Balltrain Live

2011 Year in Review

2012-01-08T21:07:00.000-08:00

What did 2011 hold for me? It feels like it went by too fast. Every year goes faster which must mean I’m getting old. I’ll probably skip over the part that in 2011 I entered my 30’s. . . what happened to my 20’s?

The winter of 2011 Jan-March was truly the “winter of Brandon”. I went to more Jazz games last season and went snowboarding more than ever before. Indirectly all of it was due to working at Backcountry. The snowboarding was more “directly” related to working there as I was able to visit multiple ski resorts for free. I hit the Canyons a few times and they have really expanded their resort since my previous visits in high school. The bubble lift is pretty sweet. Nothing like sitting on a heated lift with a windshield as you head up the mountain. The Jazz games were two-fold: 1) getting tickets through Backcountry either as a client of KPMG or through the company’s tickets, which of course was awesome; and 2) friends inviting me to games because they knew I was available to go, unlike in previous years where they knew the answer would be “sorry I’m working late, again”. So pretty much my move to Backcountry worked out pretty sweet in the “perks” department early 2011.

The downer that occurred in that stretch was that Jerry Sloan abruptly retired (already covered in previuos post) and DWill was traded all within a couple weeks in early February. I did get to see 2 of the last 3 Jerry Sloan coached games so that was pretty great, even though both were losses. Funny thing is, the night of that last game versus the Bulls, my buddies and I played ball down in Lehi. At the Maverik after, Thurl Bailey walks in on his way home from his Jazz coverage. We chatted with him for a while and he told us Sloan would be stepping down the next day. All of us, “Nah!” I will never doubt Big T again! :)

Early May I had to head down to Costa Rica for work. It was kind of weird being in another country. I found myself a little in fear that if something happened to me I now had a wife and children back home. Much different feeling than when I was on the mission. All in all Costa Rica was fun to speak in Spanish and be back in the Latin culture again but all I really did was work all week so we didn’t do anything special besides eat a lot, which is what I usually do anyway.

Two weeks later I got news I needed to head to Little Rock, Arkansas for work. We flew into Memphis and drove down to Little Rock. I crossed the Mississippi River for the first time. It was much bigger than I had envisioned. Pretty majestic to cross. Little Rock had a small time feel that I really enjoyed. The Clinton Presidential Library was also pretty impressive. I didn’t know that all Presidents had Libraries. You could spend a few days at least in any given Library since so much history happened during any President’s term. Clinton’s was pretty fun since it was right during my growing up years of the ‘90s.

In June the travel continued. For my CPA training I went to Bar Harbor, Maine, but in a round about way. We took the red-eye from SLC to Vegas, then to JFK in New York, then to Boston. From Boston we drove up to Bar Harbor. Maine is beautiful, Acadia National Park was fabulous and the little Harbor town I did my conference in was fun. The only unusual thing was my boss decided to book us a Bread & Breakfast instead of a normal hotel. It was nice and cozy but we felt a little weird checking in. The owner of the B&B is a CPA so he liked that we picked his B&B for our conference stay.

On the final day in Boston after the week in I got to tour Fenway Park. It was pretty cool to tour such an old park with all the history of the Red Sox. The scene in “Moneyball” where Billy Beane gets the Red Sox GM offer was pretty cool to me because I knew I was sitting right there in that press box just a couple months earlier.

From Boston I got home to SLC, only to fly the next morning to Vegas to meet up with my family who were already driving to Disneyland! Coast to coast in 2 days! We enjoyed a 4-day Disneyland vacation. Cannon was so good and loved all of the rides; well, except one. He kept asking every day to ride the Tower of Terror. He would grab a map as soon as we entered the park and point to Tower of Terror and say “I want to ride THAT one!”. Finally on the last day I decided he needed to get what he wished for. He knew as soon as we went into the little prep room it was a bad idea. But we had waited an hour to ride and I wasn’t letting him out of it that easy. Needless to say he cried pretty hard. His grandma Christine rode with us and she took a picture of him as soon as the ride was over, pure tears. I overheard people whispering “He is too young for that dad to take on this ride” so I announced to our crowd that he had been begging all week for his punishment of a ride. (I’m writing this from another Disneyland trip this week here in January. Cannon specifically said right away he did NOT want to ride Tower of Terror this time).

In August Rachel and I ran a pretty sweet “Rivalry Relay” with some of our neighborhood friends. It was a relay race from the U down to BYU. It took all day but we did pretty good I think. It was husbands against wives. The wives had around a ½ hour head start but we caught up with them by leg 5 (around Little Cottonwood Canyon) and never looked back. I ran the opening leg, a middle leg, and our final leg. I ran the opening leg as hard as I could. I honestly thought before the race I would have to run the final leg as hard as I could as well, figuring we’d be neck and neck with the wives. I took my sweet time on the final leg since we had such a monster lead J.

September. I turned 30. Rachel threw me a surprise birthday party. Very thoughtful of her. Once again I say to myself “What happened to my 20’s?”.

October- I make one last trip to Arkansas. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that in Little Rock there is a restaurant called the Whole Hog Café that is the best barbecue I have ever had. Literally the best ribs I have ever had (and I’ve had a lot of ribs). I’m not sure I can express how impressive this place is. It is a simple restaurant in a strip mall with a modest sign. But walk in and you will immediately notice that the entire walls are lined with trophies from all the barbecue competitions they have won. The night we went there was some Corvette convention there or something because there were about 30 Corvettes in the parking lot. Pretty cool stuff. I also remember that while I was spending that second stint in Arkansas I read on twitter that Steve Jobs passed away. So I was riding in a rental car (as a passenger not a driver :) ) when I found out Steve Jobs had died. I feel like that is one of the big events of 2011 and commented on it when it happened.

November- Thanksgiving at my mom’s the Sunday before, at Rachel’s mom’s on Thanksgiving day. I would like to make a permanent note that I had multiple TD’s in the Turkey Bowl that day which is the most important thing after all J.

Also in November Rachel and I got to stay at the Stein Erickson Lodge at the Deer Valley Resort for a night thanks to her Dad & Stepmom Diana. We drove up in my crappy Civic into the valet-only parking lot. The bellhop tried to open my rear drivers side door to get my bags but it doesn’t open from the outside anymore so I had to open it from the inside. We had spent the night shopping for Christmas gifts at the Park City Outlets so really my whole backseat was filled with shopping bags, not bags for our overnighters. I pulled out a tiny little backpack and showed the bellhop, “This is all”. I felt really out of place with all the service and plush resort. It was fun to stay there but a funny night for Rachel and I as we realized we’re probably more comfortable at a Fairfield Inn.

It’s always amazing how fast the year flies. Time seems to pass faster, especially when you’re not paying attention. From writing my brother Casey every week I’m reminded of how it felt on the mission; you had a specific “end date” in your mind whether you wanted to admit it or not, and that end date made time pass slow in a sense. But in “normal life” you have no fixated end date, and when you’re not paying attention suddenly lots of time has passed. I do, however, feel that I’ve learned to appreciate events that happen during my time even at a relatively early age. Probably because my dad was gone so young, but I frequently sit back and think about how great my various experiences are.

December- Flies by as usual. A few Christmas parties, all great. I even through a “Ball Family Christmas Party Featuring Little Caesar’s Pizza” for the extended Ball family like Grandma and Grandpa Ball used to do. It worked out pretty well for year one of the re-launch. Hopefully we can keep it growing in the future. Santa visited our house and left Cannon a Batman Cave, Brooky a Kitchen, and Rachel some boots and a pea coat. Then right after Christmas was over we headed out on a two-week vacation to Southern California thanks to the invitation from our friends the Brewers! (and my boss :) ). So here I am, ringing in 2012 on the road in sunny California.

I frequently end meetings at work noting that whatever particular meeting that just ended was the “best meeting ever.” I say that mostly as an optimistic view of the results that will come from having the meeting. If you buy into the theory that you continually build and progress as a person and as a team/family/whatever unit, then each day at least has the potential to be the best day ever. And so will begin 2012, the best year ever. I have a great wife, 2 great kids, great job, great home, great everything. And that is the BASE, so it will build from here.

OUT.

A Christmas Story

2011-12-23T09:57:00.001-08:00

Other than it being the title of the best Christmas movie ever I thought I'd drop a little Christmas story today as I reminisce on my favorite Christmas's growing up. I was telling my wife a story last night and realized I couldn't remember exactly what year it related to. Exactly what age I was when I had my Christmas experience isn't all-important but it's sad to realize I can't remember the specific years of each Christmas.

It first started last night talking to Rachel about the year I wanted a Nintendo game system. I had a Commodore 64 computer that had lots of games on it and my dad kept threatening that if Santa brought me a Nintendo I'd have to give up my computer. He also emphasized that I would only have the Nintendo with the 1 free game (Mario Bros. & Duck Hunt) or I could keep my computer and it's many games. From the perspective of an adult now I realize he was just trying to stave off the inevitable purchase of a Nintendo and the expense of the games that come with it. Shrewd move of him trying to threaten my computer games, which I loved dearly as well. I held strong in the end and kept requesting the Nintendo, hopeful that I would someday be able to secure another game or two. I honestly did have doubt waking up that morning as to whether or not a Nintendo would be waiting for me, but there it was sitting on the couch as I came out to the tree. I had already played Mario Bros. at friend's houses so many times that I pretty much immediately wanted another game. :)

Now here's where it gets fuzzy for me. I'll have to go back and check my scrapbooks because I can't remember if some of these gifts fell on the same Christmas or each were individual years, but if I rank the top Christmas's in the annals of my history, the top gifts include the Nintendo, the Sega Genesis (obviously a progression on the Nintendo, I even remember I must've been 12 on that one since it was the last Christmas in the Sandy house), the electronic racetrack, and the grand-daddy of them all, the basketball hoop. I believe I got the Nintendo or the racetrack the same Christmas as the basketball hoop, and here's why:

I had been asking for a basketball hoop for a long time but felt resigned to the fact that it was not meant to be. How could Santa even fit a huge backboard down the chimney? (Which we had at the Sandy house). I came out and opened my presents and was pretty satisfied with the haul. I had expected if a hoop had indeed been delivered from Santa's sleight it would be in a giant box with the backboard and rim. Since no box was present, it was obviously for naught. Oh well, maybe next year. As we were cleaning up the boxes and wrapping paper my dad asked me to head outside and shovel the driveway. Usually I would probably be prone to complain about such an assignment, but since I had just received a boatload of presents from Santa for being good i figured I better respond in kind. I peaked out the window to see how much snow had fallen the night before. . . sitting in the driveway, all setup in the concrete ready to play with a bow on the rim, was my brand new basketball hoop. Now that was Christmas magic!

Anybody that lived on Borg drive during those few years will remember the games on that hoop. Pretty much daily in the summertime we would play at least for a while. I don't think I have ever used a Christmas present more before or since. Cannon and Brooklyn are still too young for this year to be in the running for "Best Christmas Ever" but it's just a couple years away before Cannon enters that window where Santa will have to step up and provide a gift that will become his all-time favorite. I hope he likes basketball :)

Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T20:57:00.000-07:00

So I'm here in Arkansas on a business trip, riding in a car after work, checking my iPhone to see what Twitter has to offer. CNN tweets that Steve Jobs has passed away. "No way that's real" I think, even if it did come from CNN's twitter feed. Then I see it is indeed legit as every news source feed I follow confirms it. Truly a passing of an icon.

Back in my Comcast days I applied for a promotion of Call Center Supervisor. My boss at the time Steve Finch encouraged me to apply. When we discussed interview strategy he told me I had to find someone who was a good example of leadership. Finch's person was Walt Disney. He was always raving about Disney, Disneyland, the service, the magic, the whole experience. He told me that once in an interview he heard a guy use Hitler as a great example of a leader because he got so many people to follow him (Kind of makes sense, but i definitely wasn't going that route).

I chose Steve Jobs. I knew he was the leader of Apple and he was responsible for the ipod, one of the coolest inventions ever. I tried to do some research on him before my interview but looking back I know I butchered him in my interview. I kept referring to him but didn't really have any substance to back it up. Even today I don't have a ton of substance other than when you say his name you know his leadership is what has made Apple what it is. iEverything.

I didn't get the job that time around but I still remember thinking of Steve Jobs as my top example of leadership, something I would still think of today. Apple is a company that has taken risks, been creative, and hasn't been afraid to be the lead dog in many technological areas. I'm pretty much the antithesis of all those things since I'm so risk averse but I can appreciate how hard it is to stick your neck out there and hope it flies. In so many cases the products Jobs was responsible for bringing to market flew well and were copied the world over.

I may have written something similar to this before but all the time I think about how if I could go back to 1992 just before my dad died and visit him, I'd want to show him all the technological advances of today. When I have that vision in my head of what I would show him to represent all the advances from 1992 to now, I basically have in my hand an iPhone and an iPad and that pretty much covers everything I would want to show (the internet, the incredible advances in cell phones, computers, HD cameras, mp3's, touch screens, video phone/face time, apps, the works). So basically all the advances in the past 20 years that I would want to take back in time with me can be directly linked to products of Steve Jobs' mind. I felt like that was worth writing about. RIP

Jerry Sloan

2011-02-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

It is 19 years ago this month that my dad passed away (on the 6th). He definitely wasn't as in to sports as I am now, but he would occasionally watch a Jazz game with me when I was young. The game I remember most was the Jazz vs. Bulls triple-overtime game. By the end of the third overtime Pippen had fouled out and Jordan got ejected. It was a thriller.

The game was on February 3rd, 1992. My dad died 3 days later. I always have this memory in my mind of him coming home from work and coming in the door at 6:30. I would be on the couch usually watching "Cheers" reruns when he walked in. My memory is that I would always half-heartedly glance over with a "hey dad" and turn back to my show. Why put any importance on his arrival? He comes home every day. . .

Last night I had setup a recording of the Jazz-Bulls game (ironic it's the Bulls again) because I wanted to see how Carlos Boozer played in his return to Salt Lake City. I saw the first quarter or so and thought, "I don't need to record the rest I probably won't come back and watch it anyway. Just another game." And I left to go play basketball with my friends like I always do on Wednesday nights.

It's funny to think back how you would react differently if you knew something big was going to happen. If I had known it was going to be Jerry Sloan's last game, I would have bailed on ball with my friends and watched every last second. I'm sure most of Utah feels the same. Maybe it's better to have just a quick, cut-it-off ending instead of some type of retirement tour.

I can't pinpoint the time when I became so emotionally invested in the Jazz, but I know it's been a long time. Watching a game, I still feel like I'm 11 years old watching it on Channel 13 KSTU, before even the days of KJZZ or FSN. I loved hearing Hot Rod call the games and of course watching Stockton and Malone. Through it all, Jerry Sloan has been the coach. I was seven years old when he started coaching. I remember at the end of '88 when Reagan's term was ending and my dad commented to me how he was the only President I had ever known. Well, here I am much later in life and Jerry Sloan is the only coach I've ever known, at least as far as my basketball memory takes me.

The first game I ever went to was against the 76ers at the Salt Palace. I don't remember the year but it had to be after Sloan was already the coach. I do remember seeing Barkley and his bald head. The Jazz won, and for some reason I remember the 76ers coach got ejected in the second half. That was just another game in the books then, but I still remember it today.

I've actually had the Jazz season of my life so far as far as attending games is concerned. I've been to seven games already this year with an 8th scheduled (so far), including both the Rockets and Thunder games last week (both losses, unfortunately). But somehow I got to see 2 of Sloan's final 3 games at home. Interesting that they were all losses, but that's just been the trend this season; losing at home for whatever reason.

I wish it could have gone on forever; just one of those things that is a big part of your life, but not something that is consciously on your mind because it's so routine.

During a news clip today they showed highlights from the early '90s. We've had some great teams over the years. Some of the highlights were showing Stockton making some absolutely ridiculous passes to Malone. Just watching the 30-seconds of highlights was a reminder as to how great those players were. The 2007 series over the Rockets, Game 7 in Houston, was also an incredible run. I'll never forget Andrei Kirilenko's ill-advised 3 pointer to tie the game 88-all. My friends and I are all screaming, "No, no, no!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's funny how things work out. I've discussed future coaching candidates with friends for the past two years at least, always with the assumption that Sloan's departure was so far off that anybody we discussed wouldn't even be an option by the time the real decision came down. My favorite candidate was always Tyrone Corbin. Knows the Jazz: played for us, coached with us, part of the family so to speak. I can't help but wonder if part of Sloan's move was to help ensure Corbin was named the new head coach. While the details of why he really left today so suddenly are cloudy, if part of it was to segway Corbin into the new job, it was just one last sly coaching move from Sloan.

Thanks for 23 years. I love the Jazz!

2010 Year in Review

2011-01-05T11:17:00.001-08:00

2010 was truly an integral year in the life of Brandon Ball; looking back, I can’t believe I’m sitting where I am today and would have never believed at the start of the year that I would go through so much in one year. Here it is, the balltrain’s super-awesome 2010 year in review.

January- You know how every kid hates the first few days back at school, but then after a couple weeks you’re in the routine of school and you’re used to it so it’s not really that bad? I’ve decided that is the perfect analogy for busy season in public accounting. The first few nights of working til 8-9-10 ish are quite the grind, but after a week or so you get into the routine of it and suddenly you find yourself saying in your head, “It’s not so bad. I can deal with working late into the night every day for the foreseeable future.” I also indirectly experienced a key moment in January and I even posted on it earlier this year. I was working on the BMW audit and one of the accountants there had told me about how in late 2009 he had run a marathon in Greece. I thought that was one of the coolest things I had ever heard. A big accomplishment that he would remember forever and in Greece to boot. Pretty cool if you ask me and it turned out to be an inspiration for me just a short time later.

February/March- Really late January I get onto my main audit IHC. I had previously agreed with a coworker that we were going to lose weight starting January 1^st, but I had done nothing up to that point in any effort to lose any weight. We decide as a team that during the audit we are going to have a weight loss competition. Everybody joins in, records their personal goals, and we decide to eat healthy (read: Subway every day) as much as possible. At the time I weigh in at 260, my all-time high.

So one night I’m sitting at home (it must have been a Saturday or Sunday) and my sister Jackie is over visiting. I tell her about my supposed weight loss goal but how I’m not sure how to start. She picks up my laptop and immediately goes to the signup page for the Salt Lake City Half Marathon in April. For some reason I decide to sign up, and my fate of 2010 being the year of the run is sealed. I start running a few times a week, usually around midnight in the freezing February cold, just a few miles each time around my neighborhood. I also start spending Saturday mornings on “long” runs, which on the first Saturday meant a healthy 3 miles, which felt like forever at the time.

I hurt my foot a couple weeks before the big half marathon and wanted to just bail completely, but I’m convinced by Jackie and my sweet wife to just go for it anyway. I finish if I remember correctly at 2:48. Not a great time but I was at mile 11 when the full marathon winner passed me by so I thought that was pretty good for me.

May- So after the marathon I tell Jackie, “You know, if I kept running for a couple more years I might be ready to run a marathon in a couple years”. So since the St. George Marathon has a 3^rd year guaranteed entry in the lottery, I tell her to sign us up for it, assuming of course this is year one of getting rejected from the lottery. So when the email came titled “Good News from St. George Marathon” I knew I was in trouble! Problem was, Jackie did something wrong on the registration so somehow she was rejected while I got in alone! But I set off to start running and basically every Saturday the entire summer I was out running a “long” run in preparation.

June- We were positive that our daughter would come the same way as Cannon, so we scheduled an inducement a few days after the due date. Thursday June 17^th was the due date, but we went to bed as usual. Next thing I know I’m waking up just after midnight and Rachel is packing a bag. “What are you doing?” “I think my water just broke we need to go to the hospital.” I was totally shocked that she was coming on her own! We had to wake up Cannon and drop him off at my mom’s on the way to the hospital. He was NOT pleased and we could hear his screaming even outside. Lesson: try to not wake your kids up at 1 am and drop them off while they are still not fully awake and disoriented.

So we get to the hospital, and a few short hours later Brooklyn Ball is born! It actually worked out perfectly, just Rachel and I alone for a few hours waiting for our baby, and she’s born before the world wakes up and even knew what was happening. It was a fun experience and went way smoother than the inducement so we were happy all around.

So I took two weeks off after Brooklyn was born. It was supposed to be to relax with my children, but in reality it was to finish our basement. I painted our entire basement in those two weeks and I basically hated the basement by the time I was done. I still feel a little bitterness everytime I walk down there. Lesson- if you are finishing your basement, just pay somebody to paint when you’re that close to the end. We did do some fun things like head to Lagoon and the pool a few times.

On the last day of my time off I got a call that would change my life so to speak. My old friend Simon called me and offered me a job at Backcountry.com. He had worked with me at KPMG and needed somebody to fill a new position opening up. We discussed it a bit and I agreed to meet with him to discuss it more, but I really didn’t feel like I’d end up taking it as I had my mind set on making the big “Manager” level at KPMG. I had even fielded a few other offers previously but had always stayed loyal to KPMG and my original goal out of college. But I did feel good about this job after hearing more so I went down the path of applying and seeing what happened.

July- Once back to the grind, I had this offer in the back of my mind, but it was a slow-developing process and plus, if it didn’t work out, I wasn’t looking to leave KPMG so I wanted to keep doing a good job. Up to Washington I went just like the previous two years. I actually grew to love the Tri-Cities area and even could live there. Beautiful Columbia River, all the stuff you need, good people. The weeks up there were the same as always; eating out at the same restaurants on the same routine every week and working all day. I even snuck in a couple drives up there which I always enjoyed. It’s nice once in a while to pop in some books on tape and go on a long drive. Oregon was the most scenic by far, but I always loved finally seeing the lights of Tremonton on the way back, meaning I was coming back into my familiar territory.

August- I spend a week in Orlando in training and even run into a couple old friends down there that worked in other offices. On the last night there, I get the call with an official offer from Backcountry. I talk it over with Rachel, it feels right, and I accept the next day. What a whirlwind and one of the biggest paradigm shifts I’ve ever experienced. Where coming out of college I was locked in to public accounting for life, suddenly I’m off to work for an outdoor gear company in Park City of all places.

September- I turn 29. I have always loved the movie “City Slickers” and especially the scene where he tells the school kids about growing old “Your 20’s are a blur. You get to your 30’s and you think, ‘What happened to my 20’s?’” Well I’m just about finished with the blur.

October- Marathon day. Truly one of the highlight achievements of the year and my life. Reaching that goal opened my eyes that even things you think you couldn’t do you really can do if you just try and dedicate yourself. I’m hoping I can hone in that dedication on other goals I have for 2011.

November- BYU loses to Utah 17-16 in the final November Holy War for the foreseeable future. Jake Heaps played like a stud and I was pissed the coaches played to settle for a 40+ yard field goal. Weird year for BYU football. Lots of coaching blunders all over the place. Here’s hoping Bronco puts his head on straight and makes better decisions going into Independence.

December- My favorite thing this year was that we went to the Christmas Sing Along downtown at the Energy Solutions Arena. They had an orchestra play the music for everyone to sing along to and Jon Schmidt came out and performed a few songs as well. Really a fun event that I hope we keep going to from here on out.

“Santa” got Cannon a “motor” as he likes to call it. It’s a power-wheels Jeep! I know both Rachel and I ALWAYS had wanted one when we were young. It’s probably more of a summertime gift but he’s rode it a few times so far and loved it, and on the plus side Brooklyn loves going for rides with him too!

So here I am a year later with a new job, a big accomplishment under my belt, and a second kid. Lots of changes, but all good. Instead of toiling away working until past 10 pm every night these next few months, I’ll spend a couple hours in the evening with the kids and on good nights have both them and myself in bed by 10.

Marathon

2010-10-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

The Yoga workout on P90X is one of the hardest workouts in my opinion. 90 minutes of trying to contort your body in ways that I absolutely can't do. However, you try your best and make it through. The first 45 minutes are the true grind going from downward dog to the warrior positions over and over. After the first 45 minutes there is a one minute transition before the final 45 minutes of easier poses. During that 1 minute rest period Tony Horton looks at the camera and tells you "Take in the fact that you just did that." Since crossing the finish line of the St. George Marathon yesterday around 1 pm, that's pretty much the only thing I can think.

Rachel and I went on a cruise last year in August with some of our friends. I gained about 10-15 pounds during that week from eating nonstop and carried that through the end of the year being in the absolute worst physical condition of my life. I look at the pictures from our cruise and I am absolutely disgusting. While I've only lost about 20 lbs in actual weight since then, my body composition is obviously much better, and yet there is still about 50-75 lbs worth of improvement I can make. Anyway, I bring it up to help myself realize what a crazy year it's been. Definitely the year of the run for me. With my first half marathon in April and now this, I've been running consistently since February and culminate with the St. George Marathon. I'm hopeful that I keep up the habit to some extent, but I will look to start doing some other types of exercises as well since I've avoided everything but running due to the training "focus" all year.

My time certainly wasn't spectacular: 6:02.39 was the official time posted in the paper today in St. George, but my entire goal was to simply finish and I did just that. In fact, even though it was a slow pace, which I planned on, it was probably the best run I've ever had. I plowed all the way to mile 22 on a good system right to plan before I ran out of gas and had to walk/shuffle the final 4 miles. Even when walking I was still shuffling pretty quick, kind of a imitation run I guess. I used a book called "The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer" by David Whitsett, Forrest Dolgener, and Tanjala Kole, which I highly recommend to any first timers. The key focus is to train for and finish a marathon. They emphasize not setting a time goal since the accomplishment itself is the goal. Time goals can be set for future marathons once you "know" what you're getting into. There are also a lot of mental trainings they like you to do to help your focus and positive outlook on finishing the race. I feel these things are all important for sure. I never doubted from start to finish whether I was going to finish. I knew the entire way. People asked when did I hit "the wall". I'm not sure if I did or not. My understanding of "the wall" was the feeling of exhaustion and a mental thought of "I absolutely can't go any farther". I can definitely say I truly started to slow down and walk more than I planned on around mile 22, but I never doubted finishing at all. In fact, at mile 18 I was right on pace for where I thought I would be and it pumped me up to know I was entering uncharted territory and I was definitely going to finish. My mental timeframe from the beginning was 6 hours since that is the rough time frame of the race, and I was within 2 1/2 minutes of that time, pretty good pace throughout if you ask me.

Coming around the corner for the last quarter mile was an incredible feeling. My buddy Jeff Davis made his wife and son wait three hours after seeing his dad finish just to see me come around the corner. When you've been all alone on the journey, it's awesome to see a friendly face give you the final push. My mother-in-law was on the side just a short bit later with a "go b-ball" poster and Rachel, Kamille, and Cannon were right at the finish line with posters for me too (Grant was taking care of Brooklyn for all of us). What a feeling.

Thanks to my sweet sister Jackie for trying to challenge me back in February to run with her. It got me off my butt and doing something to get active again. The St. George Marathon is a lottery and if you don't get in the first 2 times you are guaranteed in the third year. I told her after the half marathon in April, "You know, if I could keep running relatively consistently for the next couple years I think in three years I'd be ready for a marathon. Go ahead and sign us up for St. George. I'm sure we won't get in this year so we can just start the process of the three year wait." Well, she did something funny when she registered us because I got in and she didn't, but in any case I was able to accomplish this year what I originally thought would take three years to build up to. It's amazing what your body can do when you push it. Maybe in three years we'll just actually run one together. . . with the Rache Train too!

Farewell to KPMG

2010-08-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

So after 2 years, 8 months of pure grind, I accepted a new job offer and am leaving KPMG. Words can’t express the joy my wife feels, but I can certainly express some “greatest hits” if you will, in no particular order. Warning-this will take a while:
Copies- After returning from my new hire training and filling in for a few days on a job, my first “real” job was to be shipped up to Seattle for two weeks. My first day? I was lead to a 3 foot stack of paper and told to make copies of all of it. “Think of it as a rite of passage” my senior said. I had to unstaple, copy, re-staple the originals, collate and staple and punch the copies, and do it again. . . for 10 hours. My legs were killing me from standing all day long at the copy machine (I can’t think of a time before or since that I’ve stood in one place for so long). I was thinking all day long “I can’t believe I went to school for five years to do THIS!” True, in a way of sorts it was a good rite of passage, but it still sucked.
Woo’s Teriyaki- So my first year up in Washington I keep ordering the hot at my favorite Mongolian restaurant, Three Flames. So my manager Dan Rinehart tells me about the famous Woo’s Teriyaki, a small Chinese restaurant in Richland famous for it’s hot food. I tell him I’m up to the heat so we should go try it. We go to dinner one night, the waitress comes over to take our order.
“I want the teriyaki chicken, hot.” I say. She pauses, looks me up and down, and responds, “Have you had our hot?” Me-“No, why? Is it really that hot?” Her-“Where else have you eaten around here?” I respond the Mongolian restaurant up the street and I handle the hot there just fine. Her response: “See my friend the waitress over there? When she goes to the Mongolian she gets seven scoops of the hot. She can only handle the medium here.”
I sit back and try to take in what she has just told me; clearly a warning for any novice spicy-food eater. “I’ll take the hot”.
As soon as the chicken touched my lips I knew it was a bad call. Easily, and I mean by a wide margin, the hottest food I have ever had in my life (or will ever have for that matter). I put down about ½ of my order but couldn’t actually eat the entire thing. The waitress offered to take it to the back and rinse the chicken in some water to dull the heat. Clearly defeated, I denied the offer and just left the remaining chicken to waste and paid my bill. That was the first and last time I ate at Woo’s.
Speeding Ticket- I drove up to Washington once in a while during my summers of traveling every week. Being a 10 hour or so drive, you would assume you would want to make as good as time as possible. So one time I leave home around 3, get up to Brigham City/Tremonton area and hit a massive, unexpected storm that closes down the freeway for over an hour. So I’m sitting there parked on the freeway fuming mad at how much time I’m losing. So what do I do? Of course I try to “make up” time by speeding furiously the rest of the way up; well, furiously the rest of the way until I pass a black police car in the dead of night in Oregon. I had basically passed right in front of him before I saw him, and I immediately pulled over to the right lane and prepared to be pulled over because I was flying. Turns out he let me off extremely easy because I thought the speed limit was 75 since it was rural Oregon and the speed limit is actually 65 max throughout all of Oregon. When I called in to the county to pay the ticket the lady knocked the fee down another $100 so the pain wasn’t too brutal. Every time I drive through Oregon since that experience the speedometer hasn’t topped 65, not even your standard 5 miles over.
Triceraballs- So I’ve been with the firm like 3 months, all through busy season, and all I want to do is go play basketball with my friends on Wednesday night like we always do. I tell my Senior, “My wife gives me crap about playing ball every week and now you want to give me crap! Look, I don’t care what I have to do all I want to do is play basketball on Wednesday night I don’t care what the consequences!” He relents and allows me to go; I subsequently fill the rest of the day talking up about what a great baller I am. I actually for the only time in my life have a great night playing basketball, hitting a number of 3-point shots. So I come in the next morning to the audit room and the rest of the team is already there. “Call me 3-ball!” I announce with pride, referring of course to my great night of shooting 3-pointers; however, it was not understood as such. “3-ball? What is that supposed to mean?” The conversation quickly turns toward the gutter and heavy inquisition takes place regarding their way of understanding my “announcement”. They quickly modify the nickname through various revisions, settling on “triceraballs”. I receive a nice picture in my email later that day with a triceratops that has punctured 3 basketballs, which of course, triceratops had punctured in his self-defense against 3-ballasaurus Rex. I tried to watch what I said the rest of the engagement but I always found myself in compromising positions.
Dork Mormon from Utah- visiting the national trainings is quite the experience if you live in the bubble, which we obviously all do. My favorite example is the training I went to last year in Dallas. On Friday during the final class, we were organized into new groups for some reason. So the instructor decided to go around the room and have everybody introduce themselves, what office they are from, and “tell us what you did last night”. There were about 50-55 people in the room. Person after person stood up to tell about the insane experience last night of going to the biggest bar in Dallas and how they “rode the bull”. It was a wild party and everybody could nod in agreement as each person shared their sweet night of riding the mechanical bull. It comes to be my turn, I stand up and relate “I’m Brandon Ball from the Salt Lake City office, and last night I stayed in my hotel room and watched the NBA Draft.” I’m pretty sure the crowd knew something semi-lame was coming out of my mouth when they heard “Salt Lake City”. While I am who I am, it makes me laugh. For what it’s worth, we drafted Eric Maynor and traded him like 3 months later.
All-nighter- I only pulled one official “all-nighter” during my time at KPMG, and even then it ended for me at about 4:30 in the morning, at which time I went home and slept for a couple hours before going back to work. I do remember from about 1-3 a.m. playing Rage Against the Machine on my computer for a couple hours. The Senior, who requested I play Rage, says after, “Well, now I remember why it’s been so long since I’ve listened to Rage”, of course referring to not liking the heavy screaming, etc. My response, “Funny, I was just thinking to myself about what a shame it is that I haven’t listened to Rage in so long” of course referring to how awesome Rage is. In case you’re wondering, that was the last time I listened to Rage.
Waterfast- So last busy season instead of having a “get fat” competition my team had a weight loss competition. Somehow, someway I started running at like midnight, outside in the cold, a few times a week. I also basically stopped eating dinner, thereby dropping my calorie count for the day drastically. We also had healthy snacks instead of complete sugar crap (with the exception of a large tub of jelly-belly’s). I had quite a few “blow days”, pretty much anytime a good lunch was offered or some other treat was offered, but I got to the final couple days within 5 pounds of my 20 pound weight loss goal. The due date was Wednesday, but on Monday I had a good lunch offer and decided I was giving up on the goal (worth $100 to me, but I was giving it up for a lunch, awesome). So I eat my lunch, which I don’t even remember what it was but I’m sure it was good, and I regret it in the afternoon, thinking “I could’ve made the goal if I just had some discipline!” I decide at that point that I’m going on a water-fast for the next 36 hours and dropping down 3-5 lbs to make my weight. I can tell you every temptation in the book was thrown at me over the next 36 hours, but I had nothing but water (and a lot of trips to the restroom) and woke up Wednesday morning at my goal. I still have the picture of the official weigh-in on my phone. I took the $100 and promptly gained back my 5 lbs. I am happy to say I’ve stayed at that weight though and haven’t put back on the remaining 15, for now.
Wings- Jackson’s sports bar up in Washington has all-you-can-eat wings on Wednesday nights. The first time I heard about it, I knew it would become a staple. For the rest of the travel year last year we hit up Jackson’s at least every other week (when you’re eating all you can eat wings and realize how much chicken you just ate after the fact, it usually takes longer than one week to get over it). On one of our final visits for the year in October, the waitress initiated our visit by pointing me out and saying “I know you love the golden garlic wings I’ll get an order ready for you”. While she was correct in noting my favorite flavor, I took due note that we had officially eaten there too many times that summer, considering she had never been our waitress before. At 25 wings I feel like you “made your money” since that was essentially the same price on other nights as the cost on the all-you-can-eat night. My personal record was 45 wings but a couple other guys tied and/or beat me in the overall standings. Their hottest sauce, “Atomic” isn’t quite the burner of Woo’s teriyaki but definitely leaves you reaching for the water. I would usually have just one Atomic wing last to say I did it, but other than that, stick with the Golden Garlic.
“Emily”- So my office always sends out a “farewell” email to let the rest of the office know who’s leaving to what new job, etc. So mine comes out this week and the final paragraph says “We wish Brandon, Emily, and their two children the best of luck. . . “ So I’m not sure who Emily is, but Rachel sure had a great response, typical of wives of public accountants, “I KNEW YOU HAD A MISTRESS!”

I’m out!

Adventures in Running-Idaho Style

2010-08-19T14:42:00.001-07:00

So I had quite the unusual experience running a couple weeks ago. It had to be either the highlight or lowlight of my sweet marathon training. I’m probably going to go with lowlight.
We were staying up in Idaho for Rachel’s family reunion, the Super Sweet Stewart family reunion! I’m at the point in my marathon training where I take quite the long run on Saturday mornings as part of this training to actually move my fat body over 26.2 miles. So I let Rachel know that Saturday morning I’ll have to join the festivities a tad late due to my run, scheduled for 14 miles. I tell her “I’m just going to leave your Aunt’s house where we are staying, run out 7 miles, and run back.” Rachel has a bright idea, “Why don’t you just run from Diane’s house to my Grandma’s house? I bet that is pretty close to 14 miles. Then I won’t have to come back and pick you up when you’re done.” So Rachel’s aunt lives in Ammon up on the mountain and her Grandma lives in Shelley. I was reluctant to take on the challenge primarily because most of the way would be country road with no water fountain or even a gas station to pick up a drink. I express my concern with my sweet wife and she gives me the stare of “just do what I say”. So I make plans to stop at the “last outpost” Maverik about 8 miles into the run to buy a couple Gatorades.
So I wake up early on Saturday morning and head out for the run. My first 8 miles are pretty much straight down Sunnyside, which is a main road in Idaho Falls. It’s actually quite the nice morning and the path along Sunnyside is ideal. I’m feelin’ good and have a good groove going. Rachel stops by about 90 minutes in to check on me on the way to her Grandmas, I’m feeling good and wave her off. I get down to the end of Sunnyside and head into the Maverik drenched in sweat to buy my couple Gatorades.
Quick tangent: so inside the Mav in front of me in line a “young adult” (a dude about 21 years old, at what age do I have to reach to call him a “kid”?) tries to buy 3 mountain dews and a couple huge bags of sunflower seeds with a welfare credit card and the lady tells him they don’t accept the card. He freaks out on her and storms out, apparently thinking that screaming curse words all over the place will make the lady change the store policy. Now, soda and sunflower seeds are a step up from beer and cigarettes but come on aren’ t welfare funds supposed to be used for actual food necessities like milk, eggs, bread, etc? Applause to Maverik if that’s their policy and not a state-mandated item. End Tangent J
So I leave the Mav with a huge Gatorade in each hand and a little under 6 miles to go. I look down the long highway and realize there is nowhere to run! The first couple miles of the country highway have turned into a 4 lane road; there is no shoulder to run on, and right off the road on both sides are monster weeds. I certainly don’t want to run in the road with 60-mph traffic coming down the pipe at me. What do I do? I improvise. Off the road 30 feet is a railroad track that does have some space on the side of it. I start down the track. The space is extremely rocky and uneven but I’m chugging along. I get another 2 miles down and finally see that on one side of the road the weeds have gone away and it’s just field on the side of the road; off the road, but manageable to run on. I cross the road to take my chances with the field instead of breaking my ankle on the train track.
Rachel’s aunt Diane stops by to check on me, I move her along. A few minutes later her uncle Garth stops and gives me a water bottle. I chug it down and he pulls away. Right after he pulls away, things get interesting. . .
I see a Bonneville County Sherriff car coming down the road and for some reason I know he’s going to turn on his lights and “pull” me over. He does just that. I can envision what he must have been thinking when he got out of the car and sized me up, “Fat dude, holding 2 gatorades and a water bottle, funny leg things on (I wear leg sleeves on my long runs because I have calf-cramping problems), all that’s missing is a helmet”.
Cop-“What are you doing?”
Me-” Um, I’m running down the road.” Duh! Honestly I know it’s just a conversation starter but what does it look like I’m doing?
Cop-“OK, Where are you headed?” I’m sure at this point he’s expecting something like “Down the street one more block” or “Just to that building over there” Remember I’m officially in Idaho Falls at this point.
Me-“Shelley” If you aren’t familiar with Idaho Falls, it’s like he pulled me over in South Jordan and instead of saying “I’m headed to a buddy’s house a couple blocks down” I respond “I’m going to Sandy!”
Cop-“What?! That’s really far, where did you come from?”
Me-“Well, up on that mountain over there”
Now the cop is confused and is thinking that it might not all be there upstairs. Cop-“What do you mean you came from up on the mountain? Are you ok?”
So now it’s time to go with the full-background explanation approach. Me-“ Look, I’m from out of town and I’m here for a family reunion but I’m training for a marathon and I had to do a long run today and I’m staying up on the mountain with a family member but I had to go down to Shelley for the family reunion this morning so for the long training run I just decided I would run from where I’m staying to where I need to be”. And that crazy run-on sentence is about as crazy as he thought I was.
This is the point where I know the cop thought I might not have it all there mentally. Cop-“Son, Who is going to take care of you once you get to Shelley?”
Holy Crap! I JUST EXPLAINED that my ENTIRE set of in-laws, including my wife and kids, are over at Shelley. What do you mean who’s going to take care of me? I’m not sure how to proceed; am I going to get a ticket? Arrested? What the crap did I do wrong? Me-“My WIFE is in Shelley and ALL of my in-laws are there too to take care of me once I get there. I’M JUST RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG OR SOMETHING?!” Obviously I’m getting frustrated at this point and he’s thinking I’m more and more not with it. Cop-“Were you running on the train tracks?”
Bingo. Should’ve known somebody would think I was a wacko and call the cops for running along the tracks.
Me-“Oh yeah. I was. There was no room to run on the side of the road for those first couple miles so I ran on the tracks. I’m not wearing headphones so I could hear a train and obviously look around and see a train. You can see I got off and crossed over when this side of the road turned to field. “
So during this nice chat Rachel’s uncle Garth saw the cop pull me over after he pulled away. He turned around and came back to check what was going on. I think when he pulled up the cop didn’t believe me when I said I knew him.
Cop-“You’re not in trouble I’m just really confused at why you’d want to go that far” I’m thinking if I actually looked like a runner it would’ve been a little different.
Me-“It’s fine I’m done I’ll just go with him.” I had gone about 9.5-10 miles so it was a good long run, just not the whole way but by then I had lost my mojo and was disheartened by the stop. I don’t want to give away too much but from my experience as a teenager, whenever cops get involved, you get out of there! So I jumped in with Garth to get a ride the rest of the way. I don’t think the cop had anything on me, but I could also tell that he was going to follow me along the road the remaining 4 miles and I wasn’t cool with that.
Anyway, I arrive at the family reunion to great fanfare and share the great tale of the cop who didn’t like my running style. While it gave a good laugh to the family for the day, I was still disappointed that I couldn’t convince him that I was a marathoner! Well, I guess I’m not yet, so next time I’m back up in Idaho after the October marathon I’ll have to go for a long run down some train tracks. On second thought, maybe not.

U to the Pac-10. . . Sucks (for me)

2010-06-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know how any BYU fan alive can positively spin Utah going to the Pac-10 while we stay back and find ourselves stuck in the Mountain West. From all the smack I've heard from U-fans in the past few days, all I have been able to do is hang my head and say, "Congratulations". What can we do? BYU got owned and I feel like there is nothing we can do about it. I'm not wallowing in the depths of despair like the football is cut from the school or something, but I do know in every discussion about BYU v. Utah we will now forever come up on the short end (unless some type of miracle occurs that takes us into the Big-12 at some point).

Why will we always come up short? It has been nationally announced that we are not "big-time" caliber. Yes, it has nothing to do with the quality of our football team, fan base, and "other sports" (seriously, we all know football is king). It has to do with political/religious factors that nobody can control. It still sucks. I think the rivalry takes a big step down due to this move. We could win the rivalry game every year and U fans can always play the Pac-10 card. "We are big-time, you are not", and there really isn't a comeback. It makes me not care about the rivalry as much as I always have when something more than "bragging rights" is usually on the line. I'm sure I'll still get pumped up every year when the game comes around, but even a win won't be as sweet. I'm even more happy looking back to know that I was at the final rivaly game in Provo where the U was still a part of the same conference as us.

While I'm certainly down and know the inevitable comments will come to switch allegiances, that is not going to happen! But I'm not an blue-goggled idiot, either. The switch is obviously huge for Utah and for the state, and if BYU was in that position we wouldn't think twice to make the move as well (I would also be just as bad throwing smack around if it was my team heading out).

I've taken the high-road so far and I know all I can say is congratulations to Utes who rub this in my face, but I do know this: for every person I see around town still wearing the "Max Hall Hates Me" t-shirts I will still be sure to let them know "I do too!".

Born to Run

2010-05-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Born to Run is potentially a life-changing book for me, if I can act on everything I want to act on. I feel by getting in to the St. George marathon this fall I'm taking the first step. My sweet sister Jackie recommended this book to me and I'm forever in her debt for encouraging me to read it. Just thinking about the book makes me want to go for a run.

When I ran my first half marathon last month my feet were KILLING! Yes my legs were sore the next day but my feet hurt so bad I couldn't walk normal for over a week. But even with my feet killing, I was thinking to myself "I can't believe I actually did that. I need to step it up a do a full marathon sometime!" But the hurt feet part was definitely scaring me. Why would my feet hurt so bad from doing something that is supposedly natural, or is it? Well, it was something similar to destiny to get the book from Jackie and start reading right when my feet were in ultimate pain because Chris McDougall had the same thought: "Why do my feet hurt when I run?" And thus was the beginning of his journey. I started to read, and have been addicted to all things running ever since.

The book mostly is a story about the Tarahumara tribe in Mexico that routinely run 100 mile races, through the mountains, in homemade sandals. That story alone would make the book great, but I also loved reading about the history and science of running. Did you know that humans are indeed "born to run"? Did you know that running shoes essentially force humans to use improper form when running, thus causing the foot pain? Because of this book I've overhauld my running form to great results (meaning no foot pain) and I find myself looking at the form of virtually every person I see outside running (and notice pretty much 100% of the time that they are using incorrect form). Basically you're supposed to keep your legs under your body and land on the ball of your foot on each step. Running shoes "encourage" longer strides and striking your heel with each step, which is what I notice pretty much all runners doing and that is what causes the injuries. While I haven't abandoned shoes to go barefoot as the book encourages, I have altered my form and haven't had any foot pain since changing, even on long runs.

No I have not magically transformed into an elite runner or anything like that; in fact with my new form I'm slower than ever as I try to change the habit, but I am now to the point where I don't "fear" or "hate" a run, which is progress for sure. I think this book reads great. It's non-fiction but reads just like a story. Rachel kept asking me "are you done with that yet?" because I couldn't put it down. The book talks so routinely about ultra-marathoners (50-100 mile races, usually in mountains) that the thought of this St. George marathon in October seems a tad anti-climactic. Well, I certainly can't even sniff even a "regular" marathon at this point and I probably have about 50-100 lbs to lose, not 50-100 miles to run. In any case, I loved this book and am more stoked than ever to train for a marathon as a result of reading it.

Lost

2010-05-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

By now this is old news. . . I mean the finale of Lost happened a whole 5 days ago. However, I'm actually glad I took a few days to think it over before writing my feelings about one of the greatest shows ever put on television.

One of the main reasons I'm happy to be writing it a few days later is I know I am writing something totally different than I would've written Sunday night, Monday, or any other day. You never know what your point of view will be in the future. That is one of my main takes on the series; I feel like it is portrayed that they had a master story line to cover the entire scope of the series from the first episode, but I don't think that's true. I feel the main idea for the story was "let's have a plane crash on a mysterious island and tell the back stories of the survivors". Throw in a few weird items on the island (polar bears, monster noises) and you have a solid plot line to build on. What makes it even more impressive to me is how the writers were able to come around (for the most part, obviously there are plenty of questions left out there unanswered) and tie up the series in a nice fashion.

I am a strict believer in the "let's take it from here and build" approach rather than the approach that they had the whole story ready from the beginning for multiple reasons: 1) who knows if tv shows are going to make it; most story ideas are just that, an idea with potential, 2) the whole back half of the plane in season 2 ended up being worthless with the exceptions of Bernard and Libby, 2 minor characters, 3) there was also an episode in season 2 where two new characters were introduced and then buried alive in the same episode-I remember reading how the writers were reacting to the fan's criticisms of too many new characters being introduced, so they killed a couple off in a quick episode which was entirely meaningless to the overall story, 4) i read an interview once with JJ Abrams (the producer/creator) and he noted how he's a big fan of boxes with mysteries inside-in this case it was the hatch in season 1, but even they hadn't decided yet what they were going to do with the mysterious hatch at the beginning of the show.

All in all it's not really important if they kept building on ideas or they had the entire series scripted out from the beginning; I feel like it was a great show that had a solid ending. Even more so I'm happy that they set it up to have an ending rather than drag the series out indefinitely until the ratings have dropped such that it gets canceled.

My one beef with this finale season was the fact they killed Sun and Gin. Especially given the ending that they could've got off the island on the plane and they could've raised their daughter, etc. kind of bugged. It seemed stupid how they died. But that's tv I guess, characters have to die :).

I'm aware that you have to watch the entire series to get anything in this show, but if you haven't seen it, I would recommend buying all 6 seasons and tearing through them. I personally rank Lost as the best drama I've ever followed on tv. I'm hoping I can find a decent replacement show in the fall. Probably the saddest part about knowing it was over was a couple days later when I happened to be on my DVR Series Recording manager screen. There was Lost at priority #1, with zero future episodes set to record. I felt like I had a little closure myself as I erased it from the series settings.

the Halfer

2010-04-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a step toward completing a life goal; I ran a half-marathon (the Salt Lake City Half Marathon). My life goal is to run 1 full marathon at some point in my life. I'm thinking it would probably be a good idea to knock it out within the next few years rather than try and get in shape at 45. . . so anyway running a 1/2 marathon was a good start. (Yes I know, most readers will think "why does a fatty like you want to run a marathon?!!" I know, I was in the "Clydesdale Division").

I finished the race in 2 hrs 45 minutes. I feel I was actually pretty under-prepared for what I was getting into, and if the soreness I'm feeling today in my legs and feet are any indication I was extremely under-prepared, but I finished with a respectable time even though I ended up walking 2-3 miles of the 13.1. I heard somebody say before the race started that their goal is always to finish the half before the winner of the full marathon finishes and I thought to myself "the winner of the full marathon will be done before I'm halfway!" Well, I did better than I thought as the marathon winner passed me when I was at mile 11, only 2 miles to go. So using that as a barometer is probably a realistic goal for next time, beat the guy that runs double the distance! Actually watching the winner pass was pretty cool, he was pretty much gliding along at what would be faster than my full-sprint speed, so to think he could do that for 26 miles is super-impressive.

I say under-prepared because I didn't train as well as I wanted to. From what I've read you're supposed to run nearly every day building up. Due to my work schedule I could usually only fit in a couple days a week plus a run on Saturday mornings. Thanks to my sister Jackie for running with me every Saturday! I ran 8 miles two Saturdays in a row but about 10 days in advance of the race I tore my calf pretty bad playing basketball. I was planning on running at least 10 the Saturday before the race and ended up just resting trying to heal up in order to make an attempt at running. So the farthest I went prior to the race was 8 miles which I think is not enough to be able to gut out and actually run the extra 5 miles, which was the case for me. I ran the first 6 1/2-7 miles and then my legs and feet were killing me so I walked 1/2, ran 1/2 the rest of the way. I felt like I had the energy to run but I was in too much pain to run, and feeling it for sure today.

The race itself is actually a lot of fun, there are people along the streets almost the whole way cheering you on, and just the feeling of running with a huge crowd all trying to accomplish the goal was pretty cool. It is a fun atmosphere to come to the finish line and see the big crowd at the Gateway cheering you through. Sadly Cannon had to go "potty" at the perfect instant such that Rachel had to take him to the restroom and missed me cross the finish line. What a bummer, but such it is with sweet kiddies!

The funniest part of a marathon? Everybody there at 6 am lined up to use the porta-potties (called "Honey Buckets" I guess) to make sure they're cleared out of any impeding bowel movements prior to the big run. Pretty hilarious to be standing in line with a couple thousand people all waiting and using a couple hundred porta-potties. I talked to a couple people who said "I don't do porta-potties" but then I would see them along the raceway in line for a porta-potty along the route, now accepting the fact of life! Why they didn't just go before the race is beyond me, maybe they learned for next time.

I don't know if a full marathon is in the cards this year with all we got going on (baby, finishing the basement, etc.) but hopefully I can improve my conditioning for another race later this year (and lose a few lbs for sure!) and get to the life goal soon. It was a good beginning.

12th Man

2010-02-18T07:25:00.000-08:00

So I wrote a letter to Tim Buckley of the Deseret News a few years ago. . . my buddies reminded me of it last night. I of course still have it saved in my old emails. I want to note to Kevin O'Connor that while I'm a few years older (and much fatter) at this point, the offer still stands:

Mr. Buckley,
I would kindly like to request information on how to submit my name into the NBA Draft. Upon looking at the state of the NBA, I have decided that I am what the NBA and our Utah Jazz needs. I can provide multiple reasons to prove my worthiness for a coveted spot on the Jazz roster next year and beyond. I would like to advise that the Jazz should NOT use their 14th or 16th pick on me, and even might consider trading down from their 21st pick to the 29th. My aim is to replace Karl Malone as the biggest steal in draft history.
Now I’m sure you are certainly questioning my credentials for this position, and I am fully prepared to answer any and all. First allow me to explain the benefits I will provide to this team and this league.
1-Youth.I am aware that I’m not NBA ready yet, but who in this draft is? It’s all a crapshoot. Since none of the players coming out in this draft are expected to perform for 3 years, I would like to have the same opportunity! An article about Dwight Howard on espn.com the other day mentioned that practice ends at noon. Noon! Over three years, I can guarantee I will put in the extra hours necessary to become a top player in the league.
2-Money. Shaq will make $30 million in one year! My entire apartment complex won’t make that amount collectively in their lives. The Jazz will benefit from my extremely low contract demands. I will not use an agent and will play for the absolute league minimum for my first 3 years. It will be a struggle to get by on the 6 figure salary, but I’m sure I can tough it out for 3 years. After I become a star and am ready to adjust my contract, I will still play for an amount that will be ridiculously below my value in order to allow my beloved Jazz to sign other prominent players in the league so that we can collectively compete for a championship.
3-A big draw (in multiple ways). A) I am a homegrown Utah boy! I’ve lived here all of my life (except for the normal 2 year trip away from home that every other boy in Utah takes). I absolutely love Utah and would never leave, so the Jazz will feel complete security with my desires to stay even after I’ve become a star. I will be a fan favorite as well since I’m truly local (unlike adopted Utah son Rafael Araujo). Also, Mr. Miller could make a reality series out of my experience and put it on KJZZ. It will draw monster ratings! B) I will fulfill Larry Bird’s request to have more star white players in the league. Why? Well, because I’m white! C) I am an exciting player. I will be the second coming of Charles Barkley. Not in the “I’m a big jerk who doesn’t practice” type of way, but in the “I am a very fan interactive player” type of way. One who will be willing to stick around to sign autographs and give plenty of time to the media (you specifically Mr. Buckley). In fact, I already have a cool nickname, “The Balltrain.” I’ve had it for years. Just imagine Hot Rod on the broadcast, “The Balltrain hipity-hops left, drives in baseline side, pulls up for the leap ‘n leaner…good! The Balltrain hits again.” D)Last but not least, I’m a family man. I’m already married (like all other 22 year old boys in Utah) so Jerry, Larry, and Kevin won’t have to worry about me out partying all night.
4-Work Ethic. Brad Rock recently said Karl Malone’s work ethic was questioned when drafted. Can anyone question mine? Given time (read 3 years) I will truly become a productive NBA player.
Please advise Mr. O’Connor of my intention. He can contact me anytime by email: balltrain@hotmail.com. Or by phone (I’m in the book.) Thank you for your consideration. Brandon Ball

Honestly, just rereading that I realized we used the 14th pick on Kris Humphries (barely still in the NBA and definitely a waste for the Jazz), the 16th pick on Kirk Snyder (a HUGE waste for the Jazz and is now in prison) and the 21st pick on Pavel Podkolzine who they immediately traded to the Mavs and who never played in the NBA (he was like 7'6" but I watched him in summer league that year and he was arguably the most uncoordinated person I've ever seen). You can't tell me a certain Balltrain wouldn't have panned out at least on par with these guys? Just food for thought when the draft comes up this year!

Now THAT is cool!

2010-02-06T17:17:00.001-08:00

What is the coolest thing you've ever done in your life? Not something that is necessarily imperative to life fulfillment (such as getting married, kids, college, etc.) but just flat-out "I did that!" A couple weeks ago at a client a I was talking to a guy who told me back in November he ran a marathon in Greece. I thought to myself, "That is cool! He will remember that for the rest of his life that he did that!" So obviously I started thinking about my own list of cool things and have had occasion to ask other people the same thing. Every time I think about it I have different reactions: sometimes I think I'm a huge loser who hasn't done anything cool in my life and other times I'm energized by the thought that I should DO something cool. Again, this doesn't necessarily have to do with life-fulfillment or anything, just "That is cool!" Here's my list at this point in life, maybe you can understand what's going through my head as I think about my list:

1) I have climbed a mountain. Miners Peak above our cabin. I've actually climbed it 2 or 3 times, the first time with my father and uncle Spencer when I was 9/10 age and I can specifically remember a death-defying experience as we scaled the east ridge. The other times were just up the semi-trail on the north face. Why is this #1? Well, I think it is pretty cool to be able to say "I have stood on top of a mountain". Whenever you're up high like that you can remember the view, and I will always remember what it looks like to stand on top of that mountain. I obviously hope to climb it again with Cannon someday. The downer of this being #1? This was 18 years ago at least! The coolest thing I've done in my life happened when I was 10? I need to find something to do with my life!

2) Rode Ziplines in the jungle of Mexico. I'm hesitant to write vacation adventures as I know Rachel will harp on me "That's why we need to go on vacation!" But this was pretty cool. Extra points for the fact it happened recently and not when I was 10. Cruising through the jungle high in the trees was pretty awesome. If you ever go on a cruise or vacation to Mexico and have the opportunity to do this, it is 100% worth it.

3) Lived in Puerto Rico. Spending an abbreviated summer in Puerto Rico selling security systems was pretty awesome. Enhanced by the fact that I was with a group of my friends, it still stands out just to say I spent some time there. I DO note that getting robbed at gunpoint totally sucked and if I had gone somewhere like Philadelphia to sell systems it would probably rank high on the "Suckiest things I've ever done" list, so the fact that I was in the PR seeing the beach every day made it quite the cool experience. I'm also sure my sweet wife would call it "Dumbest thing you've ever done" :).

4) Went front-row to Britney Spears for free! 2000 "Oops. . . I did it again!" Tour in August ( I actually think it was on my mom's birthday August 18th but not sure). Those that know me know I LOVE Britney Spears especially in my teenage days (My mom even allowed a sweet, extremely modest by Britney today standards, poster in my room!). Anyway, we head downtown just because we had nothing better to do, my buddies start flirting with a roadie and she ends up giving us VIP passes! Awesome. I note I didn't do anything to help the flirting along as in this particular scenario I had been to Lake Powell with the Hulls the week before and slammed my face on a rock and had totally jacked up my face so I was nothing to look at (and that trend continues. . . ).

5) I have hit a grand-slam! This actually might rank a little higher than 5th but I'll leave it here for now. Also from the early youth: I'm 12 years old and it's my last year in the Sandy league as we have already moved out to South Jordan. As far as baseball goes, I couldn't throw worth a crap but I was a pretty good hitter. I was on the Sandy All-Star team and we were playing out in West Jordan against West Jordan. I had been removed as the cleanup hitter the game before for the coach's son (Mitch Easton or Jackson Cannon. I can't remember who but they were both losers. Needless to say we didn't get along). Anyway, the dude sucked in his game at cleanup so I was put back in as the cleanup hitter. 1st inning, all first 3 hitters get on base. I head up to the plate and the Mitch/Jackson combo start yapping about how I'm going to suck it up (I'm their freaking teammate for crying out loud!) How do I respond? I stroke a sweet line-drive homerun that was still climbing as it got to the fence and nailed the side of a car after it came down. BOOM! Grand Slam! A lot of other stuff happened in this game and I even hit a second home run. . . but we lost the freaking game. I'm sure it was something to do with Mitch Easton and Jackson Cannon :). Oh well, it is definitely pretty cool to be able to say that I've hit a Grand Slam.

Not sure if anything on that list is "Ran a Marathon in Greece" cool but I'm building! I do have a life-goal to run a marathon someday, maybe it could crack my top 5.

bball's super-awesome 2009 year in review (1 month in to 2010!)!

2010-01-31T10:19:00.000-08:00

Wow what a year and it's already 1 month behind me. I kind of suck at writing this on time but so much happens right around new years (when I would ideally write it) and next thing I know I'm working 'til 10 every night of the week and on Saturdays and suddenly it's the end of January already! Time flies, period (since I'm not necessarily having fun right now). I also want to make a note of how perpective changes every day as I have started multiple drafts of this but haven't finished any of them and each time I start one I write about completely different things. I'm also writing about mostly my memories (obviously mostly work-related) as pretty much all family-related memories have been well-documented by my super-wife Rachel. My 2009 year in review as remembered on January 31, 2010.

Flash back one year to January 2009. History is made as the first black President of the United States is sworn in. I remember I was at BMW Bank up on Parley's Way by Foothill working on an audit and basically the whole company shut down for an hour to cram around a tv in the break room to watch the inauguration. In retrospect it was definitely a historical event, yet I can also say in retrospect the only "change I can believe in" that I've seen in this first year of his run is a giant change in the national debt and a change in how we treat crooked CEO's of big-time companies that screw over their investors. . . we now reward them with federal tax money! Alas, I digress.

February 2010 had to be one of the worst (or best) eating-months of my entire life. Working on the IHC audit we were so slammed that we went out to eat for lunch and dinner virtually every day for the entire month. Combine that with the abundant supply of snacks and extra treats that always seem to show up around Valentine's Day and it was pretty crazy. I don't doubt that I put on a few extra pounds in this month. I distinctly remember (with the help of my blog of course) going to Sizzler with Rachel at the end of that week and laughing about how I "took it easy" with only a few plates of all-you-can-eat shrimp.

March I worked on Mrs. Fields Cookies (as I'm now entrenched in IHC it was probably the last time). I liked the team there and I especially liked working close to Rachel's work where I would frequently meet up with her for lunch. La Puente and Pistol Pete's were definitely our two favorite lunch spots. La Puente has become one of our favorite restaurants overall; you just can't beat the smothered burritos or the flaming-hot salsa. With the exception of Cafe Rio (if you count that) we're basically at the point that we don't even consider anywhere else when we want Mexican food. So good, I'm salivating for it right now just thinking about it.

In April I had an opportunity to take a couple days off and we went to St. George for a weekend. Nothing too spectacular about St. George other than it's a lot warmer than here and it's not "here". I can appreciate the need a couple times a year to just get away from the house for a couple days, even if all you're doing is chillin' by the hotel pool most the day, which is exactly what we did. It was Cannon's first real experience in a pool and he really liked it so it was worth taking him down there.

In May I worked on Sweet Candy Company and spent a couple weeks in Washington State again. Nothing too spectacular this month with the exception that I did realize the awesomeness of books on tape in this month! I sometimes drive to Washington, which is 10-11 hours; when a CD is only 40 minutes or so, you cruise through a ton of music in that time. But with a book on tape it takes 8-9 hours to get through the whole book so it kind of progresses with you throughout the trip. This might not make sense unless you've made a long drive alone but there is a difference between thinking "holy crap it seems like I've listened to every album I own!" and tearing through one book on a long drive. While the time is the same the trip has a different feel. I generally drive once a month when I'm working out of town and I started to look forward to the drives when I had found a couple good books at the library.

June was one of the worst month's I've had in my job. I don't mind working 'til 11 when it's January-cold and dark at 5, not a ton of activities going on-but I definitely mind when it's June- warm and light 'til 9, plenty of outside activities with the fam to go do. That is obviously the breaks of my current job and I choose to do what I do but I am allowed to whine a bit here and there right?

I took the first two weeks of July off prior to my annual travel-thon. We had plenty of fun activities and we also started on Rachel's favorite activity ever. . .finishing the basement! Well, we decided to start and bought a ton of materials but we really didn't get up and going for a few months after that. Nevertheless it is interesting now to think back about what the basement looked like before we started the process. The process kind of reminds me of an artist's work who take make something out of nothing. The basement was a big open space that could be made into anything and will now forever be finished according to our design. It's far from finished at this point, but it is completely framed so you can see the dimensions of the rooms, etc. which I think is pretty cool.

My other memory of my time off in July is we went up to the cabin and I took Cannon on his first ever zip line ride. Rachel and I were both thinking he would freak out but he loved it. There is something about that zip line that I would think is special to any Ball-child and probably to anybody who's ever had a ride on it. There is something singular to the thrill of being up in the mountains and riding that thing that is unmatched.

In between trips to Washington in August we also went on a sweet cruise with some friends! Rachel posted all about it on her blog but some key things I remember: 1) I weighed in at 245 lbs heading into the cruise, knowing I had to keep it under 250 to ride the ziplines 2) I came home at 260 lbs and haven't dropped since and I'm pretty sure I was over the 250 point by the 5th day of the cruise when we rode the zip lines. Oops!. (Sidenote: I'm in a weightloss competition at work and am down 5 lbs so far. I know I have like 85 more to go but needless to say my February '10 won't be like February '09 as the managers cut off the sweet treat supply). 3) After the evening entertainment was over late Rachel and I would head up to the top deck and watch the ocean and chat for an hour or so nearly every night, which we don't get the opportunity to do nearly enough, 3) the realization that we are old loser-adults: the group of us head up to the hot-tubs on the top deck late one night and get into a tub that has tons of teenagers in it. They all IMMEDIATELY get up and leave. Wow, we're that intimidating huh? We sit and chat for a while and during the course of our time there a couple teenage girls and a few teenage guys come get in but just sit there and don't say a word. I didn't notice anything until the second we got out they start talking to each other and all of us realize they were scared to talk in front of us! That was a sobering moment knowing that you're definitely too old to relate to the young crowd anymore. In my mind I'm eternally 22-24 age but when I see someone that age or younger I realize I am definitely NOT. Oh well, the cruise was a blast and a needed break for Rachel and I; however, we were definitely missing Cannon by the time we got back. We had a 3-state bonanza the day we got back: Fly from CA to UT in the morning, unpack cruise stuff and pack work stuff, and fly from UT to WA in the evening for me while Rachel drove up to Idaho to pick up Cannon.

September! Month where dreams come true! Really it's just my birthday month so you have to say it's awesome, right? September started off with a bang as my beloved BYU Cougars went to Texas to play Oklahoma in the new Cowboys Stadium and beat then-No.3 Oklahoma. I dinstinctly remember shouting after the winning touchdown "This is the greatest day in my life!" as I shook Cannon up in the air. My friend Britton made the comment "As he is holding his son in his hands!". High comedy. Sadly they got their butts kicked, at home no less, by a mediocre Florida State team two weeks later and fell out of the national championship discussion just as fast as they got in it. There is honestly nothing better than the feel of football in the air. We even went to a high school game up in Idaho with Rachel's family when we were up there visiting. That is what September is all about, being excited for football, which I am every year.

October was a death stretch for me as I had been away from home every week since the middle of July (including the cruise I know but that was still away from home!). I even spent a weekend up in Washington in October to finish my job and had a 14 day stretch of working every day, usually past midnight. The job I'm on during that stretch isn't a bad job, it's just when you don't go home at night to your own home you can't get little things done around the house so those all build up for the weekend, which makes the weekends a mess as well. I did get home eventually and my good memory from October is Cannon being a cowboy for Halloween. We took him around for the first time and he got boatloads of candy that we still have today. He did pretty good on asking trick-or-treat but the real fun is seeing how excited he got for the candy from every house. Funny how important these things are as you become a parent in life.

November was a blur but I will note the best day of November 2009, the 21st. My buddy Jared Selman called me the night before and offered Rachel and I to go to the BYU-Utah game. I have never been live before so it was awesome. Hall to George in OT and Hall's "I Hate Utah" press conference afterwards are immortalized and will forever hold a special place in my heart. Hall notched himself up a level in the BYU QB pantheon in my mind and backed it up the next month with a thrashing of Oregon State in the LV Bowl. Rachel also found out she was pregnant in November! We are both excited and grateful for an addition to our family! I think a lot about how weird it is to have this concept of another person in your family and how it just doesn't resonate until it's actually real. I can't picture Cannon being anything other than what he is but you have no idea before they are born. Same for this baby so we're excited for the adventure.

In December I took the final two weeks off over Christmas-New Years. That is a great time to be home and not worry about anything but family so I was happy I could be home for that stretch. Rachel's dad took off the second week and we framed the entire basement that week. OK, I didn't help that much other than passing him the hammer and cutting some boards, as I know how anti-handy I am; but I have learned a lot working in the basement and would feel at least something other than terrified if faced with the project again.

2009 ended kind of where it began, with a bunch of our friends at the Gehrke's house (this year just their house not at Bear Lake). Kind of funny that the more things change, the more they stay the same, which is not a bad thing at all.

The "In-N-Out" Experience

2009-12-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

I can think of only one other restaurant besides In-N-Out Burgers that wows me every time I go there, Cafe Rio. In both cases it's not necessarily because of the food (but it obviously MUST be because of the food), but rather the crowd at the restaurant.

Rachel told me Thursday night she wanted to go to In-N-Out for dinner Friday; I said "OK!" (when would I ever refuse a burger?). So we had some errands to run out by Draper Friday night so we head out to the Draper restaurant. BIG mistake. I had heard that the lines weren't that bad but the second I pulled up I knew it was a no-go. The line for inside was out the door and the drive through was wrapped into the street and back about 50 cars. I told Rachel there is no way it was happening as Cannon would obviously not do well sitting in the cold for 15 minutes before even getting inside the door. We hit up Costco dinner with plans for In-N-Out another day.

So this morning we leave Cannon with Grandma and head over to Jordan Landing for some more Christmas shopping. It is barely past 10:30 in the morning as we pull up by In-N-Out. We can see that it's open because inside the tables are already full and the drive through already has a line. It is 10:30 in the morning on a Saturday! People are barely waking up at this hour and they're ready to shove a burger and fries down their gullet?

Let me preface by saying that not 5 minutes earlier I had stopped at a gas station and filled up a 32 oz. soda and eaten a giant cream-filled triangle donut (LOVE Dunford!), but we knew if we were going to eat In-N-Out anytime within the next six months or so, this was the opportunity! In we go at 10:45 am to a filled fast-food restaurant. The line wasn't very long but the seats were all filled. We ordered our food and enjoyed a great burger-brunch.

The thing that is so amazing about In-N-Out and Cafe Rio is I get the feeling every time I eat at one of these places that the only limit to their profits is "How fast can you flip a burger or make a burrito?" That is impressive. From open 'til close for who knows how long In-N-Out will have monster lines of people dying to have their burgers. I still remember my first time going to one in California and thinking "THIS is their menu? How do they do so well? Where's the bacon? Where's the pastrami? The chicken options?" etc. Well, they make good food and people respond to good food, especially hamburgers and burritos, the staples of the American diet (at least my diet).

I have previously claimed 5 Guys to be the best burger in the state of Utah. After this morning I want to restate my opinion a tad. While I still hold strong that 5 Guys is the absolute best burger I will concede that In-N-Out may be the best burger "for the money". It is certainly much cheaper as a double cheese combo is $5.50 where the same thing would probably net over $10 at 5 Guys. I also want to note that the Apollo/Crown/Whatever pastrami is still in my top-level pantheon of great burgers as well. There is just something about a great burger combo that puts you in a good mood, right? Count me happy for the day!

"I Hate Utah"

2009-11-29T14:42:00.000-08:00

Well, Max Hall knew in the end he wasn't going to be elevated to "Detmer" type status in the annals of BYU QB history by his work on the field because his team didn't win the conference his final two years (I think fans can forgive the BCS to an extent but you do have to win the conference to get elevated to "elite" status). So instead he did what he had to do to elevate himself into some type of pantheon; the pantheon of great quotes to follow the rivalry game. "I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, I hate their fans, I hate everything" and on and on.

I head this interview live on KSL as we were driving home from the game. The first thing out of my mouth as he said it? "YES! I now LOVE Max Hall! Way to bring it strong!" Hall absolutely raised his stock in my personal rankings of BYU QB's with that quote alone. If for nothing else he didn't serve up the traditional soft-serve answer complimenting the Utes team or some garbage like that. I'm so sick and tired of hearing players give the politically correct answer every time (and especially Bronco-coached BYU players) that it was absolutely refreshing and exciting to hear a player speak his mind for once. Yes, you could hear the excitement in the reporter's voices too as they knew Hall just launched a good two weeks worth of talk radio discussion for them. Patrick Kinahan basically shouted "Hooray!" when Hall said it because he knew his ratings for Monday's show will be through the roof.

Every paper and media outlet this morning is calling his remarks "classless". That is total garbage especially considering how much they love to latch on to it. It is headline city! Why would you hate those remarks? If it was coming from Stevenson Sylvester after a Utah win would you think he was classless? No! He probably hates the Cougs as much as Hall hates the Utes. Hall is no idiot and had to know as the words passed out of his mouth that he was launching a firestorm, and he didn't care and said it anyways. My reaction to that? Awesome.

Oh yeah, and I hate the dirty Utes too. :)

So as for the game. This was my first-ever live BYU-Utah game. Thanks to my buddy Jared Selman who called me Friday with tickets for Rachel and me. I had been told before that this game is more intense than any other and especially more intense live than TV can show. All I can say is that is absolutely TRUE! You could cut the intensity with a knife even before the game started and all the way through. We had Utes sitting next to us (who were cool by the way, but nevertheless I was extremely disappointed in how many Ute fans were in the stands which is purely a reflection of crappy cougar fans who sold out their tickets) and even though they were nice I just wanted to SCREAM at them after every single play. We stood the entire game and I've never cheered like that before for any game. We were in the North endzone right where Andrew George had the game winning TD catch and the feeling was as euphoric as I've ever felt. I will say I was IRATE at the coaching staff for the poor game management especially even settling for overtime when they could have had the ball back with over a minute to play and 2 timeouts if they would've played the game right, but I digress. All's well that end's well right? And on this night, and for the next year, the Cougs are on top! BOOM!

Apologies to Marriott

2009-11-03T06:57:00.001-08:00

So when I travel for my 4 months of the year I stay the majority of the time in a Marriott Courtyard up in Washington. My coworkers know that I have been absolutely ROASTING this hotel all summer long mostly because they lost a couple important items of mine.

Back in May during one of my first stretches of staying, I left my set of P90X DVDs at the hotel. I called back as soon as I realized they were gone and asked if they turned up in the lost and found. Of course, they didn't. I would have expected a phone charger or computer cable of course but once something of actual value (these DVD's cost about $150) it mysteriously "was not found' by the cleaning people. I have been so upset about it all summer I have constantly bad mouthed Marriott.

Then, on my second to last week of staying in October I left my set of retainers that I wear at night while I sleep (value of $200 or so). This time I was gone for all of 2 nights before I came back to check in. I promptly asked for them and of course they didn't find them. I figured in this case, while they were valuable items, the cleaning people probably just saw a plastic case and threw it away. Nevertheless, I was even more infuriated as this was the second valuable item lost this year.

Yes, some of this is my own fault; I can't be forgetting things in my hotel room. I could've sworn in both cases I hadn't. Especially in the case of the retainers; once I had lost the DVD's I did a 3-times over clean sweep of my room every time I checked out. But alas, they were both gone forever. (You already know where this is going, right?)

So on Sunday night I go to put my "Sunday nap" blanket back under the bed and it gets jammed and won't go in all the way. I have to get down to see what it is. There is an old shoe box deep under the bed that has stopped the blanket. I grab the shoe box to pull it out and can feel that it has stuff inside of it. "What did I ever put in a shoe box under the bed?" I pull it out and open it and to my astonishment my DVD's are sitting in the box! Buried in the box are various other items that no doubt Cannon had gathered up and stored in this little treasure chest. The DVDs had endured their 5-month burial in prime condition. I took them out and flashed them to Rachel; she too was surprised and we both started chiding Cannon for losing our things!

I immediately knew that if the DVDs were home, so were my retainers. "Where are my retainers!" I started screaming at him. I asked him that same question over and over the rest of Sunday night and as soon as I got home yesterday. He must have got the message; Rachel walked in his room after I had been home for about an hour last night and my retainers, with my little case, were sitting on the floor in the middle of his bedroom. He must have fished them out from his secret hiding spot and left them there for mom and dad to find.

Dang kids. I can't believe it. I was literally on the verge of writing Marriott a letter berating them for their poor service because it was on my mind so often. I guess now I should write them a letter of apology.

The Ultimate Cheapskate!

2009-10-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

Am I the Ultimate Cheapskate? I'm confident my wife and other family members would confirm that "yes" I am the ultimate cheapskate according to them. In fact, I would bet most people that know me would feel comfortable labeling me the cheapest person they know. I don't know whether to be proud of that or not.

On my drive up to Washington last week I listened to a book on CD "The Ultimate Cheapskate's Roadmap to True Riches" by Jeff Yeager, dubbed "The Ultimate Cheapskate" by Matt Lauer on the Today Show. I guess he appears on the show all the time to offer his "cheapskate-isms". Obviously I have some inclination of "cheapness" if I'm even picking this up to listen to it in the first place.

So what makes me a cheapskate? The fact that I drive a '99 Civic that has Sharpie scribbled all over the car (thanks to my sweet son!)? It's got 185K miles on it and I hope to eventually hit 300K! Is it the fact that I don't spend a ton of money on clothes? I am admittedly a poor dresser who even after 2 years of working in a business environment is uncomfortable all day every day in business clothes and can't wait to get into a t-shirt and jeans the second I can. That will definitely be a consideration for future jobs. Is it the fact that I save up to purchase things with cash, do research on the product to find out what a true competitive price is, and wait it out until it goes on sale to get it? Nothing (and literally I mean nothing) makes me laugh harder in life than people telling me they got a "deal" on whatever it is they purchased. 99.9% of the time I know they got the same "deal" that every other schmuck in the world could get. Usually it's because they "knew a guy" or something like that. I first noticed it back in the early post-mission days when the whole world was getting engaged (this is primarily BYU students I was dealing with). When asking a dude about a ring, it was "I got a sweet hookup because I knew a guy". Nobody ever responds "I got totally raped on the deal". This sense of "getting a deal" has proliferated amongst any and every purchase possible from a whole slew of people. The sense of getting a "deal" usually results in people making stupid purchases for things they either don't need or are far out of their price range for what they are looking for but they buy it anyways. Is that what makes me a cheapskate? (Yes, indeed that was quite a rant).

Well folks, upon reading above said cheapskate book, I am here to proclaim that it could be MUCH, MUCH WORSE! Allow me to identify some items that make me a non-cheapskate! I own and use a cell-phone, something abhorred by a true "Ultimate Cheapskate"; I pay for TV services (currently Direct TV, which completely sucks by the way and I will be cancelling the DAY my contract is up to turn promptly back to Comcast and never go back, but that's another story); I go on vacations without staying in Hostels. An entire chapter is dedicated to traveling cheap, which I realized I do not do. While I would consider a stay in a Hostel for the experience I have already received confirmation from my wife that it is not an option. I don't buy food on the "less than $1 per pound" method although I do think it's ingenious and may try it out sometime. In fact, I spend quite a lot of money at restaurants, something I enjoy doing with my wife, and something definitely not cheapskate-style.

One thing I did like that may make me a cheapskate is the approach to life of setting a certain goal of income to live on and being comfortable with. Now, the real "Ultimate Cheapskate"'s life goal was to make $40K a year and he'd be comfortable, and is comfortable, with that amount the rest of his life. While my goal is slightly higher, I do think it's wise to learn to live within your means and set a reasonable, achievable "target" income level at which you could live comfortably for the rest of your life. All increases beyond that point would lead to increased investing, savings, etc. The Ultimate Cheapskate points out, and I agree, that too often people increase their expenses dollar-for-dollar, or even beyond, when they experience increases in their income. "I just got a raise! That means I should spend ALL the extra money on a bigger house, car, toy, etc.!" Not the case for Mr. Ball, even if it is to the aversion of Mrs. Ball.

So what is the truth? Well, I may be the cheapest person you know, but thanks to reading this book, and even though I don't know Jeff Yeager personally, I can feel confident saying I'm not the cheapest person I know. And that's good enough for me!

The Lesson of Mexico

2009-08-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

So we went on a sweet cruise a week ago with a couple of friends. Relaxing week. Enjoyed copious amounts of food and sleep (Ok, I enjoy copious amounts of food all the time anyways, but sleep is usually harder to come by). Got a touch of sunshine, and just enjoyed being away from it all for a week.

I've been to Mexico a couple different times but I've never been deep into Mexico. This cruise took us to Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. I anticipated being able to bargain with the locals for cheap trinkets and I was correct; at all three stops there was plenty of opportunity to waste your money on cheap crap; however, I did anticipate purchasing a fake Rolex watch.

My dad bought a fake Rolex for $30 back in '91 or so. He bragged about it all the time and loved it; so I of course thought to myself how I would buy my own fake Rolex on the cheap and think it was so great. I took plenty of cash to shell out whatever was the negotiated price. I figured there had to be some inflation to take into account since his purchase was nearly 20 years ago.

I get into Cabo San Lucas (our first stop) and nobody has any watches. I finally ask somebody about it and he pulls out a huge box from underneath his table like I'm asking for drugs or something. His asking price? $150. The watch he showed me looked sweet. The one I liked the most was a red Rolex with a Coca-cola symbol on it too. But $150 was way out of my range. I was thinking the starting point was going to be around $80-100. I didn't even bother bargaining with him. On the way back to the boat, though, I discussed with my friend and was confident that if I flashed him $80 cash he would give in. Still, I can get a decent, American guaranteed watch for $80. I didn't go back.

Fast forward to Mazatlan (stop number 2). Right off the boat there is a huge Mexican market and I find a table with plenty of watches to choose from. Her initial asking price? $75! What a deal! I almost shelled out $80 yesterday in hopes of negotiating him down from $150 but this girl is STARTING at half of yesterday's price! I talk her down to $55. In my mind I'm thinking 2 things: 1) No matter what I'm getting a screaming deal compared to what I was looking at yesterday, 2) $55 today has to compare favorably to $30 20 years ago if I adjust for inflation. So no matter what I'm getting a sweet deal, right?

I'm down to two different watches, basically deciding on the type of face I want. One is a bright silver face and the other a white face. I waver and waver and finally settle on the white face. I hand over the cash and slip on the watch. No adjustment to the watchband needed as it fits perfectly. It must have been fate.

I am so excited about my watch I flash it around to my wife and friends the rest of the day. I keep telling my wife all day and through the next how stoked I am to have a fake Rolex just like my dad had all those years ago. Honestly, this thing is good looking and I must say I'm good looking wearing it!

Flash forward to Puerto Vallarta (last stop). I don't need to look at watches here because I already have the sweetest watch ever made! We buy some other random trinkets and happily get back on the ship for two more days at sea. As we pull out that night, I wave goodbye to Mexican soil.

That night we go with our friends to a game show-type event on the cruise ship. The entire crowd is split into teams to do whatever is asked. The host asks for a watch. I quickly slip off my watch and toss it down to the front (a couple of rows only and the guy caught it). Another watch was already submitted so he tosses it back up to me. I put it back on, no problem. I check the time and it's 11:15. Wait a minute. . . it feels like it's been 11:15 forever.

Oh. . . S. . . H. . . I . . . T . . . !. . . ! . . . !

(I apologize for the lettering above but surely all who know me know I cussed anyway so I'm just trying to do justice to my feelings at the moment).

The second hand is NOT moving. The watch has stopped. Surely I just haven't been moving my hand around enough for the self-winding mechanism to kick in, right? I shake the stupid thing like crazy and can hear it attempting to wind, but no tick (or roll in the case of this "nice" knockoff Rolex-more on why it's "nice" later).

So I bought the watch in Mazatlan and basically 1 day later the thing breaks. I obviously can't go back so I just have to sit and stew in my misery the next two days at sea. I spend the next two days with the watch constantly trying to wind it, shake, it, do whatever I can think of to get it to work. My wife and my friends just laugh the whole time.

So this past week Rachel is so kind and takes it to the jewelry repair store to get it fixed. The estimate to fix it? $150! $70 for the part and $80 for the labor. . . because it's such a "nice" knockoff it's hard to take it apart and the part that broke is basically the most expensive part of the watch, and obviously the part that makes the watch go. "It's a real shame" the repairman tells my wife, "this is one of the nicest knockoffs I've ever seen." Rachel calls and tells me the bad news. She even tells me I can pay to get it fixed if I really want to but it better get REAL Rolex treatment from that point on. I'm not an idiot, the dream is dead.

$55 down the drain, what a waste. I don't even think the girl that sold me the watch knew it was a lemon, I think I just happened to pick the "one" that was ready to die. Well, at least I keep telling myself that. And by convincing myself of that, I have obviously not learned the lesson of Mexico.

Lamborghini

2009-08-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have been labeled the "world's cheapest man" who couldn't care less about luxury items or even need items such as clothes, food, etc. :) But even a cheapskate like me can appreciate a Lamborghini. I'm pretty sure EVERYBODY thinks Lamborghini's are freaking awesome; so this past weekend was a pretty fun random experience.

We went to Bear Lake for the weekend for Rachel's family reunion. On the drive home Sunday morning from Bear Lake to Logan is about a 40 mile winding canyon (aka Logan Canyon). It takes about an hour to get through because of the steep grades and turns. Right as I come over the summit from Bear Lake to start heading down the canyon I see coming up the road a freaking Lamborghini! It is hauling up the canyon road with ease and eventually ZOOMS! by me. (Yes, it made that ZOOM! sound as it passed as they all do. My Civic just doesn't do that). Funny thing was, I couldn't even see until it was right upon me but there was a second Lamborghini right behind it! The exact same car! Obviously they were together and must have been headed somewhere. I figured they probably even had the same owner because it's freaking rare to see 1 Lamborghini on a random road in the middle of nowhere, let alone two.

So I was now in a good mood, I just saw an awesome car ZOOM! (yes, once again the ZOOM! factor) by me and ended up getting two for the price of one. Next thing I know I see ANOTHER one coming up the road. What is this? 3 in one day on the same road!?!? Something is up but I am pumped! The weird thing is they were all the exact same car. Clearly different years and different colors, but from what I could see they were the exact same model of Lamborghini.

So I'm five minutes into my drive down the canyon and I've seen 3 Lamborhinis, which is more than I've probably seen live in my lifetime to this point. I get to the next turn and 4 in a row come screaming around the corner. These things are hauling in the opposite direction and I feel like I'm front row to a NASCAR-type race as they zoom by, only it's NASCAR Lamborghini style. It is incredible to see them blow by as they haul up the canyon with ease.

Well suddenly I'm up to 7 and now I'm just expecting it. . . and the goods just kept on coming. Pretty much every turn the whole way down the canyon we saw another, and another, then a couple at a time, then a few at a time. All in all we saw 31 Lamborghini's while in the canyon, and every one of them was probably worth more than my life.

Obviously they were all headed up somewhere together; since they were going the opposite direction and Lamborghini's don't have license plates on the front I didn't see the plates for any of them, but if I had to take a guess I wouldn't have guessed there were even 30 owners of these cars in Utah! Maybe Ferrari, Lotus, Mazerati, etc. all combined, but not the exact same car. Whatever it was, I'm pretty sure I'll never be on a random back road in Utah again and see a few million dollars worth of sweet cars pass me by like that. It made for a good drive home.

The Tipping Point

2009-06-25T18:04:00.001-07:00

Yet another awesome book by Malcolm Gladwell! This guy is truly a great writer of today. I'm just upset I hadn't discovered him sooner. The second I finished up this book I started "Blink" so expect that review soon.

Ever wonder how some things blow up huge and others don't? Gladwell compares the spread of something (be it a product, a disease, crime rates, etc.) to a virus spreading. How does it happen? Well the bottom line is word of mouth, with a message that "sticks", through those who are 1) connected and/or 2) in the know. Truly amazing connections that make you think differently about who and what you know.

The biggest lesson I learned from this book is that often it is the little things that matter and can affect change more than the big, looming issues. Frequently we overlook seemingly unimportant, detail issues that in reality can help overhaul the big picture and bring about the positive change you desire. The example from the book was the dramatic drop in crime in New York City during the 90's, which was a result of small changes rather than big ones.

I love these books by Malcolm Gladwell because he does so much research on all of the example stories. I love that all the examples and case studies are true stories so they are relevant to real life. He has a terrific, captivating writing style that not only makes you on one hand want to stop and think deeper about the issue you just read and on the other hand keep reading to see what could come next. Yet another strong recommendation for this book.

Of Dallas and Hotels

2009-06-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

While I've been to the DFW airport a number of times, I have never spent any time in Texas other than an airport stop. I'm in Dallas all this week for some work training and I've got to see quite a bit of downtown Dallas.

Texas is hot and humid. I would say it feels like you see a bar on every corner much like you see a church on every block in Utah. A dissapointing note is that the restauarants (mostly sports bars) are pricey and disappointing. The food at the sports bars I ate at was tasty but I still felt it was quite overpriced (and I wasn't eating at elite places). I didn't even end up going to a Mexican restaurant (something I was excited to try) because I heard way too many bad reviews the past few days from those who had (overpriced and not that good). Oh well. Texas does have a lot going for it. The number 1 I would like to say is the presence of Diet Dr. Pepper! Every restaurant I've eaten at has had it in the fountain, and the hotel has it as part of their soda lineup during our training conference here. As Diet Dr. Pepper is my number 1 soda of choice I have to give this a big thumbs up.

Second, I really love the big city feel. I feel like I could easily live in a big city and enjoy it. Probably not ideal for little kids running around but for adults with no children it definitely has upside. This is really the first really big city I've ever spent time in and I really enjoy checking out the different designs of the sky scrapers. There are some really cool buildings down here which is another plus from my point of view. I wish Salt Lake City would add some more tall buildings to their skyline.

So overall I really like the city and have enjoyed Texas. I do have a complaint about the Sheraton I'm staying at down town. Not only the Sheraton, but all big time nice hotels. They suck! The room is not any nicer than what you get at the Fairfield or Holiday Inn and you end up getting a lot less! At a cheaper hotel you get free breakfast, free internet, and a decent lineup of channels on your tv. Everything here at the Sheraton and other high-end hotels is a la carte. No internet, breakfast, even their "gym" is a total joke for a hotel of this size (we were able to get them to give us guest passes to a 24-hr fitness down the street so I'll give them that). But in any case, I realize these huge hotels are needed to handle big conferences like what I'm attending (roughly 300 people for a whole week), but one thing I can say I've learned from all my travel is that for personal travel the only thing you're getting from these big time hotels is a larger bill and not much else. . . and probably less (honestly I'm pretty much getting less than basic cable from a tv that doesn't even work that well). Stay at the Holiday Inn, the Fairfield, The Residence or any other mid-range hotel and you'll get much more for your money.

One last thing about Dallas is I wish Salt Lake had more sports teams. Everybody knows how much I love the Jazz. I can only imagine how great it would be to have an NFL team. The Cowboys are huge down here and it makes me wish we had a pro football team like that. The NFL is truly king as the Mavs, Rangers, and Stars (NHL) are clearly a step down on the priority scale for this city.

CPA! (AKA Most boring post ever)

2009-06-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

So today in the mail I finally received the little slip of paper from the state department of occupational licensing that says I am officially a CPA! Pretty exciting for a nerd like myself I know. Most people probably are thinking, "Holy crap! You've been graduated and working in accounting for a year and half now! I thought you were already a CPA! You suck for taking so long!" Well, it actually takes a while including passing all the tests and you have to get a certain amount of work experience before everything is complete. So now it's all complete and basically the big thing I get out of it is to shoulder more blame if something goes wrong with a job I'm working on :).

I can say with full certainty that being a CPA just means you spend your life working. For some reason in college there is this big myth that your job basically entails golfing a ton and wooing clients. I'm pretty sure I golfed a grand total of 3 times last year and I haven't even thought about taking them out of the garage once so far this year. What I DO do without myth is spend 15 hours a day sitting in a chair in some back-corner conference room or cubicle. Combine that with my sweet eating habits (pretty much every meal is take out since we're too busy working) and you have yourself one fat brandon! That should be my new nickname. . . fat brandon! It has a ring to it.

This sounds like a gripe session, but I actually like what I do. Not necesarily how much I do it, but I do learn a lot of interesting things and deal with interesting situations (and people for that matter). I've already been to a ton of different businesses in this state and others and seen various types of business operations that I wouldn't see elsewhere. The sad part is, as I see myself learning more about accounting I also see myself digging deeper and deeper into the "ultra-nerd" pit that I've basically already lived in my whole life. These things that I find interesting put the world to sleep (and certainly my wife :)).

Fat Brandon, CPA. It has a ring to it, right?

Going Back On Your Word Without Seemingly Losing Positive PR

2009-05-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

So you want to run a huge marketing stunt to get big publicity. . . positive publicity. This new product is really going to change things around. . . even though it's the exact same product you've been selling for years.

You start adverstising the product. It's new, it's great, (it's exactly the same as the product we've been selling for years!). But wait! You have a special offer! Something never thought of before! A discounted price!

So you need to make a bigger splash to get the customers to come in droves (to buy the exact same product you've been selling for years). You go on the the biggest show on tv (market your product on this show and the success is guaranteed!)

So you go on the show and offer your product for free! Lo and behold, the customers come in droves. Suddenly you're thinking, "Oh suck! We're giving away way too much of our product! What were we thinking?! We can't be giving away this much product for free." Truly, I agree. I go to the store and see a boatload of people loading up on the free product. Problem is, once they realize it's exactly the same as the old product they realize there's no big reason to come back and pay for it beyond their usual habit of paying for it.

So you're the Company and you're losing boatloads of money and can't figure out what to do to stop the bleeding. What do you do? Offer a raincheck! Make customers jump through outrageous hoops to get the raincheck. Offer "sincere" apologies but the demand is too overwhelming so the free offer is no longer valid. . . for now. Of course, the vast, vast majority that might've taken advantage of the free product will not jump through all the hoops necessary to get the "rain check", and thus you have just cut a huge liability off the books.

Funny, I walked in to KFC tonight and all I could see were posters everywhere about their new "grilled" chicken and bounteous amounts of grilled chicken for Sale! (I also noted a prominent sign about the availability of a raincheck because they couldn't offer it for free like they had promised on Oprah!) The hoops you have to jump through for the raincheck were truly not worth your time for a $4 meal. Thing is, I did go in time to get the free meal a couple weeks ago. . the grilled chicken is exactly the same as their fried chicken! I checked the calorie count tonight and the difference really isn't that big (after all, in the end you're still eating fast food). So the demand is too overwhelming to give away the supply for free but there is bounteous amounts of supply for sale? That doesn't add up! I guess it's probably a good call to cut off the free coupons because I'm pretty sure they wouldn' t recoup those costs with increased sales of grilled chicken (again, because it's exactly the same as fried chicken). Best option is to just cut the sunk costs and reduce the liability of future free meals.

So what's the lesson of the day? Accountants run the world! :) and chicken tastes like chicken.

Outliers

2009-05-06T21:12:00.001-07:00

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell is one of the best books I have EVER read. I hope to emphasize the point by noting that I am a reader: I read a lot of books, so I feel like I can say that with some background in the area of those out there who read for enjoyment. Definitely if you dive into the non-fiction realm, which this book is, it is definitely in the top ten and probably in the top five (I'm hesitant to dub it my #1 as I'm on an emotional high after just finishing it, but it may end up there once I let time pass and more perspective develop).

Let's put it this way, I wasn't even a quarter of the way through this book before I got online and ordered his other two books. Generally when I read I get to the end of a chapter before I think about what I read. I found myself putting the book down temporarily on nearly a page by page basis to think about what I had just read, then was excited to pick it back up and see what came next.

Outliers describes the backgrounds, circumstances, and opportunities of successful people. Not only does it take TONS of work to be a true outlier (which he dubs the 10,000 hour rule-very intriguing and I would think is absolutely true) but you have to be extremely fortunate to be born in the right place, at the right time, and grow up under the right circumstances. Unfortunately, I was NOT born at the right time, nor in the right place, and I have not grown up under the right circumstances to be the next Bill Gates or Beatles or a professional athlete; but applying the points of this book to myself I can easily understand why I'm in the life position I am, to the point I might feel the need for myself to expound upon it at some point.

I've read some critiques saying the book throws out individual accomplishments and basically says all successful individuals are pure luck. I don't agree with that at all. The author clearly notes multiple times that these people are those that took advantages of opportunities, he just points out that those opportunities were very fortunate and circumstantial, down to the timing and location of their birth and upbringing.

Think about it and it makes sense before even reading the book. Does a child who grows up in a two-parent affluent household have a better opportunity to succeed than a child who grows up in a single-parent poor household? Not that one or the other can or can't succeed, just that the opportunities are far greater for the latter. In turn, the "poor" kid still has a much greater opportunity to succeed compared to a child in 3rd-world Africa. It's relative and circumstantial, but it makes sense. The book has MUCH more to say than the simple example I just shelled out.

I like to buy books. I generally don't use the library for whatever reason, mainly that I don't mind buying books because I don't ever think purchasing a book is a waste of money. Reading is never a waste of time or money in my mind. However, I rarely reread the books I buy. I've even recently told Rachel she can start selling the majority of my books because I'm unlikely to ever get back around to reading them again. I enjoy it the first time through and that's usually it. It's not like a movie that only takes a couple hours to get through a second (or sometimes third, fourth, fifth, etc.). The bottom line for Outliers for me is this: I look forward to rereading it before the end of the summer.

Commercials Part 1

2009-05-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

Once again I'm up in Washington and I find myself wathcing copious amounts of tv at night (ok, so not all that different from my normal life). But I have seen too many commercials tonight that have upset me not to write about it; particularly what I am going to dub "the downfall of Arby's".

All that know me know I LOVE commercials. I should have gone in to advertising becuase I'm such a sucker for commercials (can you say sham-wow, p90x, perfect pushup, iron gym, magic bullet, and on and on), but I am especially a sucker for food commercials. If I see a new food product, I want to try it. If I see a good food commercial, I want to go there (and I usually do). In fact, while I'm thinking about it, I'll note that I went to KFC tonight with a coupon for a free "Grilled Chicken" meal. Maybe I was expecting the type of grilled chicken you get on your grilled chicken sandwiches or something but I would've probably rather had fried. And the grilled certainly didn't taste healthy, it tasted just like the fried. . .hmmm. "Unthink KFC?" I think KFC needs to stick to their NAMESAKE and keep it fried. People know when they're getting fastfood level food they are getting unhealthy stuff that ideally tastes really good. Tonight I got something that might have been marginally more healthy but didn't make up for it with extra taste. That's a thumbs down for me. The most upsetting part is these guys are owned under the same umbrella as Taco Bell, and I think Taco Bell routinely puts out clever commercials that make me want to each there.

Anyways, back on topic. I generally like almost all food commercials, because I like food! But I absolutely cannot STAND ANY of the new Arby's "Roast Burger" commercials. Look, I know you're trying to focus on your "non-greasiness" but by focusing on it in your commercials you are making me want to avoid YOU because you are the one I associate it with. Why is Arby's trying to reinvent themselves as a "burger"? Whose idea is this? Stupid stupid stupid! Don't call it a burger! I used to hold Arby's on a "upper-echelon" of fast food if you know what I mean, but they are downgrading themselves to McDonalds/Burger King status by trying to say they are a burger (I know you all know I love McDonalds, and I do, but most put McDonalds at the bottom of the barrel and I am referencing McDonalads according to popular theory, not my specific tastes). Anyways, the commercials suck and make me want to avoid Arby's at all costs. Too bad because their roast beef sandwich and their market sandwiches are pretty good.

One more commercial I keep noticing. This of course has no bearing on my purchasing since I've never purchased this product nor ever will, but I keep getting pissed at these new Budweiser commercials. They focus the whole commercial on how they are the great "American" lager. If they're so American, why are they playing a song by Jet (an AUSTRALIAN band) every commercial? Who hired these adverstising people? Or am I the only moron out there who notices things like this?

Anyways, this is Part 1 because sometime in the future I know I'm going to get riled up about commercials again and write some more. For now. . .

The Shangri-La Diet

2009-04-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

Upon writing my little "review" for Water for Elephants I remembered that I didn't do the same for my sweet diet book: "The Shangri-La Diet". If you haven't heard of this book, you should definitely pick it up. It's probably available to buy on amazon or something like that for around $6-8 total. Not a bad investment for a diet book.

So to answer your question up front, no, I haven't lost any weight and the reason is because I haven't ever followed the diet. My buddy from work lost 30 lbs. on this diet so I picked up the book to see what it had to say. I honestly think it would probably work.

I don't want to write the whole book but this idea is a serious paradigm-shifter for weight-loss. The author compares your weight to the setting of your thermostat. You "set" the thermostat, if it's too hot, the air comes on; if it's to cold, the heat comes on. For weight, you eat more if you're under your "set" point, and less if you're over your "set" point. This totally makes sense to me and I always hover within a few lbs of my current weight (for those dying to know, a "healthy" 240). So he concludes you have to do something to "lower" your set point.

The second point is that Americans particularly have strong flavor-calorie associations: all of our food is strong-tasting and generally loaded with calories. He feels if you consume 200-400 "flavorless" calories a day, you will effectively lower your "set" point because your body will kick in to the "use the fat" mode. You won't feel hungry and as a result will simply eat less.

That's the diet! Eat whatever you want, just drink 200-400 calories a day of flavorless calories (sugar-water or extra light olive oil). The one catch is you have to consume the oil in a 2-hour "flavor free" zone, and brushing your teeth counts as a flavor; otherwise it would be easy to do it right in the morning and wait for another hour before eating anything. I can't seem to find a point in the day where I can drink roughly 3 tbls of extra light olive oil (not including work hours where I always forget to take a little vial of oil to work). Morning? Going to work and brushed my teeth (not an option to skip in my opinion). Night? I eat dinner upon getting home and brush my teeth before bed.

Anyways, if you want to try a diet I think this would seriously work and basically costs nothing. You should lose the "healthy" way: roughly 2-3 lbs per week. Note you can lose as long as you'd like, but if you stop taking the oil you'll eventually slowly creep back up to your old weight. Sounds promising to me. If anybody knows more about it let me know.

Water for Elephants

2009-04-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

Rachel recommended this book to me and the only hesitation I had going in is that I know a number of women who have read this book and liked it and zero men who have read it period. I didn't want to be diving in to some type of "Twilight" females-only love story. Fortunately, this book can be read by both sexes and enjoyed.

Water for Elephants is about a 90-year old man remembering his young days in the depression era working for the circus. I've never really read anything about the circus before so it was actually quite intriguing to think about life as a performer. It made me think what it would be like today working on some type of concert tour. Set up every day, do the show, take down and get on the bus (or train in the book's case) to move on to the next city. The author noted that many of the subplots and events in the books were true stories that have happened on various circus tours, such as an elephant drinking all of the lemonade that was to be sold the the patrons during the show.

Even after reading the book I'm amazed during that time period (or even today for that matter) that so many animals: bears, lions, panthers, giraffes, elephants, etc. could somehow be kept under lock and key and transported all over the country like that. It would take serious trust with the animals to get in some of those cages.

I would recommend this book to anybody who wants an easy, semi-nonthinking read if that makes sense. Most books I usually get about half way through and get so into it that I stay up late finishing the second half in one night. That didn't happen with this book; just an even-keeled, you kind of know what's coming but don't type ride. There are some racy parts for anybody that would want some advanced notice, those parts are pretty minor and probably also true of those times.

Utah's Best Burger

2009-04-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to St. George with Rache-Train and the C-Murder for some much needed sunshine. I was also pleased we went to settle once and for all something brewing in my mind the past few months. . . the best hamburger the state has to offer.

I believe I've tried all the "best" burgers available from the obviously low-end (think major chains like Wendy's, BK, etc.) to "gourmet" burgers (Red Robin, Training Table), to "one-hit wonders" (the garlic burger at the Cotton Bottom), and to those that claim they are the best burger ever (i.e. the Counter-OK but pretty pricey).

Overall the past few years I would probably assign the best burger label to the Crown/Apollo/Astro chain (hereafter referred to simply as Crown) Burger. The pastrami burger is an absolute gut-bomb but it tastes so good going down it is worth any painful consequences. A few months ago at work we tried a new restaurant in town, "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". There are so many positives associated with this burger I can't possibly name them all, but a few include: A) the regular burger is a 1/2 pound double; when you're going in for a big-time burger you might as well go all the way, B) going all the way includes adding Bacon (come on, we all knew Bacon was a major player in my best-burger analysis), C) all toppings are free, and the toppings options go beyond the normal ketchup and pickles. I'm not even a huge toppings guy, but I see this as a plus for others, D) the meat and fries are super fresh, you can taste the freshness in every bite!

Now, I didn't label 5 Guys the best burger in the state the first day I tried it, even though I was highly impressed. It is the days after when you start to realize just how good it is. I couldn't stop thinking about it! I just wanted to go back because all day I kept thinking, "Dang! That burger was freaking good!" And so, of course, I went back. I've been back multiple times since. So good, so fresh, how could this not be the best burger Utah has to offer? (Editor's note: I still think the Crown is dang good and pretty much label it as #1A, but this 5 Guys place just has something to it).

I had one hangup on my final declaration. . . In-And-Out. Too many "Californians" or wannabe Californians always talk about how it is the best burger on the planet. They too emphasize freshness and simplicity in the menu. We all know one is coming to Draper but Utah already features an In-And-Out in St. George. I had forgotten about this until we saw it last Thursday. Of course we had to go for lunch! I had only eaten at In-And-Out once before like 4 years ago. I remember thinking "This is good. I am enjoying my meal and would never be opposed to coming to eat here; however, it is not the best burger I've ever had". Since that one visit was so long ago I was excited to renew my acquaintance with In-And-Out in order to make an educated decision.

In-And-Out was cheaper than I remember, and the fries are definitely top-notch fresh. I would put them on par with 5 Guys for freshness no problem. The burger, however, was good but not "best" category. It was fresh, but a little small (their double cheese is like a McDonald's-size double cheese). I don't know the whole "secret menu" garbage either so that is arguably a downer for me. I thought, "This is exactly like the first time. Great meal, no real complaints at all, just not the best burger I've ever had".

So that settled it for me, 5 Guys offers the best burger you can get in Utah. If somebody has a better place please don't keep me in the dark. If you go try 5 Guys, take notice of not only how good it is the day you eat it, but how bad you want it again the next day (like me right now!).

Pandora!

2009-03-27T20:02:00.001-07:00

If you haven't ever hear of this sweet site, let me introduce you to pandora.com! This is one of the best sites the internet has ever created! A buddy at work introduced it to me about a month ago and I've been listening to it nonstop ever since. Pandora is an internet-radio site where you enter an artist or a song and you "create" a radio station that plays music from that artist or similar artists (based on something called the music-genome project). I don't know how it works but as the various songs play you can definitely agree that they all relate in a general way within each station you create.

So this week on my ever expanding list of created stations I decided to take a trip down memory lane, as in "riding with my mom from ages 4-10 listening to New Mix 107.5" memory lane. My station anchor? None other than the classic Wilson Phillips! It shouldn't be hard for anybody to imagine me belting out "Release Me" or "Hold On" without hesitation. I will say that listening to their songs this time around I've noticed every song has a quasi-bridge-guitar solo that would be described as the antithesis of a "face-melting guitar solo". Seriously, even when Wilson Phillips was at their peak performing to a packed stadium, there's no way during one of these solos the hired professional guitarist was thinking, "I'm shredding the guitar to Wilson Phillips!" Be that as it may, I take them for what they are: a classic easy listening group who dominated the airways in their time. Their station offered up plenty of other soft-hits gods (like rock-gods, but soothing and romantic!): early Madonna, Tiffany, Pat Benetar, Richard Marx, Lionel Richie, Chicago (or Peter Cetera, their lead singer who later had a solo career. I note this because I heard all these songs and kept thinking "I know this song but I've never heard of this guy! So I investigated). Basically every song that comes on I mark the "thumbs up icon" because I love it. (One downer to note-after about 6 hours straight of the same station you start to get repeats of all the same songs).

My "coming out" of the soft-hits closet this week has had a couple of interesting effects: 1) all my coworkers who at first were ripping me and acting all "manly" like they didn't like what I was listening to within hours were crooning right along with every song. Either they love it like me or had mothers who also listened to "New Mix" and FM100 in their youth (probably a little of both). 2)I keep discovering old favorites again and again through all these links, at which point I discover another old memory! Some of the favorites from this week of soft hits: Gloria Estefan (You know you want to "Get on your feet!") Mr. Mister ("Take these broken wings"), Michael Bolton (Yes, THAT Michael Bolton! I even heard a new sweet song, "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" that was just too catchy to not enjoy), and of course the kings of the 1-hit wonder soft hit, Toto (you know how FM100 plays only Christmas music through December? I think the rest of the year they have an automatic "Africa" every hour on the hour. Seriously, I never switch to that station without getting myself some "I bless the rains down in AFRICA! boom, boOm, bOOM, BOOM! Gonna take some time to do the things we never HA-AAA-AAAD! ooo, ooo!)

Pandora-awesome. If you have some other sweet golden oldies for me let me know.

I'm Sick

2009-03-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

Is there anything worse than being sick? Whenever I get sick or even can feel myself getting sick I go into panic mode. "What did it ever feel like to be healthy?" Whenever I get sick I start off with a sore throat and after 5 minutes of a sore throat I can't remember what it ever felt like to be able to swallow normally and I wonder if I will ever know what that feels like again. Of course this only lasts a few days but days turn into ETERNITY when you are sick. Right now is especially the prime time for me to get sick. All I want to do is sleep for 14 hours or so; instead I'm at work for that long. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy: spend a few months working like crazy, definitely EATING like crazy (and we all know I can pack it in with the best of them), sitting and stressing all day, not sleeping much, and avoiding exercise like it would kill me (which, of course, it might in my current state).

I always get sick right when I think, "Maybe I will make it through this season change without getting sick for once!" Which of course during the nice pre-storm weather last week, I thought. Here's to all who get the yearly (or in my case, seasonally) cold. To our suffering and misery for the few days it lasts. To the NyQuil and DayQuil that pulls us through. I'm going to bed (hopefully I won't wake up to my alarm in the morning).

World Without End

2009-03-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm in this new little habit of writing a review of every book I read, mostly because I want to be able to remember how I liked a book when I think about it, even though books rarely come up in my conversations because I'm the only nerd out there who reads for fun.

"World Without End"-no, not a church book, but that would make a good title. This book is kind of a sequel to "The Pillars of the Earth" that I read last year. Not the same characters, but roughly the same time frame and same city setting. I'm pretty sure the writer, Ken Follet, just set it up that way to have easy access to all the geography he had set up in his previous book. This was valuable to me as well as I felt like I was right back in the setting as the first book. Both of these books are over 1,000 pages. It took me two months to read. Whenever I embark on such a sizable book, I certainly take the "this is a journey" approach. The length of the story spans pretty much a lifetime, and it just seems like nothing ever goes right. This is actually one of the things I like about these books. It is set in old-time England. While the book is fiction, the author did a lot of research to portray what life would be like in the time. That is the most interesting part of both books. Whenever I read, I can't stop thinking about how hard it would have been to live in that time; and how much harder it would be to live as a peasant. Six days a week of all-day backbreaking labor just to pretty much eat. How would it be to live under a "Lord" or "Earl" to whom you would have to submit for everything in life? Crazy times. Even crazier that people actually lived through that era and here we are today.

While the book was entertaining, if you pick it up and read the cover summary, the "secret" that is supposed to carry the whole book is basically an afterthought by the end. I also think there was a bit too much graphic stuff. On one hand, I'm sure it was necessary to paint a real picture of how life was back then, but I don't want to recommend it to somebody and have them come back and say, "you didn't tell me about this and this. . ." So in the end, great book, but if you're thinking about reading it and don't want any undesireable surprises, maybe ask me about it.

Larry H. Miller

2009-03-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

Every time I walk into a Megaplex Theatre I think about Larry Miller and how awesome he is for our state. Have you ever been to a movie in another state? I've been to theatres in other states that make our $1 theatres look glamorous. Obviously the movie theatres, the restaurants, the car dealerships, etc. are all part of what made him important for our state. Obviously the most important reason he was important to our state was my beloved Utah Jazz.

I thought Larry was a spectacular owner. I loved that he was open to the media. Whenever he did interviews on 1280 or 1320, I was locked in to hear whatever he had to say. Whether he was talking sports or his political views I absolutely could not change the station. He shared inside stories and honest business perspective on what was going on for the Jazz and real world issues. I thank him for making himself so available to the public. I hear owners of most major sports franchises don't comment publicly and hide away in the luxury suites. I would hate to have an onwer like that. Give me a Larry Miller or Mark Cuban anyday. Outspoken, sitting courtside, interested in what is going on and interested in winning. No wonder the world hates Donald Sterling and the Clippers.

I had one encounter with Larry Miller in my lifetime. It lasted 2 seconds and was most certainly un-noteworthy in the life of Larry Miller, but I obviously will never forget. I was working as the gateshack guard in the Pepperwood Community in Sandy. People that pulled up in the visitor lane were required to tell me where they were going, their name, etc. Up pulls a white Mercedes-Benz, the hundred-thousand-dollar type, not the "just a luxury car" type. He pulls up and I freeze: "That is Larry H. Miller" I think to myself. What do I do? Do I shake his hand? Ask for an autograph? What??!! I do nothing. "Good Afternoon. Where are you headed?" "I'm here to visit my son Greg Miller." Then the kicker, "What's your name?" He gives me the quickest look like, "Come on, you know exactly who I am." And it was true, I did. But he was completely gracious, "Larry Miller". "Have a nice day". As he drove off I thought of 1,000 things I wanted to ask him about the Jazz, but the opportunity had vanished. I'm sure a punk kid asking Jazz questions when all he wants to do is visit his son would've bothered him anyway, but still.

I can't remember where I discussed this, I'm sure it was at work since that is where I spend my life these days, but somebody brought up the concept of what would happen in your "perfect day". Not necessarily your last day on earth, just your perfect day. Amongst other things, I said the cap to my "perfect day" would be watching the Jazz win an exciting, close game. Not winning game 7 of the Finals or even necessarily a playoff game, just watching them play and win. The night before he passed, the Jazz pulled out an exciting, come-from-behind win over the Celtics. I read that when Gail told him they had won, he was happy.

My Anti-Healthy Life

2009-02-14T07:55:00.000-08:00

So Rachel and I are in this family (Rachel's family) competition to "live healthy" (read: lose weight). We are on a point system so you get points for doing good things (i.e. exercising, drinking water) and avoiding bad things (soda, treats, etc.). I usually start the week off strong and end pretty weak. Last night I took Rachel to a romantic dinner at one of the high-class restaurants in town: Sizzler. OK arguably not high-class at all but we both love Sizzler. After pounding two baskets of cheese toast, my steak, potato, and second round of all-you-can-eat shrimp, I tell Rachel, "I could easily put away at least another two plates of shrimp, but I'll make the good decision and quit while I'm only "full" instead of "bloated". She told me she was proud of me for making the right decision.

So we get in the car and I proceed to tell her about my other "right" decisions this week:

Monday- The Manager of my current job arrives with a giant box of sugar cookies. Lots of little ones instead of giant ones. Who am I to refuse free cookies? She's from out of town and asks how they compare overall to other sugar cookies. I tell her, "Well, they're not Lofthouse level, and they're not as good as my wife's sugar cookies, but they still taste really good." I proceed to call Rachel and request that she make home-made sugar cookies for Tuesday. I get home from work and the miracle itself occurred: Rachel did in fact make me a giant batch of sugar cookies. I ate around 10 of them that night. I pass on dinner to offset the 5,000 calories worth of cookies I have eaten that day.

Tuesday- I take a giant tupperware of Rachel's cookies to work. We eat them throughout the day. I might add that our audit "war room" has lots of other snacks: jelly belly's, swedish fish, fruit snacks. All of those are of course consumed throughout the day as well. I'm staying late that night and I know I want a quality dinner. I strongly suggest "The Pie". I'm one of the lowest ranking employees on the audit team but I have strong influence when it comes to food: as all know I have excellent restaurant knowledge. We get two specialty pizzas and some cheese pull-aparts delivered and I eat plenty of it. Yum.

Wednesday- (Breakfast): I get to work and a coworker tells me that the manager was planning on bringing bagles. I had already eaten breakfast, but who am I to deny an Einstein? She calls on the way in to see if we even still want them. I convince her we do, and convince her we need some "honey-almond" smear to go with them. Delicious.

(Lunch):On Monday I had called Rachel and told her I wanted Apollo Burger for dinner. It didn't work out, but I hadn't forgotten about it by Wednesday. It just so happens it is my turn to pick where we eat for lunch for out audit team. I pick Crown Burger. I get a Crown Burger combo (can you beat a pastrami burger? I think not). I'm not drinking soda (one of the few positives of this "healthy living competition" that I'm actually doing good at) so of course I substitue my soda for a chocolate shake instead (much healthier than soda!). They give me a medium instead of my intended-small. I oblige and eat the whole thing.

(Sidenote: Wednesday night is usually my basketball night; my one night a week of super-extended exercise. We call off ball this week because of the Jazz/Lakers game. Worth it as the Jazz win in a tight contest.)

Thursday- We get Gandolfo's for lunch. I order the foot-long Urban Cowboy. Chicken, Turkey, Bacon (ALWAYS bacon), piled high. The kid who picked up the order decided to get cookies for everybody too. I can't let him down. I put it all away with a bag of sunchips (gotta think healthy when thinking chips, right?). That afternoon Julie, a girl from the audit team, bursts in the room with her hands full of giant sugar cookies. "The guy around the corner had two huge boxes of them and told me to take some!" Awesome. The same size as the pink Granny-B cookies but not the same brand. The Manager called them "pizza-slice" cookies. I eat the cookie. I tastes like pure sugar, like it didn't get blended into the frosting well enough.

Friday-(The Ripper): I stop at the gas station in the morning to buy my coworker a cherry coke-zero (his birthday is this weekend). I decide to go for a triangle donut for breakfast. Too delicious to pass up and since I've been off soda I haven't really been in a gas station for over a month. I get to work and remember that our office has breakfast on Friday mornings. Today's selection: McDonalds sausage mcmuffins. If you know me, you know I am incapable of denying my beloved McDonalds. I enjoy a sweet sausage McMuffin (even though I always order Bacon :)).

It's my coworker's birthday the next day and it's valentines day. Our manager brings in a box of Branbury Court (Notice: Some of the best I've ever had) heart-shaped donuts. What am I to do? I've already had a donut and a mcmuffin this morning. I can't possibly put this down. In actuality, I put it down pretty easily. Extremely tasty.

Around 10 am and for the second time this week, Julie bursts into the room with treats: little boxes of See's chocolates. "Happy Valentines from Zions Securities Corporation!" She stumbled on them again and brings them all into us. I rip open the package and put away half the chocolate before I wonder aloud, "Dang! I should've just torn off the little sticker and given these to my wife for Valentine's Day!" All other decide to do that. I don't lament too long as I know Rachel would've seen through that ploy anyways. I eat the rest of the chocolates.

I go pick up Navoo Cafe for lunch. I have a Turkey and you-know-what sandwich. Not the worst thing ever to eat. I actually have some lettuce on it.

It's about 3 pm and I'm starting to think ahead to the night's grand finale at Sizzler. I walk into the breakroom with the out-of-town-manager to fill up my water bottle and it strikes again. The room is decorated for somebody's birthday (not my coworker's) and the party is clearly over. Left sitting on the tables are huge trays of Lofthouse sugar cookies. The manager asks me, "Those cookies look good. Are they good?" I respond, "These are the Lofthouse sugar cookies I was telling you about; the best sugar cookie you will ever eat." She picks one up, eats it, and promptly agrees. I load up a plate to take back to our audit room for the rest of the team. The way the week has went, you can imagine as I burst into the room with a plate full of cookies and yell, "Booooooooom!" "Boom! Boom! Boom!" We all dive in and have ourselves a nice cookie. It's Friday, right?

Rachel is proud of me for passing on a 3rd plate of shrimp. As we walk out of Sizzler to the car I relate my week to her, and she stares back horrified at my decisions for the week. I realize what a week it's been. Instead of turning my planned left I turn right toward the gas station and head in for a soda. A week like this deserves a proper cap.

2008 Year in Review

2009-01-31T22:43:00.000-08:00

2008 Year in Review

January 31, 2009
I usually write my little year in review every year right at the end of the year; no later than January 1 of the new year. This year I’ve been caught up with work and studying for one of my CPA exams for the final few weeks of 2008 and the first few weeks of 2009; hence, the delay.
I can’t believe I’m already at the end of the first month of 2009. 2008 was such a blur and this year has already started off on a torrid pace. I always think about how each day changes your perspective. What I write today is probably different than what I would’ve written just one month ago. Anyways, my memories of the year 2008.
January- January 2nd, a Thursday, I start my first day in my new career at KPMG. Just a couple weeks after graduating, just a couple days after leaving my four-year stint at Comcast, I start my new life as a bona-fide accountant. Pretty boring first day. I leave the following Sunday for a 10 day, over-the-weekend training session in Orlando, FL. It was the first time I’d ever been longer than one day away from Rachel and obviously Cannon. Staying the weekend was brutal. The one bright spot was meeting up with my buddy Jonathan Stevens on Saturday afternoon and hanging out with him until Sunday night. It’s a great feeling to be thousands of miles away from home and have one of your best friends pull up to the hotel and pick you up. Fortunate that he’s down in Florida at school.
So I get home in the middle of the week from this training and get told that Friday that I’ll be spending the following two weeks in Seattle. Quite the gut-punch to think I’m coming home only to get shipped out again. I had never been to Seattle. I had Rachel fly up over the middle weekend and we got to see the city: Pike’s Market, the Space Needle, the Music Experiment Museum, and the Aquarium. We ate at the Crab Pot on the pier on the Saturday night. Obviously great seafood up in Seattle. My favorite part of the trip was the Space Needle. Pretty sweet view of the city and the shoreline from up there. We went up on Saturday in the night and on Sunday during the day. Spectacular both times.
Sunday night Rachel’s flight got delayed so we ended up hanging out together for quite a few hours at the SeaTac airport. We found out there that night that President Hinckley had passed away. He is kind of “our prophet” for our age-generation if that makes sense so it was a big deal to hear that news.
So I spent the entire month of January out of town and basically didn’t see Cannon, but I did get a sweet weekend trip with my wife to Seattle out of it.
February 14th, on Valentines day, I got my braces off. Yes, I was one of those people that had braces as an adult. I would’ve never got them but since my wife is an orthodontic assistant she was always examining my teeth and telling me to get them. The main reason I got braces was to be able to tell my kids that I did it when we are forcing them to do it. If we did anything that night for Valentine’s Day, I don’t remember what it was. Must have been something super special!
February-March was just a blur. I was at Mrs. Fields Cookies doing an audit. I liked being there because it’s right by Rachel’s work so we were able to hook up for lunch dates. Our favorite place to go for lunch dates has always been Pistol Pete’s or Apollo Burger. Sadly, she just told me the other day that Pistol Pete’s went under. Too bad, it was one of my favorites.
Not too much in April or May either. This is NBA playoff time so I’m sure we were engrossed in playoff basketball. We went to our first NBA playoff game ever. Game 3 against the Rockets. Nate and Shantel Harrison came with us. Of course, after having the most dominant home record during the year, we lose game 3 to the Rockets. So my only playoff game to date in my life is a loss. We still be the Rockets and ended up losing to the Lakers in the next round. I hate the Lakers. I also took my first two sections of the CPA exams in May. I just crammed for both and passed, which is what I should’ve done for the last two but I was stupid and delayed (hence the delay in writing my memories because I had to study for the final one. . . stupid!).
June was a big month for our family. We went on a Super Vacation! We went down to Florida for over a week for tons of fun. We went to Sea World, on a 4-day cruise to the Bahamas, and to Disney World. I can’t believe in retrospect we took Cannon. Taking him now would be the worst nightmare ever. He was at the perfect stage where he would ride in the stroller all day without any problems. One of the funniest memories is he kept peeing on me! We would give him drinks non-stop but keep forgetting to change his diaper until inevitably it would leak all over me when I’d pick him up. Obviously with all the heat and humidity we wanted to keep him hydrated. I guess it was the price to pay for keeping him from getting sick from the heat. My favorite memories were SeaWorld and the swimming with the stingrays in the Bahamas. The water was so clear you could see the bottom even a hundred feet off shore. I’m interested for my future visit to Hawaii (not in the near future-but someday). After having been to Puerto Rico and now the Bahamas I have a hard time thinking Hawaii is better than the Caribbean. Probably just as good, but I’ll have to see for myself to judge if it’s better. My favorite part of Disney World was the Epcot Center, which is funny because I distinctly remember HATING the Epcot Center when I went with my mom and dad when I was 7. It’s definitely more fun for adults to see the different culture centers so close together. The only downer was we ate at some crappy Mexican fast-food thing. We bit the bullet for the costly food on every other occasion, for some reason we decided to go cheaper on that one meal and I’m pretty sure all agreed that it sucked. If I remember correctly, we made up for it that night by eating dinner at my favorite: the always reliable McDonalds!
The rest of the family flew back Saturday but I stayed the weekend for another training session with KPMG. So all in all I spent pretty much a month of 2008 in Florida. My memory of my second week at the training was hitting up the “Downtown Disney” and I bought Rachel a ring with her name carved into it. She wanted it when we were there but decided not to go for it, so I brought it home as a surprise.
4th of July! I took this week off as well and just did chores around the house. Kind of nice to have a relaxing week off without a vacation to power-pack every second. We spent the 4th of July at Rachel’s mom’s. Cannon was scared of the fireworks; he pretty much cried at every one. This upset Rachel quite a bit as the 4th of July is her favorite holiday. I felt pretty bad and we didn’t even end up staying up for late night fireworks because Cannon was A) beat and B) scared. Hopefully next year this holiday goes a little better for us as far as fireworks are concerned.
July was the start of a 4-month stretch of me being out of town during the week pretty much every single week. I’m assigned to work on the Department of Energy up in Washington state in Richland. The work isn’t bad and it’s only a 4-day workweek so the 3-day weekends were nice. Richland is a small town (part of the “Tri-Cities”). I don’t know why they call it Tri-Cities because it’s really like referring to something like Draper-Sandy-South Jordan combos as the Tri-Cities, sizewise at least. The cities are right on the Columbia River, which I think is beautiful. My hotel was right on the river and there is a nice trail right along the river that is fun to jog along at night. Richland is also home to the sweetest Mongolian BBQ restaurant ever (“Three Flames Mongolian”) and an “Anthony’s” restaurant that has the best Lobster Tail. I’m excited to have Rachel come up to Richland for one of the week’s this coming year to try these places with me. Rachel basically lived at her mom’s house while I was away. Fortunately for us we live close to family to help us out when necessary and fortunately they’re willing to help out when I’m out of town. I even made the drive to Washington about once a month to get the mileage (cheaper than a flight so a good deal both ways). It was on one of these drives in October that I got my first speeding ticket ever. I was in Oregon, flying at like 95 mph. As soon as I passed the cop I knew I was finished. He was nice to me and dropped it down to 20 over so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. The real problem was when I told my manager about it the next day he said, “Well, you can’t get your miles reimbursed if you got a ticket. The firm won’t support illegal activity.” I was floored. Rachel was going to KILL me! Wasting all of that time to drive and not get reimbursed for the mileage because I was such a moron I was speeding in Oregon! (NOTE: Don’t EVER speed in Oregon). He kept it up for a while but finally told me he was kidding. I had a heart-attack. I hate Oregon. They don’t let you fill up your own gas there. Some weird law. From now on I make sure to fill up right on the border in Idaho and not refill up until I cross over into Washington. It just bugs me.
Luckily enough I was home the week of Cannon’s birthday in August. August 14th the “bro” turned 1 ( I call Cannon my “bro”. I don’t know why). We had all the family over from both sides and had a party for him. We had pizza, a Thomas the Train cake, and even got a little cake that we let Cannon dive into. Most days I still can’t even believe I have a kid, let alone a kid that’s over 1 (now approaching 18 months!). We love him more and more as he grows.
I passed another section of my CPA exams (4 total) in August. One to go. I should’ve just cranked out the final one but I was lazy and put it off until October.
September-I’m up in Washington for one week. Come home, and find out I’m going to Boise for 3 straight weeks: this time Friday included. I’d never been to Boise either (besides driving through on my drives to Washington). Interesting town. I only experienced downtown. It has a much smaller feel than SLC, which for some reason surprised me. I thought it would be kind of the same. That’s pretty much all I have to say about Boise.
For my birthday Rachel got me the P90X DVDs. I love watching infomercials and I had watched that one 50 times over. I’ve used it and I love the exercises but I really haven’t been able to do it exactly because I can’t follow the eating. Seriously, I’m either out of town or working late. Either way all of my meals are brought in. Not exactly the best option if you’re trying to eat healty. It’s still one of the sweetest birthday presents ever. I hate that I turned 27, officially my “late” twenties. 26 was still “mid” twenties. I’m in this eternal feeling that I’m in the 21-23 age range. Nope. Getting old. All I need is to see and actual 21-year old and it confirms that I am a full-blown bill-paying, for-the-man-working, “sir” calling adult. I can’t even claim college anymore. Where does the time go?
October-my supposed final month of travel. I come down to the final two weeks of DOE in Washington. Coincidentally, my final CPA exam is the Saturday after these final two weeks. Well, the final two weeks turn out to be bears and I don’t study at all. I cram on the final night before the test. I fail by one point. What a bitter, bitter feeling. I have never failed a test in my life. Truly a learning experience for me that failure is a possibility in life if you don’t prepare properly. I reschedule for January and thus delay the writing of the ever important year-in-review as this time I actually put in some study time.
November-work slows down for the final two months of the year. For Rachel’s birthday her dad took us out to Red Lobster (her favorite restaurant). I got her a new digital camera. Our old one was top-of-the-line when we got it five years ago for our wedding. We basically got the same model, just the 2008 edition: slimmer, more megapixels, better memory, etc. BYU loses to Utah in one of the most disappointing season’s I remember. I had bet a buddy at work that they would pull it out. Max Hall and his six turnovers made sure we didn’t. I now have on the back of my car a Utah Utes license plate frame for the next year thanks to Mr. Hall. It’s just a game, right?
I took the final week before Thanksgiving off and just hung out with Rachel and Cannon around the house. We spent Thanksgiving weekend up in Idaho in preparation for Rachel’s cousin Kim’s wedding and her grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary. We went up the following weekend for Kim’s wedding. Good times all around.
Christmas season is always one of the best times of the year. Cannon wasn’t quite in the full swing of things but obviously he appreciated Christmas more this year than last. I’m excited that next year he’ll understand that he’s waking up to Santa’s presents! Our top gift was a camcorder from Rachel’s dad! It was a killer gift particularly because it is a luxury item that we probably would’ve never bought for ourselves. Notable other gifts include some sweet “Sham-wow” towels I got from Rachel (yet another infomercial item I desired!).
For New Year’s we headed up to Bear Lake with friends at Gehrke’s cabin. Rock Bank all night baby! I need to get a Nintendo Wii and that game. I’m excited for when Cannon is old enough to play video games with me.
Quite a year. My overall memory of 2008 was that it was a big adjustment year. Overall, I spent nearly ½ the year out of town, when I’ve basically been a non-traveler for my whole life. I’m now a platinum Marriott Rewards member in just one year. Obviously a big adjustment year in the fact that we have a growing child, a new job for me with the travel involved, new challenges for Rachel to deal with my crap. I’ve really learned to appreciate family time as it’s become a bit more valuable in the past year. Some of the best times when we’re home together is just sitting on the couch with the tv off and Cannon just climbs all over both of us playing and laughing. Looking forward to more of that in ’09. . . and passing this final CPA test! If I didn’t pass this last week, don’t be surprised if you can hear my roar of anguish from your house.

not that there is anything wrong with that. . .

2008-12-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

I received a "wall message" on Facebook from Brady Kerr today. Brady is the younger brother of one of my best friends, Trevor. What did Brady write? He reminded me of one of my all-time classic quotes. In Trevor's yearbook our senior year I wrote the following, "I will always remember our long chats in bed after a long night of dancing!" Trevor took the yearbook home, his brother Brady got a hold of it and started reading through all the messages his friends wrote, then stopped dead when he read my message. "Is your friend gay?" I can only imagine the discomfort of reading that type of message in your brother's yearbook.

Point #1: During high school Trevor slept over at my house every weekend night, automatic. He had a curfew but if he slept over at somebody's house the curfew obviously didn't apply; so he slept over at my house on the weekends. I remember even multiple weekend nights where we didn't even hang out but he'd come over at the end of the night.

Point #2: I had a bigger bed in my room and nothing else to offer besides the floor, so we slept in the same bed. I was usually crushed up against the wall and he was on the other edge of the bed. Separate blankets, plenty of distance. No need for concern here.

Point #3: All of us boys often went out to whatever dances or dance clubs we could get into on the weekends. Very little "dancing" occurred, more just weak attempts in our endless quest to meet girls.

So on a usual weekend night in high school, the boys and I would head out to find some dance, try to hit on girls until the wee hours of the morning, and after we all went home for the night Trevor would obviously end up at my house, at which we'd be talking for a long time before we actually fell asleep. All innocent enough, right?

All of this defense of course brings me back to the question, "What were you thinking?" Had I maybe reread the quote or thought it through before I wrote it out, I probably wouldn't be making a public defense about it nearly 10 years later.

totally heterosexual

Awkward . . . In My Mind

2008-12-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get stuck in hallways in that awkward position where you are walking right behind somebody? So close that you want to pass them, but you're close to your destination so you'd end up cutting them off after pulling the pass?

So I'm at work this week heading to the restroom. In the hall a guy and girl are talking, standing across the hall from each other. Normal move is to pass right through, correct? Well, right as I hit the "pass through" point, they break off the conversation and the girl starts walking RIGHT in front of me. The problem is, now I'm so close to the restroom (up ahead on the right-hand side of the hallway) that I can't really pull a pass because I'd either cut her off to go in or just have to let her re-pass to go in. So I'm literally right behind this girl as she takes these few steps; I'm feeling so awkward that I'm dying to duck into the restroom as soon as possible because I'm sure she can sense me hovering right behind her. One more step before I can duck into the restroom, and suddenly she banks right, turns the handle, and ducks into the men's restroom!! What. . . just. . . happened?! Now I'm in a super-awkward position! Obviously I can't follow her right in, I have to freeze right there and wait it out until she realizes what she did and comes back out with the sheepish, embarassment grin on her face, right? The thing is, there isn't another door along this hallway for a long stretch; she didn't just turn in one door too early. What was she doing?

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity (ok, it was probably just a few seconds) she just comes right back out and continues on her way down the hall. No embarassed look, just confident as could be cruising down the hall. I double check the sign on the door for "Men" and head in about my business.

Here's the kicker, what I just wrote did not happen. Ha! Nope I just made that whole thing up! Well, just the girl heading into the bathroom part. I did endure the awkward, caught-right-behind-in-the-hallway walk and the girl was walking so freaking slow and close to the wall that I couldn't help but suddenly think, "This girl is going to duck into the men's bathroom!" Then I started thinking of what I would do if she did duck into the bathroom (Answer: Stand there in awkward shock until she came out with an embarassed look on her face). Then I started thinking, "Why am I even thinking about this?" Then I was cursing myself out in the bathroom for even thinking up something so A) stupid, and B) crazy. Do other people have crazy moments like this? Or am I just a big weirdo? I hope the former.

The Road

2008-12-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

So after grinding out John Adams for 6 months, I needed a quick weekend read to kind of straighten myself out. This has been a quality first year out of college. I'm a huge reader but I didn't read much during college since I always had to read textbooks. My goal for this year was 4 books. I'm going to finish with 7: Kite Runner, No Country For Old Men, The Pillars of the Earth, A Thousand Splendid Suns, I Love You Beth Cooper, John Adams, and The Road. I didn't write my little "review" of all of them, but there they are for what it's worth.

The Road is the same author as No Country For Old Men, and it appears it will be coming out as a movie next year. I must say it is VERY rare for me not to like a book, but I must have missed the meaning of this thing or something. Set in the future where the world is basically destroyed, this guy is on a "journey" with his son, heading South, constantly looking for food. Can I just say that that last sentence pretty much sums up the entire book! I kept reading because I was sure something was about to happen; something big. Nope, just more looking for food (and of course finding it at just the right time). I almost never think a movie is better than a book, but hopefully there is some creative liberties taken to make this a little more interesting.

So I finish the year on kind of a downer as far as books. All of the other books I read this year were fantastic. If I had to pick a "best one" I would go with The Pillars of the Earth, but it was over 1,000 pages so it's quite an undertaking. I'm looking forward to starting next year with the sequel, World Without End, also a 1,000+ page beast. Just avoid "the road".

Rambo

2008-12-13T13:03:00.000-08:00

So I'm up in Idaho Falls with Rachel's family over Thanksgiving and Rachel's uncle Garth says, "Let's go shoot some guns on Saturday". I'm thinking shotgun, handgun, .22, etc. He says, "We can shoot my new .50 cal". "Sounds like fun" is my reply. "You don't even know what that is, do you?" he responds. No I did not.

A .50 cal, as you can see above, is a mother of a weapon. The bullet was a solid 6 inches, the gun weighed about 50 pounds; so you're definitely not shooting clay pigeons with this thing. Standing about 10 feet behind the gun when it fires you feel like you're getting punched in the face with the kickback force. Pretty awesome power.

John Adams

2008-12-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

So after 6 months of slow progress, I've finally finished reading the biography of John Adams, our Second U.S. President! The slow progress had nothing to do with the interest level of the book, I was caught up working late (as usual) and especially cuaght up studying for tests. I bought the book mid-June in the Orlando airport and didn't finish until a couple days ago. Quite a journey indeed.

Did you know that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on the same day, which happened to be July 4, 1826, our nation's 50th anniversary? Crazy, whether coincidence or not. Basically the book noted that they were both determined to stick it out that far.

John Adams lived a pretty amazing life and it makes me want to read more biographies of Presidents. He was a Harvard-educated lawyer, yet he was never super wealthy. He defended the British troops who killed the men in the Boston Massacre, he lived all over Europe as a U.S. Ambassador during the revolution, and he lived a very simple life comparatively speaking. The author made many comparisons between Adams and Jefferson; the most interesting to me was how simple and debt-free life Adams lived and how lavish and debt-ridden life Jefferson lived. Adams died with a net worth of $100k, and Jefferson died with debt of over $100k and the sale of his entire his estate did not make up the debt. I found that very interesting when contrasting the two lifestyles throughout the book. If Jefferson was the "pen" of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, Adams was the "voice". So very interesting to learn about these things that I hadn't even thought of before. Adams is also the "father" of the US Navy. David McCullough did an excellent job; I would highly recommend this book to anybody interested in a very important person in US History.

I think another interesting thing to me is to see what experiences a lifetime can bring to a person. Adams was not a war hero or anything like that. Besides becoming the President of the United States, he seemingly led a life that a normal person could lead; yet looking back so many experiences add up to make him an incredible person. That probably applies to many people all over. Adding up a lifetime of experiences can lead to a pretty impressive story for just about anybody.

When I think about historical figures, for some reason I just think about that person, alone, and their context. This book reminded me that Adams, Washington, Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, etc. all lived and dealt with each other. I'm sure they didn't know at the time what type of historical figures they would become, but it's amazing now to think that so many great minds with such foresight for our country came together at the same time.

Anywhere But The Chest!

2008-11-19T13:46:00.001-08:00

I mean, seriously, this is getting a little out of hand, don't you think?

Isn't it supposed to be a chest bump?

2008-11-17T09:27:00.001-08:00

Is this what they mean by "Utah Man"? I thought I'd bring it strong to start off rivalry week. Go COUGS!

Jumping Jacks

2008-11-11T18:43:00.000-08:00

You know how when you're in little league football and every day at practice you do jumping jacks to warm up? Those who played know what I'm talking about when I say that you can't do jumping jacks and hold in your gas at the same time; you basically rip it every time you split your legs wide for the jack. Well, today I experienced a similar experience at work, speaking of the need to rip it, not speaking of anything related to spreading my legs or doing jumping jacks; that was just a reference.

So I don't really know what came over me or what I was thinking, but I was sitting at work this afternoon and I guess I just decided I either couldn't or wasn't going to hold it in any more. I proceeded to rip a GIGANTIC, loud and proud fart, followed up by a quick toot to polish it off. As soon as I ripped it, I froze, realizing that I was NOT alone nor sitting in the comfort of my home. I was at work, in a business environment, supposedly being professional. My co-worker sitting across the table from me froze as well. He looked up with a stunned face, "Did you just. . . Did you just do that on purpose?!"

What could I say? I hesitated for the briefest of moments before acknowledging my flamboyant rip, "Yes, I did just rip that and I apologize."

He hesitated, "Hmm, So that just happened. Wow." He seemed to shrug it off after that, but I'm pretty sure he will never feel completely comfortable around me again.

I had to get up for a meeting right after that and I couldn't stop laughing. I had to bite my lip so hard it almost bled. The problem isn't that I was laughing, it's that people ask you, "Why are you laughing?" Then what? Tell them you just ripped a giant bomb in the conference room and left your coworker in there to suffer the consequences? No, you're just screwed if you get asked. Luckily, I was successful in avoiding any questions but I did get a couple weird glances as I continued to laugh/bite my lip ferociously.

So what did I learn from this experience? Apparently nothing, as I sit down 30 minutes later after my meeting and immediately proceed to rip an equally high-decible blast. It was like I was sitting on a whoopie cushion, only it wasn't a whoopie cushion and these farts were definitely the funk. My coworker didn't verbally acknowledge the flatulence but I did catch him cocking his head toward the ground in that, "What in the world is he doing!" grimace. I'm sure if not from the sound but from the putridity reaching his nostrils. The answer is, "I don't know"

The Brandon Face

2008-11-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

Rachel sent me this picture the other day with the caption, "This is a Brandon face if I've ever seen one!" I put it as the wallpaper on my cellphone and I laugh every time I open my cellphone. Too rich. I couldn't disagree as I know I pull such faces all the time. Such a shame my son has to pick up on some of my more embarrasing traits.

Belated Anniversary

2008-11-02T17:29:00.000-08:00

So it was like 2 weeks ago but I've been completely overwhelmed by life so I haven't been able to officially recognize my 1 year anniversary of bloggins! I think it was officially on the 16th of October or around there. As of this posting I have made 63 posts which is good for an average of slightly above 1 post per week. However, I realize that I started off averaging about 1 post every couple days when I first started and I've digressed to about 1 post per month, so I'll have to pick up the pace to keep that average up. It was so simple to post when I started because I worked the graveyard shift every night. Now it's basically impossible to post at work and impossible to post at home (read: Cannon Ball) so while I have no shortage of topics I have experienced a dearth of opportunity.

So what have I learned in one year of blogging? I've learned that I love to write, especially about items that to me are frustrating or annoying. I've also learned that I'm not as prone to write about sports as I thought. I've certainly shared numerous sports posts, but I

(Sidenote: This is why I don't post as often. So this is what has happend during the 3 minutes I've tried to sneak in to actually write some of my thoughts down. Cannon has come in and pounded on the keyboard multiple times-I should have left all the insertions in my post here for proof- and then he dropped the absolute funk in his diaper. I went to change him on our bed-luckily unmade as will soon be relevant- as soon as I pulled his diaper off he pulled some 180 spin move out of my grasp and proceeded to smear poop all over our sheets and one of the pillow cases. So now I'm washing to sheets and the pillow case. I will now proceed to bang my head into the desk. Back to regularly scheduled posting)

originally thought I would breakdown every game of every sport as I am prone to do in conversation. While that has not happened, be on the lookout for a streak of Jazz/BYU posts. I've noticed that my favorite posts generally have to do with writing about my old memories growing up. As I feel this is generally a journal-type thing for me I've been pleasantly surprised at my range of topics covered. I have a stockload of things I want to write about but as noted above I'm struggling to find opportunities to sit down and write. I hope to improve, as with anything else in life. Here's to one year of blogging!

Why the Jazz are #1

2008-10-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite lines of all time is from Colorado coach Dan Hawkins, "It's Division 1 Football!!!" Love it!

How on earth could #9 (soon to be # "others receiving votes) BYU play such a crappy game tonight against TCU? I can tell you exactly why, "It's Division 1 Football!!!!" Nice article in USA Today this week about the Cougs. Apparently they practice 90 minutes a day, all coaches are home by 6:30, and they are encouraged to make sure football is #5 on their priority list. #5? I'm pretty sure Rachel would argue (and I would have to agree with her) that football is higher than #5 on MY priority list, and I don't play. It's Division 1 Football!!!!! How about you take 3 months and inch that item up a few notches. 90 minutes of practice a day? I get that much exercise throughout the day and I'm 50 pounds overweight, slow, and sit in a chair for 12 hours a day. Could I play Division 1 Football????? Home by 6:30? I haven't been home by 6:30 this year! Note to division 1 college coaches. . . IT'S DIVISION 1 FOOTBALL!!!! Yes! Quadruple exclamation point!

This is why BYU is second to the Jazz. The season comes down to 2 games, the first time they lose and the game against the U. Can anybody provide a single good reason for attending or watching the UNLV game next week? Does anybody care? UNLV? No, nobody cares. BYU shouldn't schedule Northern Iowa or any other cupcake to open the season, they should schedule the absolute top team available (hello Florida State this year!!!!). Win, it kicks off huge momentum for a big season. Lose, I can take 3 months off until we play the U as all other games are rendered meaningless. Might as well get the loss out of the way early.

The Jazz can potentially win a championship every year (don't give me the 1984. I was 3 years old, I don't remember it, and it would take a minimum two-year run, including a BCS WIN the first year of the two year run, to make it to the BCS Title Game, and then have to win. Hmmm, I wonder what this year was supposed to be?) I already know up front that the Jazz won't go undefeated, but they can have a very relevant season. As for BYU I'm now left screaming at the television, "It's Division 1 Football!!! Get ready!!"

Game was over when: Max Hall threw his first "should have been" interception, only the guy dropped it. Clearly this defense could lock in on the fact that he looks right at his target after the snap and stays looking at him (being Austin Collie) until he throws it to him. Easy pick!

Game was truly over when: we run a sweep on 4th and 1. Note: GREAT CALL to go for it on fourth and 1. I truly support going for it on 4th and less than 3 anytime inside the 50 no matter what the situation. TERRIBLE CALL to run a sweep when your fullback and running back are power backs, not speed-to-the-outside backs. Power it up the gut with your full line of "pro level" linemen!

Emotions are running high, maybe I'll feel better in a couple weeks, when the Jazz regular season starts up.

I hate TCU.

My First Speeding Ticket!

2008-10-13T18:46:00.001-07:00

So pissed! So pissed! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSSSSSED!!!! Yes! Quadruple Exclamation Point!!!!

You know how they say there are those who are sorry because they truly feel bad and they want to change and there are those who are sorry because they got caught? The "sorrow of the damned" if you will? Count me among the damned for this one.

Cruising along I-84 in Oregon on my way up to Washington (and when I say "cruising" I mean "doing my best imitation of a jet because I was flying") I get pulled over. On long drives it's hard to sit at the speed limit when all you can think about is making good time. I had to make up time becuase of an hour snow delay way back in Brigham City so you can imagine what I was doing to make "good time". I'm usually pretty vigilant about looking out for radar patrolmen, but on I-84 in Oregon it is pitch black with no highway lights anywhere. Oh yeah, one other thing, the speed limit is 65 all throughout Oregon, even if you're on a 5 mile straightaway in the middle of nowhere with about 2 other cars in sight.

So I'm flying along and I pass a police car. I know I'm done. No way to hide it, no way to put on the breaks and slow down to even remotely close to the speed limit. Flat out, red-handed in-the-cookie-jar caught. I generally go about 5-10 over as most people do, enough that if I was within distance of a police car I could simply let off the gas and be within range; but on this night as I was an hour behind on a 9-hour drive I let the lead foot get the best of me.

The officer was nice about it, marked me at 85 instead of my true, faster, not-to-be-acknowledged speed, so because of his "break" (and I say that meaningfully as he noted to me that without his "break" the ticket would have run upwards of at least an additional $200) the ticket is "only" $255. I had no idea tickets were so expensive. Good thing I had the seat belt on or it would've been another $100.

Yes, no need to ask, my wife was furious. She doesn't like me doing these long drives anyway. I'm officially in the doghouse this week and I'm not even home to do anything.

But I do have some good news. . . I just saved a buttload of cash on my car insurance! Ha ha ha! Seriously though, I just switched to Progressive 3 days ago and saved like $250! I'm sure all of that savings will swiftly revert back to no savings after my ticket is tacked on the record for my next quote in 6 months, but still, plug for Progressive.

I hate Oregon.

Postscript:

Thanks to my cousin Brad for his comment as he reminded me of the other thing I hate about Oregon. You can't fill your own gas! That is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life! I've filled up once in Oregon, and I will never fill up in Oregon again! I now fill up right on the edge of Idaho and right on the edge of Washington coming back. I pull in right before Washington one night and the lady basically attacks my window! She tells me in Oregon I can't fill my own gas, even though I try to get her to let me five times. What type of morons in the state legislature thought up, "Hmmm, what can we do to make a good news story about creating more jobs but actually add nothing of value to society? I know, make a law that somebody else has to fill up your gas! Thereby creating more jobs!" Stupid.

I hate Oregon.

7 Random Things

2008-10-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

My cousin said I was "tagged" and while I won't forward it (I don't forward emails so I won't forward this) I don't mind receiving forward emails. I still owe a few memory explanations as well, most notably to my friend Butter, but those are forthcoming as I continue to gather my thoughts weeks later. 7 random things that, if you know me, you probably already knew:

1-I'm a fitness/health fanatic, yet I'm fat and I eat the worst foods possible. Rachel probably knows this best (obviously she probably knows all of these things best being my wife and best friend!) I know EXACTLY what is needed to be in superb shape. I could tell you the perfect diet to rip you into shape in no time at all. I love reading about health and fitness: magazines, articles, books, etc. I've studied them all and I continue to read about it. So why am I so fat and out of shape? Well, there's one little problem: I love to eat! I love to eat pizza, hamburgers, french fries, donuts, drink soda, cake, ICE CREAM, bread, and everything else fattening and unhealthy. I keep saying "someday" but that day hasn't arrived yet.

2- I'm a huge reader. Speaking of reading fitness articles, I read pretty much everything. I love reading the news, books, magazines, etc. I could read the internet all day every day finding different articles about various random stuff (obviously after an exhaustive list of sports articles). When I worked for Comcast and really DID read the internet all day I pretty much had espn, sports illustrated, cbs sportsline, foxsports, desnews, sltrib, cougarblue, cougarboard, jazzfanz, realgm, and a few other .com sports websites memorized (seriously, I could've given you the inside scoop on hockey, which I don't even remotely care about).

3-I can't grow a good beard. My facial hair sucks (Rachel hates it anyway). I can't grow a full beard, it just grows long and ugly, not thick, so I pretty much can't grow a beard or a goatee, but I can grow a sweet mustache! I also have red facial hair which I think is weird.

4-I love music videos. I've written this before but I LOVE music videos. When I was little early morning Saturday had "Saturday Morning Videos" on one of the channels. Then in my teen years we had "The Box" which I would watch all night while working the graveyard shift at Pepperwood. (I never had MTV/VH1 growing up). Now I pretty much religiously watch the VH1 top 20 countdown on saturdays unless my cougs are playing. Even if I don't like the song that much, I think videos are cool. I always have ideas of what I would want to do for a music video.

5- I still daydream about playing in the NBA, the NFL, the Majors, etc. Hey, it could happen, right? 27 year-old fatty's make the leap all the time! Just kidding! Well, just kidding about me making some miraculous leap to a pro sports team, not kidding about me daydreaming. I know, I'm a loser!

6-Self esteem booster! I've been told multiple times by different people that I am the smartest person they know. (Totally conceited to write that I know, but hey, I just admitted that I daydream about playing in the NBA too). This is seriuosly the biggest compliment I've ever received in my life, I totally hope I can compliment people and make them feel as happy as I did when I was told that. I'm not really that smart, I attribute it to my mass amounts of trivial knowledge gained by endless reading of articles as mentioned above.

7-I love Bacon! Seriuosly, if you know me. . . Bacon, enough said.

Of Basketball and Cristian Mason

2008-09-22T20:20:00.001-07:00

True to my word (even though I only got a couple suggestions) I received a FANTASTIC, ALL-TIME memory from my cousin Brad. As I grow older, my memories of being really young obviously grow fuzzy and more general; it's hard to remember specific events rather than what I generally did every day. Well, one memory will remain etched in my memory with HD clarity for life: the day Cristian Mason hacked a loogie on Rocky Bowlby.

Everybody in the neighborhood passed the summers playing basketball on my hoop in my front yard (for reference purposes- this is the hoop in Sandy on Borg Drive-where I lived until I was 12). A few other kids had hoops on the street, but mine was the only one that adjusted up and down; obviously, we lowered it to 7-8' so we could dunk.

The neighborhood group was pretty unique in that we spanned a large age-range. I was roughly 10, and my cousin Brad and Cristian Mason were 14-15 range, with other kids in between somewhere (Josh Clark, Nate Carlson, Travis Weis, Seth & Travis Baker, etc). I say this is unique because I know when I was 15 I would have never spent 5 minutes with a ten year old (I did indeed think I was pretty cool becuase I had friends that were in Junior High!) I do note that Brad, Cristian, and the other neighborhood kids hadn't necessarily grown to their life-size at 15, but I for some reason was freakishly huge at that age (I reached my life-size height, but not life-size gut :), by 7th grade). All in all on any given day we had quite a few kids playing basketball in my front yard in the summer time.

One kid that usually wasn't playing with us was Chase Bowlby. For some reason, us being jerk kids as we were, we never let Chase play with us. I'm convinced looking back that it was because he was just a couple years out of the acceptable age range; he being 8 and super-small compared to my being 10 and super-huge (again, with all other guys being generally older than me). Living only a couple doors up the street, he always came down to play, and we'd always make him sit and watch (I write this thinking how I'd kick the bejeezes out of punk kids that wouldn't let my kid play with them. . . that will become relevant later).

So one day, we were playing ball and not letting Chase play as usual. Chase's dad Rocky came home from work, saw his son crying about not being able to play, and decided to come give us all a talking to about excluding him from our game. I don't remember what words were said exactly, but I do remember Cristian Mason took it upon himself (being the oldest of our group and the Bishop's son, he had more clout to say what he wanted than anybody else) to defend our actions. He was even so brash as to start yelling at Rocky. Rocky kind of got in Cristian's face (again, looking back, what was he going to do to a 15-year old kid besides yell at him? I say nothing.) and then, all-of-the-sudden, Cristian hacked up a loogie and launched it right onto Rocky's suit!

Now, reread that last sentence of that last paragraph from two different perspectives: once as a kid witnessing an all-time demoralizing insult, and once as an adult witnessing the uttermost disrespectful act a kid could possibly pull. I note that as I distinctly remember this incident launching Cristian into legendary status among the neighborhood boys, but looking at it years later from the perspective of an adult potentially being more impressed with Rocky for resisting the instinct to just knock the punk kid out (Seriously, if a teenage kid hacked a loogie on you, is it even possible that you wouldn't knock him out? I didn't think so).

Rocky didn't knock him out, but he was infuriated, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO DRY CLEAN THIS SUIT?!!!!! I JUST HAD THIS SUIT DRY CLEANED FOR $15!!!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!!!" I assume $15 was a lot then, but regardless of the price, I've never seen somebody so mad. Needless to say, basketball was over for that day, but the legend of Cristian Mason lives on!

What a memory! I moved away a couple years later, as did lots of other kids from that street, including Cristian, Brad, and Chase. The lady that bought our house took out the hoop so when I drive by today my fondest memory is gone. I hope we didn't cause any lasting damage to either Rocky or Chase. I know Rocky hit it huge with dental insurance so I'm pretty sure things worked out just fine for him and Chase. Still, what mean kids; even though I didn't perpetuate the act, I can feel karma waiting for me when Cannon is 8 or so, for some punk kid to launch a loogie on my suit. He better have $15 handy!

Memories

2008-09-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I generally blog about my memory of something as it's triggered by something happening "in the now" if you will. Anyways, my cousin posted something similar to this a couple months ago and I thought it was interesting, but I'm going to add a little bit of my own twist to it.

His post (my cousin Aaron's) was something like this: Post a comment of a memory you have with me, any memory, whatever you want, whether you've known me forever or just a short time. He noted he would come to your blog and post a memory of you too if you made this same type of post. I will do the same but what I'm really going to do is if you post a memory I will write my own blog post with my own viewpoint of that experience-whatever it is. If this idea is totally lame you can tell me that too, but I kind of have a goal to start writing more often as I enjoy writing, but every time I think about it I feel like lately I'm getting a writer's block of sorts; maybe something like this will get me on a roll.

Fight Night!

2008-09-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

I play basketball on Wednesday nights with my friends whenever I'm in town (which is not a lot lately). After we're done at about 10:30 we head over to the gas station, buy some drinks (mine is usually free as I've undoubtedly dominated somebody else, which in turn means I've earned a free drink on their dime:) ) and sit in the back of Britton's truck and hang out like some high school boys for a few minutes. Hey, we've even had some high school girls pull a u-turn to swing back past us to check us out! (After they saw we were a bunch of fat, 20-something married men instead of teenage boys they quickly took off--we admitted that it is unusual at 11 pm to see a group of grown men hanging out like this).

Anyways, that is not the point of the post, I'm just rambling. This past Wednesday we were talking about all of our old-time fights, post-game brawls, etc. After I left I got to thinking about fight night, definitely one of the funnest nights I've ever had.

If you've ever read my blog, it will be easy to picture the scene, as it is basically the same for any memory that related to teenage years---a bunch of dudes hanging out on a weekend night with no girls and nothing to do. We were at Jacob's house causing a ruckus. A couple guys start wrestling around and another decides to come in as a third party and deliver a devastating cheap shot elbow to the back! Hilarity ensues as we all start laughing at the tool who just took the blow (I can't remember who it was). Jacob's mom kicks us out of her house becuase we're causing too much ruckus, but now our adrenaline is all pumped up and we need to have some type of "fight club" night immediately. Ben offer's his house up as his parents aren't home. . . it's on!

The rules were as such: 1) no hitting the face. We formed a cirlce in Ben's front room, Kyle and I would usually get the action going by jumping in the middle and starting to fight, then other guys would jump in to try and cheap shot us: elbows to the back, knees to the thigh, kidney shots, stomach blows, etc. Even though you were in pain, it was so fun becuase everybody would jump in. . . while you were receiving a cheap shot to the back, you could turn around and deliver your own cheap shot to somebody else! Jeff started taking too many shots to his thigh; after a round of brawling he pulled up his shorts to reveal a monster bruise that pretty much covered the whole side of his thigh. Once we saw the weak spot, everybody was gunning for it the rest of the night. During one round I grabbed him and went in to knee him in the thigh once again; already in pain, he moved his leg outward to avoid the blow to the thigh, so instead he took a knee to the nuts! That floored him for a while, we outlawed knees or punches to the groin immediately after that:).

Once while standing on the side, Ben came up and stood in the middle of Kyle and I, then proceeded to extend his arms to both sides and land direct hits in both of our chests. He ran, we caught him, we pummeled him.

Highlight of the night, Chris Johnson was the only guy there who didn't participate. He stood on the outside of the circle up against the wall all night. We all tried to get him to come in and fight but he refused, instead just watching all night long. After a couple hours we were all beat (pun intended!) and laying around on the floor moaning in our pain. Whether he thought he was being funny or thought it was his opportunity to act tough, I don't know, but suddenly he jumped in the middle of the room screaming, "Bring it on!" There were no cheap shots to anybody else on that round, just all 10 or so of us pounding Chris Johnson. If somebody had walked in they would've thought we'd grabbed a guy off the street and dragged him in to beat him up. So classic!

I remember waking up the next morning with all types of knots in my back from all the elbows I took the night before. I was sore for a couple days. We tried to recreate the fight night multiple times after that, never to the same effect. I'm sure now it'd end up with somebody breaking a rib or something (I didn't get hurt that night, but I of course dislocated my shoulder on nearly every other night we attempted it). Teenage boys and fighting, too prime!

Football is King!

2008-09-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago (pre-August 30th, Yes I know the exact date and you'll see how that comes into play in a second) my wife lamented, "Ohhhhhhhh! I'm so mad! Starting this Saturday you're about to become worthless for four months!" Why was I about to become worthless on Saturdays (and Sundays to a large extent, besides church of course)? Because that coming Saturday, August 30th, was kickoff day for the football season. I dare say 90%+ of males who read that last sentence had the following phrase pass through their mind, "YOU KNOW THIS!!!"

Yes, football is king. Even I can admit that, and I tout the Utah Jazz as my favorite team. I've learned over the years that the Jazz are my #1 because I follow them year-round, even in the offseason I'm always looking for news. My buddy Gerry, on the other hand, will call me in April-when football is farthest from my mind-to update me on some sophomore in high school who BYU is recruiting for 5 year from now (post-mission of course). That tells me I'm a Jazz guy; however, football is most definitely #1A. I pretty much only like the Jazz and no other NBA team or any other level of basketball. I LOVE football on every level: high school, college, and NFL.

If a football game is on, no matter what the level, I'm watching it until the end. In this past week while I've been out of town here in Washington I've watched college games, pro games, even a high school game of some USC-bound quarterback. I don't care, I love every second of it.

Rachel is so mad about Saturdays becasue she knows who is the King of the King of Sports-BYU! Two years ago, she wanted to spend Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls with her family. As soon as she suggested that, I called her Aunt in October (plenty of notice of course) to ensure she had CSTV so I wouldn't have to miss the BYU-Utah game; otherwise, she would've been spending Thanksgiving solo in Idaho Falls. Her aunt said she had it. . . she later realized she didn't have it and promptly added it to her satellite package before we came up, knowing the consequences of such a mishap could have been devastating. If I would've missed watching the Beck-to-Harline catch live, I don't know if I would've ever been able to return to Idaho Falls.

Football is so great, even playing pretend football is great. Yes, I'm talking about fantasy. Fantasy football makes games you would not usually care about (wait, that doesn't happen anyways) very interesting if you have a fantasy player on one of the teams. I play in multiple fantasy leagues, but the one I care most about is my espn league with my boys. There is nothing like smack talk all week long and glorious victories that players who actually do things on the field produce for me (two-time defending champ!). Again, "YOU KNOW THIS!!!"

Why is football so huge? I am convinced it is the scarcity factor. Only one game a week, only a few months of the year. Baseball and basketball have so many games that missing a few here and there is no big deal, but missing even a single game of the BYU season means missing them play that team for the entire year. If I miss us play UCLA this Saturday, when will I see that again? Granted, it's a rare situation where they're playing for the 3rd time in a year span, but usually missing any given game means waiting at least a year, and in non-conference games potentially waiting indefinitely, for the next game. I've missed two BYU-Utah games in my life, the two years of the mission, including the final game of Lavell's career, and I can pretty much guarantee I won't sacrifice that game again if it's at all within my power. Men across the state concur with an "amen brother!" All of this same scarcity applies to the NFL. I don't even have a favorite team, I'm pretty much happy to watch whatever game is on, whenever.

I am worthless on the weekends for a few months, and for that I apologize to my wife, who I love with all my heart. How do women put up with us?

My First Pair of Nike Shoes

2008-08-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

It all started in the 3rd grade. We were shopping at the usual Payless for a new pair of shoes, a rare and momentous occasion for me. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never in my life obtain a pair of name brand shoes, a la Nike, Adidas, etc. so I had to find the most discreet pair of "Pro Wings-Eagles" available to hopefully just mesh in with crowd. I found a nice pair that were pretty much straight black; they could've been mistaken as any brand, right? Wrong. . . my dad finds a pair of $6 clearance shoes, silver and neon orange, with velcro straps, and announces he has found my new pair of shoes. If you couldn't guess, I cried that night.

It took months of convincing friends at school that I didn't pick my shoes voluntarily. Rather, they had been forced upon me; a cruel reminder that I lived in a dictatorship, not a democracy.

Springtime came, and as my feet were growing ever so slightly, I started to scour the weekly Sunday newspaper ads looking for a deal on new shoes so as to get rid of the velcros, still worn daily as if wearing a scarlet letter that screamed, "I am a loser!" Then came the night of reckoning. . . a night that changed my future forever.

I had found the pair of my tempered dreams. Like I said above, anything Nike, Adidas (my favorite two brands) was out of the question. The new dream was just to get something with laces. I found a Fred Meyer ad that advertised some McGregor's (FREAKING McGregor's for crying out loud! Does anybody even recognize that brand? I didn't think so!) for under $20. I took the ad over to my mother (avoiding dad at all costs of course) hoping she could pick them up for me and face the wrath of my father herself. I even offered to accept the shoes as next year's school shoes in advance.

"Whaaaaaat!!!!!!!!" My father came in, eavesdropping on my plea to my mother. I was too late, I had committed the unpardonable sin; being ungrateful for my 8-month-old-neon-orange-velco-$6 excuse of shoes. "You don't like the shoes we get for you, fine! From now on you will buy all of your own shoes and clothes!"

Tears flew freely to the pillow that night. I can't remember breaking down that hard for that long before or since. Was I so upset that I peed the bed that night? I don't know. It could've happened. I don't really remember. It was a long night of suffering, that's all I can say.

My current employment situation was as such: $2 a week for vacuuming and washing both our truck and our minivan. Not exactly employment that I would call gainful. My grandparents came to the rescue and offered to have me mow the lawn once a week. The original deal was $5/week, but the envelope each week seemed to gradually climb until it hit a consistent $10/week. $10/week about 3 1/2 months worth of summer to get enough money saved to buy next year's school clothes. At the end of the summer (after tithing of course:) ) I had about $100, I and knew exactly what I was going to do with it.

The shoes were at the Shopko there in Sandy on 9400 South. $50 for Nike high-tops, white and hot pink (ok so I still had some "neon" shoes. This was the early 90's). Every time I would go in to Shopko I would go make sure they were still there. I had waited all summer for this moment; the moment my tempered dreams vanished and I achieved the ultimate dream of Nikes. (The words of the Sandlot if you will. . . "Shoes guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher. PF Flyers" but in my case of course Nikes). I admit a short sense of hesitation as I realized that I was dropping 1/2 of my summer's savings on a pair of shoes with still pants, shirts, etc. to buy, but only a moment of hesitation. It was one of the most glorious moments of my young life. I have a picture in my scrapbook from my first day of fourth grade, and every time I see those shoes I smile, knowing I was heading to school in style (the MC Hammer pants worn in that picture remind me I was actually not heading in style, but I digress).

Ever since that first summer right before I turned 10 I have bought all of my own clothes, shoes, etc. I have always said all growing up that I would never make my kids wear shoes they didn't want to wear, the cost be damned. Interestingly enough, as an adult I rarely buy shoes because I'm so cheap now that I don't want to shell out $50 for shoes, but I refuse to buy the cheap shoes as a matter of principle from my young experience. (Sidenote: I'll buy any clothes from anywhere. I'm not "above" any shirts, pants, etc. from any store. I'm just weird about shoes).

So there we were this morning at Famous Footwear, looking at a pair of $25 shoes on the clearance rack for Cannon. Rachel had a couple coupons so they were $10 off, in the end making them comparable to any Payless-priced shoe. I was having a hard time swallowing dropping any amount of money for shoes that will be worn for only a few months before he grows out of them (hmmm, sounds familiar). All Rachel had to do was remind me, "Didn't you say you would always let your kids wear nice shoes no matter what because you were so mad about it when you were a kid?" Once she brought that up, the shoes could've been $100, we were getting them. I was a few weeks shy of my 10th birthday when I got my first pair of Nikes, Cannon is a week after his first birthday and only a few weeks into walking. He kept the shoes on all day. I told Rachel it was because he knew he was walking around in style.

Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-07-26T14:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday on all the websites there were announcements that Randy Pausch had passed away. Randy was a professor of computer science at Carnegie-Mellon University that famously gave a "Last Lecture" last September. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had only a few months to live. I had actually seen the book at Barnes & Noble with intentions to read it after I finished my current book. I was intrigued that his passing received so much attention, so I investigated this "Last Lecture" further. It has been viewed over 4 million times on youtube, so indeed it was clearly an inspirational talk. I took an hour out of my time today to watch it and reflect.

The lecture was centered on three points: 1) achieving your childhood dreams, 2) helping others achieve their dreams, and 3) lessons learned from both. The lecture was definitely inspiring, considering you were watching what a person really would say as their final thoughts because he really was anticipating death. He even admitted at then end that the real purpose of this presentation was to present his thoughts to his kids, not the crowd. However, what I've been dwelling on this past hour since is the first section, achieving your childhood dreams. He spoke about how he either did or didn't accomplish what he dreamed to do as a child. Most dreams he did accomplish, which was inspiring. I've been contemplating my childhood dreams and realizing that I hadn't achieved them all, which is kind of depressing, but you can't win them all. Maybe I can find some inspiration through my own self-analysis. Ladies and gentlemen, the childhood dreams of Brandon Ball. . .

Become the School President- I had this "dream" at every level, elementary, middle, and high school. In elementary school you didn't run for a certain position, they just slotted you according to vote count. McCall Bowen had one of the funniest speeches ever (which I went on to copy when I gave my speech for 8th grade President in a new school and new city) so I didn't win President but I did become the Sectretary. Copying McCall's speech in 8th grade propelled me on to victory (obviously with the help of some influential friends) so I did achieve my dream in 8th grade. In high school, I ran and won VP sophomore year, but when I went for the big score Senior year, I lost. It was a pretty crushing blow and truly a life lesson in humility. I was certain I would win, only to lose, and I can promise you at my tennis match that day after school at Hunter High School, Zach Stringham (my doubles partner) the opponents, and everybody else in attendance knew something had pissed me off that day (but we did come from behind to win the match!). Funny how specific events in life stay with you forever. To that point it felt like one of the biggest failures in my life, even though it was for the most part out of my control. One of the many quotable lines from Randy Pausch's speech was that "Brick walls are there for a reason." This was a serious brick wall that I had to push through and learn from. Interestingly enough, I'm sure it worked out better for me than had I won. I became really super tight with my group of friends during my Senior year and had I been the school president I could've conceivably hung out with a different crowd altogether, thereby ruining the multitude of spectacular memories I have from that year.

Become a Teacher-All growing up I wanted to be a teacher. I have distinct memories even in elementary school of wanting to be a teacher. Each year I would decide that I would like to teach the grade that I was currently in because that was the best grade ever. Obviously, my final teaching dream, which I still have today, is to be a high school teacher. Partly because of Mr. Randall, my favorite teacher at Copper Hills, partly because of the opportunity to coach sports, a la Mr. Price. I still have aspirations to be a teacher someday in a high school setting, but I always knew, even from that early age, that teaching is not as financially rewarding as I would want my career to be; thus, this dream took a backseat, at least for the foreseeable future.

Play Football for BYU - Randy Pausch's dream was to play in the NFL. I never thought about fame and fortune in the NFL, just glory on the field at Cougar Stadium (Now LES). I actually never dreamed about being the star QB or anything, either, just being on the team and being able to run out the tunnel with the crowd cheering. I have had a few opportunities to meet LaVell Edwards during my life, and being able to have him coach me was part of the dream, so I allow that to be somewhat representative of the dream. When you're heading in for your second shoulder surgery at the ripe age of 15, college football on any level is pretty much erased from your mind. Interestingly enough, I don't regret not playing for BYU since I really wasn't that good, but I do regret not playing the rest of my high school years. I wanted to go back and I didn't even care about getting hurt again, but parents reminding you of the cost of medical bills is pretty serious pressure to not play anymore (That's not a knock against my parents; just a reality of life that medical bills are expensive. Let's all agree not to tell my mom that I still dislocate my shoulder on a yearly basis at the turkey bowl on Thanksgiving:)).

Be a Drummer Like My Dad- I actually had this dream and fulfilled this dream as a youth. Our band in high school, Soma, won a a local battle-of-the-bands and we even produed a little 5-song tape. I still listen to our songs all the time on my ipod and play along. One song in particular I recorded much differently than the way I usually play it and it still bugs me every time I listen to it. We played a couple shows in some interesting places, even a couple bars. I never thought we were going to hit it "big" or anything; I just tried to appreciate that I was having a good time and that I was literally "living the dream" for a little while. I still have my original drumset and I'll head downstairs for an hour or so every now and then to play along with whatever song I want (this is the true beauty of the invention of the ipod).

Serve a Mission- What LDS boy doesn't have this dream? As a little kid, it's like your life consists of growing up and going on a mission. Everybody I talked to while on the mission basically felt the same way. You don't even realize that you have to live the rest of your life after that, you just have to make it to that point and head out the door. Now that I'm approaching six years of being home, it's still an impact point in life, everything basically consists of pre-mission and post-mission. The sad part is, you don't realize you're "living the dream" until it's pretty much over. The one saving grace for me was some advice I received from my cousin Eric a few months before I left. We were at Lake Powell together and he told me to keep a journal every day of my mission and I'd always be happy I did. In two years I only missed one day, and that journal-packed with both my musings and photographs of people I met-is pretty much my personal crown jewel of my missionary experience and for me one of the highlight achievements of my life.

Now, these dreams certainly don't entail the complete volume of my childhood dreams, but some of the major ones that have popped into my head the last few hours as I thought about this lecture. This isn't a last lecture for me by any means, but it is good once in a while to reflect on life. All the news articles said that this guy was an inspiration and I really felt it watching his lecture. On to the book for me, condolences to his family after his passing yesterday.

The Pleasantville Experience

2008-07-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

OK, I've never intentionally used drugs in my life, but there is one night in my life where I am sure I was high on something. . . the night I went to see Pleasantville. . . in the theaters. . . on a Friday night. . . by myself.

All of my friends know about this famous event and pretty much every time any movie ever gets brought up I get the inevitable, "Maybe I'll go see it by myself like Baller did when he went to see Pleasantville!"

Why do I bring this up? You guessed it, I did it again, but under much different circumstances. I went to see the new Batman today lonestar; however, it was with good reason. 1) Rachel left out of town for the weekend, 2) I got off work unexpectedly at 2 pm, 3) all my friends had either seen it or were still at work, 4) the Dark Night is a man's movie (unlike a certain other movie from the past starring the man who would become Spiderman). So I caught the 3 pm Batman lonestar to kill some of my boring night away and to be able to participate in the conversations I hear daily about Batman. I'm sure I 'll still get ripped but I think I've provided enough evidence in support of my decision today. Well, at least enough to know that I wasn't on drugs.

The Pleasantville experience was a different story. I have no idea what happened or why it happened. My only explanation is that I was high. It was a Friday night, I know because I started out the night at the Copper Hills Football game. For some reason none of my friends were there; either working, coming later, whatever. After the game I knew that there was a party at another friends house, so I had opportunities to do something after the game, but for some reason I was thinking to myself, "I have no friends tonight and nothing to do. What should I do?" During this period of spaced-out thinking, I thought to myself, "I really want to see that movie Pleasantville, but I'm sure nobody else wants to see it. Maybe I should go see it tonight since I have nothing else going on." So I left the game (I'm sure we were losing big), hopped in my car, and went down to the Carmike on 90th and Redwood, which was the "it" theater at the time. Of course for Friday night dates, the place was packed. I bought my ticket, headed in, and ended sitting close to the screen, only a few rows back, dead center with people on both sides of me--giving 1 seat space on each side for the freak, of course!

The movie over, I got back in my car and drove to the party. Everybody, "Where have you been all night?" (This is obviously like 11:30-midnight range now after the game/movie combo). "I went to see Pleasantville." I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. . . people go see movies all the time, right? (Well, yes, just not by themselves). Them, "With who?" Me, "By myself". . . . . the second I responded by myself I knew I had just confessed a sin that would never be forgotten for the rest of my long-lived life. Laughter, mockery, and shame ensued. . . and does to this day.

64 oz. Dream

2008-07-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

Is there anything more unusual than the simultaneous feeling of joy and disgust when you walk into the Maverik knowing you're going straight for the Torrent? On the one hand, you're thinking, "Ah, yeah! 64 oz of sweet nectar straight to the dome!" On the other hand, "Holy crap, I deserve to fall over dead the second I take a sip!"

Obviously the feeling of guilty pleasure overwhelms as I of course give in and go for it! I'm enjoying it right now, and if I let my feelings of guilt for pounding so much soda at once overcome, then I wouldn't be able to enjoy it! So I put those feelings away and gulp down a few more swallows.

Now, on the justification side, it is diet-Diet Dr. Pepper to be exact, the official Ball Family Drink-but there is no way that much soda can do anything other than give you a buzz for the rest of the night (which is what I need to stay up studying all night so that's why I bought it!).

Soda is such a pure addiction, I often compare it to smokers, except I'm one of the smokers who say, "I don't want to quit! I like it!" That's a problem since I should definitely quit (and smokers should too!).

Don't you just love hypocrites who say, "Quit drinking soda it's bad for you!" as they pound, yes, a 64 oz dream. Guilty as charged.

I made $600 billion in 2 hours!

2008-07-21T22:11:00.001-07:00

Somebody talk me away from the ledge. I am ADDICTED to these "work from home" websites promising boatloads of cash and endless free time!

I've been addicted for about two weeks. I was watching an infomercial on tv that promised some outrageous amount of money, so I looked it up on the internet; of course it was a huge scam. The unfortunate part for me of course is now I get to thinking, "there has to be 1 legit work-from-home type business out there somewhere, right?" Well, no. "A little investigation" has turned into hours! Every time I'm on the net I look one up that I heard of and then dig to find out if it works or not. I've had to dig pretty deep and use ingenious google searches to find out the goods on some of them, but I haven't found a legit one yet. Of course my searches bring more and more of these "cash from home" type sites out of the woodwork, and I start my search again.

It's actually pretty frustrating to get all hyped up for "this is the one that works!" only to eventually find out that it's not. The lesson of course is that all of these sites are looking for the suckers willing to fork out the $50 or so for their "secret information of success" and usually ask for much more than that once you're into the system. The moral of the story: if you have to pay to get started, it's a scam, and you're a sucker.

One little problem, I'm DYING to be a SUCKER! I seriously cannot stop looking these different sites up and daydreaming about my gobs of money. As I said above I certainly do my diligence and find out the truth (which means I find out it's actually $50 down the toilet) but I'm still hopeful that I can drop my $50 somewhere! It's burning a hole in my pocket! Get paid to do surveys? YES! Work part-time and still make $10,000/month residual? Boom! Leave your true, legit career behind forever? I'm in!

Brandon Ball= Sucker (Well, not yet, but coming soon)

Death of an Email

2008-07-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

My wife changed her email this week to a new email address. I'm out of town so I don't know the exact reasons why; maybe she thought after five years of marriage she should update her last name on her email. Whatever the reason, I received a new email from her this week from her new address, r.ball@live.com.

It's funny how in this day and age, even an email address can bring memories. Rachel's old address was rachepercy@excite.com. Right after I got home from my mission and we were first dating, we would email each other throughout the day as our little way of "flirting" if you will. She worked at the credit union as a teller and I worked at the now defunct Neighborhood Grant Network (with all the time we all spent on the internet there, no wonder it went under! Just kidding to any old bosses who read this!). All of the emails were usually only a few lines back and forth, but it was fun to sneak in little lines to each other during a long workday. I wish I would have kept some of her messages, but that was back in the day when storage on the free hotmail account was at a premium, so I had to erase frequently as her messages would constantly put my inbox at the maximum storage limit.

I remember one specific day when she didn't email me all day. I got home and called her and she said, "You'll never guess what happened to me at work today!" I say, "You got robbed!" Her answer, "How did you know?!" I didn't of course but she did in fact get robbed so she didn't email me because she was dealing with that the whole day. Being the pro that she was she inserted the little ink-explosion tablet thing and the guy got caught outside not too far away. Crazy how all these little memories start popping up just from something menial like a change of email address!

Anyways, those were good times when I would get a daily (or hourly) note from rachepercy@excite.com. Maybe she'll start emailing me again!

Die-Hard Fence Sitter

2008-07-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I spoke to a guy the other day who told me he used to be a die-hard BYU fan, but now he's a die-hard Utah fan. I'm sorry, you used to be a die-hard BYU fan? Then why aren't you dead?

I hear this phrase all the time now and I don't understand what it's supposed to mean, especially if you change to a different team when the weather seems good. I'm pretty sure this guy was "die-hard" BYU in the glory days, pulled the switcharoo sometime circa 2004 (BYU's low point, the U's peak) and now can't switch back, realizing that fence-sitting is not an option for a true sports fan.

How could it be any different? There are few exceptions for changing your team. First, you pretty much have to pick your team, especially college teams, by the time you're roughly 14 or 15, so switching in your mid-twenties is unacceptable. You can keep your home teams if you moved from some other city to where you live now, and you can adopt a team if it comes to your home town. For example, if Salt Lake City ever gets an NFL or MLB team, I'll adopt them as my favorite team for that sport.

What are the classifications for a "die-hard" anyway? I don't consider myself a "die-hard" for BYU or the Jazz and I've never wavered in my support for either. Does it mean you still like them even when they lose? You have to follow them year-round, endlessly speculating on recruits, free agents, and other moves for the upcoming season? Do you have to buy a lot of their apparel? Are you going to be buried in their gear?

My take (and I don't know how this guy announced his change in loyalty) is that you have at maximum one opportunity in life to make a major "die-hard" fandom change, so you better be sure it's what you want to do because there is no going back. And if you make such change it better be very public for all friends and family to know.

I can think of one change that impressed me (even though it was a change to the wrong side). My uncle Dave is true blue BYU, in truth the reason that I'm such a BYU fan as I never knew of my own father's love for the hated U. Ironically, his sons are both U fans. I don't know which year it was, but Dave took his son Brad to the BYU-Utah game in Provo. Brad chilled in the stands until the 4th quarter when it looked solid that the U was goind to win, and pulled off his outer shirt to reveal a red Utah shirt underneath, thereby announcing his loyalty change loud and proud. Uncle Dave's words for him, "I will never buy you a ticket to a football game again!" Again, terrible decision to switch to the U, but at least it was cut and dry for all to see.

I won't be so nice to my son. If he ever pulls a stunt like that on me, I'll have his name legally changed to Benedict.

Why Men Need a Wife. . .

2008-06-26T08:54:00.001-07:00

I just spent the absolutely laziest weekend of my life! I need serious help because my laziness cannot be stopped.

So I got back from my 2 weeks in Florida Friday night; Rachel had already left with her mom and Cannon out of town for the weekend so I was staring at a weekend by myself. “Ok, I’ll get tons of things done! Especially studying!” I thought to myself. Wrong answer. Get ready for a blow by blow of the most pathetic weekend ever.

Friday night, my mom picks me up from the airport around 8:30 pm. I tell her I have nothing to go home to so she can just take me to her house and we can watch a movie together. I go home to her house and watch 3:10 to Yuma with her and my sister. (Movie #1-great movie! I love Christian Bale and Russell Crowe).

Saturday, I wake up around 10 AM (I’m always good to get up by 10 on Saturday mornings because that’s when the 2-hour VH1 top 20 video countdown starts which I watch every Saturday) and do nothing because I’m going to a movie at 2 pm with my mom, sister, and brother. Yes, that was 4 hours away but my day was centered on it. We go to Ironman (movie #2-which was awesome by the way) and don’t get done until after 4. I stop by Lowe’s to get some fertilizer, fertilize and trim my lawn and mow the lawn of the vacant house across the street (my productivity for the weekend). I head inside for a nice night of sitting in front of the tv.
So it’s around 5:30 and I know I need to prepare my lesson for Gospel Doctrine the next day. Nah, I’ll procrastinate! I need to exercise anyway. I decide I’ll burn a few movies off my dvr list while I’m exercising. I watch About A Boy (Movie # 3-good show. I like nearly all of Hugh Grant’s movies) while exercising, so somewhat productive right? I finish exercising, finish the movie, shower, and think, “I should really prepare my lesson right now.” Nah, I’ll put on another movie! I watch Déjà Vu off the DVR (Movie #4-pretty good, Denzel Washington is always quality) and fold laundry. After it’s over it’s about 11 pm and I get down and dirty with preparing the lesson.

Sunday- the lesson went good as always. I go home teaching after church and help one of our families move some furniture (more productivity!). I come home and tell myself, “You haven’t studied a lick all weekend, get some studying done!” Nah, I hit up what was apparently Ryan Reynolds weekend on Comedy Central and watch Van Wilder (Movie #5-crude and not very funny but for some reason I sat through it anyways), Buying the Cow (Movie #6-I actually fell asleep for most of it so I don’t know if it was good or not—I assume not), and Just Friends (Movie # 7-I actually like this show and think it’s funny). Pretty intense marathon, eh? By then it’s about 9 pm or so and I should probably call it a night. But I check the DVR for any other recorded movies that I’ve been putting off (I mean-why not at this point right?) and decide to pound out The Perfect Storm (Movie # 8-George Clooney, Mark Whalberg, man crushes on both of them, what’s not to like?) to finish out the weekend of ineptitude.

I wish I could say that I was just dead tired after traveling for 2 weeks straight and I needed some type of major recuperation, but really I was just at home alone with nothing to do and no wife to get me to actually accomplish something. Good thing I’m not single, because I can certainly envision myself spending every weekend like that if I was.

Rachel got back Tuesday evening; she wasn’t even home 20 minutes before, “Ok, let’s go to Costco and get stuff for Cannon.” Back to normal, busy life. Feels good.

I love you, Beth Cooper!

2008-06-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

So last week on my vacation I read "I Love You, Beth Cooper" by Larry Doyle, a fitting book to read as my little sister and sister-in-law just graduated from high school. Allow me to say up front that this book is HIGHLY recommended by me to laugh a ton and remember high school (and as everybody knows, I LOVE remembering high school).

Denis Cooverman is the classic nerd-geek-dweeb-valedictorian and during his graduation speech, he announces he wants to ensure he has no regrets, afterwhich he professes his undying love for Head-Cheerleader-Hottie Beth Cooper (trust me, hilarity ensues). How awesome would that type of announcement be from the podium! I remember from my graduation that Annie Smith's speech was funny, but I don't remember what it was about. Other than that, no lay-it-on-the-line announcements at my high school graduation.

Do I have any regrets over the years? I've though about this carefully over the last few days if I had any major life regrets or not. My one huge life regret is not learning to play the piano when my dad wanted me to. My parents started me at 8 and I hated it; after my dad died at 10 I think I lasted 6 more months before I convinced my mom to let me quit. Around comes high school (more remininscing!) and buddy Derek Colvin was awesome at the piano. "How long have you played?" I would ask. "Since I was 8" was of course his reply. What a gut punch.

Any other regrets? Anything I would announce from the podium if given a second chance? Oh how this eats at me! It's interesting because I can think of a lot of things I would say at the time, but now 8 years later I really wouldn't change anything. I've found that most people, even people who have had a lot of bad happen to them in life, say they wouldn't change anything of their past because that is what made them who they are today. I think about if I would say something, then I think, "But wait, would I be married to Rachel? Would I have any kids? Where would I be right now?" and since I don't want any of my present situation to change, I wouldn't want to alter anything of the past either. Crazy how that works.

Back to Beth Cooper. I want to re-read this book and I barely finished it. It reminds me of "Can't Hardly Wait" which is THEE high school/graduation movie for my age group. Basically, (SPOILER ALERT: I'm king of giving away the ending here) the nerd will go on to a successful life and the cheerleader will live the rest of her life remembering the glory of high school. Where do I fit in? I feel like life is definitely successful for me, but I definitely remember the glory of high school as well. I must be an in-between nerd (OK, full blown accountant nerd) with some level of cool (OK, full blown cool as well! You know this!)

I guess I've just been thinking about how old I am since my little sister just graduated a week ago, sending a sore reminder to me that I've been graduated for 8 years! Why do we have to get old? I'm not even old and I've already been saying that for a couple years! What will happen to me when I really get old! It is fun in my current Facebook rampage to see what people are up to and how their lives are shaping out; I can't believe how at one point in life I saw so many people every single day and now I've been years without seeing most of them. I've made new friends too, but none are as close as my friends from the good years of high school. OK, I admit, I'm still in contact with a lot more of my high school friends than the average person, but still. . .

One last story spawned from my reading of "Beth Cooper". The back of the book has a bunch of reader-submissions of embarassing moments from their teen years. I have an abundance of those types of moments, so I'll be happy to share one now.

First-Night '99

I'm downtown with Kyle Butterfield, Mike Lopez (then Mike Orellana), Trevor Kerr, and Nate Hull at First Night. We had bailed on a party at Shelbie Thorn's house to go downtown and "Get Action!" (As previously explained, that meant anything resembling a kiss from a girl) on the New Year. Midnight came and of course none of us had so much as attempted to even talk to a girl (typical night with the boys, eh?). Kyle and Trevor start talking to some girls so we leave to give them some space. They come running up a couple minutes later cheering about how they had just got kissed! This of course makes me super mad and I proclaim that I will get a kiss before the night is over.

We're walking back out of the central area and I spot a hot girl walking down the street with her friends. I promptly walk towards them, then swing around with her and the group of girls and promplty put my arm around her.

"Hey!" I say to her. I'm pretty sure she tought I was going to kidnap her or something.
"So, have YOU have a happy new year?" I ask her, meaning has she been kissed? "Yes, very happy." Was her reply.

For some reason at this point I lose it. I didn't specifically ask if she had been kissed or not, I just assumed she knew what I meant when I said that and I assumed her answer meant she had been kissed, thereby denying my implied request for a kiss. Bad move by me in retrospect.

I start fumbling my words like I do when I'm nervous and my Plan A hasn't worked out like I wanted it to. I finally stagger out, "Where do you go to high school?"
"Tooele" she responds.
"Oh! Do you go to Grantsville High?!" I ask this because 1) we played tennis against Grantsville so I was reaching for any type of connection to start a conversation and 2) I am a complete moron who didn't realize that I had just asked her where she went to high school.
"No, you idiot! I go to Tooele like I just told you!" Her scorn burned me to the third degree. I mumbled something incoherent and walked off. Nate and Mike followed in raucous laughter.

We stop on the sidewalk as all four have a good laugh. Then another girl from our school, Diana Tripodi, comes up and asks what they are all laughing at. They give a quick recap and she laughs, then follows with, "Oh! I would kiss you. . but, No!" then walks away. Scorned again to the delight of my buddies. I didn't even do anything to deserve the second blow but I took it anyways!

What a night. I will daresay that I had quite a few experiences of hitting on girls in my teen years where I was shut-down emphatically. But it's all part of growing up.

"I Love You, Beth Cooper". . . great read.

Oh yeah, I found out a few years later that Kyle and Trevor did NOT kiss those girls that night. Ha, ha, what losers :)

Ticket to Ride!

2008-06-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

Don't have too much bad to say about my experience these past few days at Disney World with one glaring exception: scooter rentals! Holy crap, on multiple occasions I wanted to swear at somebody (even with the thousands of kids around!) at somebody cruising through the massive crowd on a little scooter! Just like the ones at grocery stores, slow moving, loud honking, and beeping when in reverse. Disney rents them out like strollers to whoever wants to pay. It is obvious to me that they are raking in profits just from scooter rentals; these things were everywhere!

Now, if a person is disabled, old, crippled, or something reasonable I think I could understand it. The thing is, the vast majority of the people on the scooters were just fat slobs who didn't want to walk all day. Hey buddy, you NEED the excercise! I'm quite the portly fellow myself but that doesn't mean I'm driving myself around all day. I understand that for some of the bigger people it would be a long hard day to walk that much because all of our family was tired at the end of the day, too; however, people would try to take these things up narrow ramps, bust through crowds, and give you the evil-eye treatment if they think you were in the way! Um, how about you walk like everybody else and then your pace will be the same as the rest of us? They morph from not being able to keep up the pace to being too fast paced because they have this magic motor machine! Again, these are not old or disabled people, just somebody who decided it was worth it to pay the money to ride for the day.

I can't believe how lazy America is (as I eat my hostess cup cake and wash it down with some more of my McDonald's 44 oz coke!). I think I'll go exercise now.

All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi!

2008-06-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

If you knew that line comes from the song "Institutionalized" before just reading it, kudos to you.

Hopefully big post night tonight, we'll see how I feel, but I'm sitting in a Florida hotel waiting for tomorrow to come to get my week of training over with to head back home. I've been down here for over a week already with my family on vacation and now I have to sit through a week of work before I can go home. After this week I will have spent nearly a month of 2008 in Florida! Crazy times for me.

Anyways, on to the purpose of this post. Coca-cola as many may know is the #1 word in the world. That's right, it is a word that transcends languages; basically, we're going to learn that Coca-cola is part of the Adamic language (if you don't know what that is find somebody who does) because it's already universally understood! Well, in the past 9 days or so I've been to Sea World, a Carnival Cruise, and to Disney World (with McDonald's as the exclusive fast food chain of Disney World Resorts) and all are exclusively Coca-Cola. Now, I got over the fact that I paid $30 on the cruise for my 4 days worth of 1/2 can at a time "unlimited" drinks, $7 for my Sea World "refillable at $2" souvenir cup, and $2+ depending on the kiosk and park you bought your drink at from Disney World 20 oz Cokes, can't I at least get a little variety?

Keep in mind this is coming from somebody who loves Coke. I have no problem at all with Coke, I drink it all the time and it is Rachel's absolute favorite drink, but I couldn't help but notice myself noticing a guy with a 20 oz Diet Dr. Pepper and telling Rachel, "Hey, where did he get that?" I'm a big fan of Diet DP and Pepsi as well and considering I was on a historical soda binge (I'm sure I had at least my 2,000 daily calorie intake from soda alone) I would've appreciated some varitey in the process.

What is sitting next to me as I write this post and complain? A 44 oz McDonald's Coca-Cola, in my opinion the best tasting Coke out there.

By the way, the chorus to the song I mentioned above is "I'm not crazy" :)

More from the Journal. . .

2008-05-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

So after all this Copper Hills craze by me the past couple days I've busted out the old Senior Year Journal. I know I haven't written in a LONG time and I'm really due to make some people laugh in life (most notable Lori Hand, Rachel's friend at work) so I've decided to take the plunge with another journal entry. The problem is, pretty much EVERY one of them except the first one I posted is SO embarrasing I get cold feet every time. I've decided that IF and/or WHEN I post these they will simply require some SERIOUS up-front commentary.

So this entry has to do with my Senior Year Homecoming date and the Homecoming Royalty voting, etc. I had asked Courtney Sorenson to the dance (which of course I have a journal entry about) and suffice it to say I thought I was going to be some big stud going to the dance with her and totally kiss her and make her my girlfriend, etc. etc (yes, you guessed right, none of that happend). So anyways, here are the true feelings of the balltrain regarding my ability to "mac" on chics (in this case particularly Courtney, with apologies to her if somehow she ever reads this) and my feelings towards my candidacy for Homecoming King. With my additional comments in italics:

10-12-99-Tuesday
I am such a gay fag. I barely got nominated for Homecoming King yesterday. I got nominated at the last second by the Girl's Tennis Team of all things. Anyways, today was the interviews to narrow it down to the finalists. I thought I did awesome (which I did), but when it started getting late and I didn't get a call I started feeling all sorry for myself. I got a call from Lexi Harlan (student body officer) a few minutes ago. I'm real excited, especially because now I can ask Courtney to escort me in the assebly, that's sure to score some points (Yeah-I couldn't because you couldn't ask somebody from school-my sister Stephanie escorted me). I want this real bad, but I'm sure everyone else does, too. Oh well, I really just wanted to be in the assembly, and now I am, who knows from there (I know, I'm a freaking tool loser!).

I talked to Courtney a little at lunch today. I totally blew it. I acted so stupid, I was in NO ZONE whatsoever. But, I had a plan to recity myself. Nick Zachman aids in her 8th period class with Mr. Randall. He was supposed to hit on her for me in front of the class. I even wrote a poem from this GAP commercial (I still remember the commercial! but sadly not the words to the poem) for Nick to read. Too bad he never did it and when I went to ask Courtney if Nick gave her the poem, she answered "no". I felt so dumb. I was at a low point for the day. Hopefully tomorrow, when I ask her to escort me, I'll have more lines up my sleeve than the empty air I was gasping for today.

Wow, to be eighteen again. That was brutal.

MySpace and Facebook

2008-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

So I don't know why but the other night I basically wanted to have a high school reunion for myself (I'm a dork I know I still live in high school from 10 years ago). Sometimes going through all these blog links you track down people you haven't seen in years and you see what they are up to. I thought it was pretty cool, but in the blogspot world you can't really search for anybody, you just have to get lucky with the trail of links.

So what did I do? I signed up on facebook and myspace! I've always heard they were evil websites crawling with predators (who isn't a predator these days right?) Maybe I'm being too cavalier with my email posted all over the place for people to contact me if they want to. Anyways, I actually found that both of these sites aren't TOO bad; facebook clearly being the better of the two, but on both you can set it to private and restrict access to your page.

So anyways, I searched Copper Hills and found tons of people from the old days. I didn't really send out very many friend requests, just saw that people had accounts and thought, "Oh yeah! I haven't talked to that person in years!" So anyways, a little plug for the two "social networking" sites. All I really did on both was say "go to my blog or email me" so I don't plan on updating it, but it's actually cool to have some sites like that to remember old friends.

Heartbreak!

2008-05-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

Oh, I HATE the Lakers!

Last night's game six loss at home to end the season was one of the worst losses I think I've ever seen from the Jazz. Even though they made it close in the end, the first half was so absolutely pathetic, you just knew they couldn't pull out a second half comeback. I will say watching Memo, AK, and Dwill hitting a combined 5 three pointers in the final 2 minutes was pretty exciting, but I'm just sick to my stomach even thinking about it a day later.

This was a championship opportunity lost. Game 5 was the real killer when they didn't pull one out in LA, but they seriously had the makeup of going all the way if they could get over the hump of Jazz versus Lakers Plus Refs/David Stern. I can't get over how the traitor Derek Fisher had 20+ steals on the series and from what I saw was called for exactly 1 (read: one!) reach-in foul. I can't get over the fact that Kobe shot over 90 foul shots in the series. 90 foul shots for one player! If he's got fouled enough for 90 foul shots, the dude shouldn't even be able to walk he would be hammered so bad; sadly, a stray breath in Kobe's direction equals a foul. I'm expecting David Stern himself to be at Team USA Olympic practice this summer, tallying up whoever fouls Kobe during practice and awarding him fould shots to start the game when he faces those teams next season. What a joke.

Another huge factor was the scheduling. I know we won game 4 last Sunday in our first home Sunday game in forever, but the scheduling was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pro-Lakers it made me sick. The days between games, the start times of the games, all pointed to the Lakers favor. What joke.

Another Laker-favorite was the non-suspension of Ronny Turiaf after he took down Ronnie Price with the flagrant foul. People kept reviewing the play saying it wasn't malicious. Um, pretty sure when you lead with your forearm, then swipe at the head it's intentional. What everyone seems to forget is that the foul was called WAY eariler and Ronnie was just finishing out the play like lots of players do, only to get taken down. Suspensions have been dolled out for much less. Now, Ronny Turaf definitely wasn't the difference maker-I'm just pointing out yet another pro-Laker move by the league. What a joke.

Lots of people want to blame Boozer for a terrible playoffs. He definitely didn't play up to par, but it seemed like something was wrong. (You are saying, "no crap something was wrong, moron, that's why he sucked!") well, what I mean is he was either hurt or something else we didn't know about. Just my gut feeling. Maybe he just sucked. I try to keep in mind that Boozer was the first ever big-time free agent to sign with Utah so I try to give him a pass as much as I can bear; maybe I'm just witnessing the second coming of Karl Malone (Mr. Anti-Clutch). What can I say? I love Malone so I'll accept Boozer's disappearing act for this season. Hopefully he improves.

Last but not least, some matchups just don't work well for us. Basketball is a game of being the better team with better coaching and better players, but matchups also play a large role in victories. The Jazz have never matched up well with LA or San Antontio, but we own the Warriors, Phoenix, New Orleans, Detroit, etc. I can't put my finger right on why we don't match up well with those two teams, but we don't. If we could've avoided them until the Conference Finals maybe it would be a different story, but I'm left here to mope our loss.

Just one, Jazz, just give me one. If I have to live off it like I live off "1984!" the rest of my life, so be it!

Anonymous Comment

2008-05-12T19:25:00.003-07:00

So I get a nice comment from a random pistolpete (profile not posted so I don't know who it is) trying to make some statement about how Malone has a kid. "How do you like Malone now?" he says, "I thought so." Umm, pretty sure you thought wrong moron. What type of loser comes into my blog where I pretty much write down my own thoughts and feelings for friends and family to read and for myself to reflect on in the future and tries to act like my blog is some fan-discussion site? This isn't jazzfanz.com or realgm; if I wanted to fight about Malone then I would post on one of those sites, not on my regular blog. But since you did, I'm obviously going to take the bait and respond. I'm going to go out on a limb and say I can hang with pretty much anybody out there when it comes to sports knowledge, especially current events. You think I don't know about Demetrius Bell, Malone's kid who just got drafted by the Buffalo Bills? Of course I know about him, Cheryl Ford, and any other fallacy of Malone's character you want to bring up. You might have noticed that I chose my words carefully saying that I loved to watch Malone play; that doesn't mean I support illegitimate children running around the world. If I had to keep track of all the saints in the world of sports, I'd end up giving up sports altogether. There are just too many bad guys running around in basketball and football (the two sports I really care about. I mean, seriously, can anybody even name a complete starting line up for even 1 hockey team? I didn't think so). All I can say about Malone and his kids is that I hope he's fixed his ways, which I assume/hope he has. And now my hipocrite confession: As much as I love the Jazz, I love my family and the Gospel more. I've railed on Kobe to my friends about how I hate him because he's an adulterer and worse, etc. but hopefully in reality people who make mistakes turn it around and are truly good people going forward. I would hate to think he or anybody else in any situation is cheating on their wives or having illegitimate children. Nothing is more precious than life and trust; I don't know the full details of either Malone's or Kobe's situations, but again I hope they're good people now. As for on the court, Kobe is the best in the game today but plays for the team I hate the most; Malone is still my all-time fave. Sidenote: one of the best lessons I learned in college was an object lesson where the whole class voted on the punishment for somebody who made a mistake. Right after reading the scenario, the whole class would vote for "justice", but after thinking about it and discussing it for a while, the majority would inevitabley swing to "mercy". Interesting how that works; I started this post with the intention of reeking "justice" on my commenter, but I end up preaching (to myself mostly as far as Kobe goes) "mercy". Just an interesting thought.

Love the Jazz!

2008-05-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, Rachel wrote true. I love the Jazz (I'm writing this after the Jazz even their series with the Lakers 2-2 so that I'm in a good mood while writing. Otherwise, the title would be "Hate the Jazz!")
What is not to like about the Jazz? They are so freaking awesome! I love pretty much all Jazz players, even ex-Jazz players as long as they left under good terms (Read: I hate Mark Jackson and I'm VERY suspicious of Derek Fisher).
My favorite game ever? February 3rd, 1992. Triple overtime game over the bulls. Pippen was ejected, Jordan fouled out. Last game I watched with my dad before he died 3 days later. 2nd favorite, last year's game 7 win over Houston on the road. Watched the game over at Ben's house with everybody. I've never screamed so loud about hating AK47 right as he launched yet another ill-advised 3, only to never proclaim my love so loudly seconds later after he made the 3 which tied the game.
Favorite player? All-time, Malone. How can you not love Karl Malone? I will never understand how lots of Utah people don't really like Malone and profess their undying love for Stockton. You know, you can like BOTH of them! It's ok I promise. Lots of people say Malone wouldn't be the player he was without Stockton. I think that's crap. They were both incredible players who would've been awesome even if they didn't play together. Anyways, I loved watching Malone play. Back in 7th or 8th grade, I went to a game with Jacob against the Warriors and saw Malone score 51 points. Awesome game. We were on the 20th row or so, the bear kicked the actual game ball into the stands right up to us. It landed in some unsuspecting lady's lap right in the row in front of us. Figures.
Favorite current player: Paul Millsap. Of course I love Dwill and Booz (I will never hate Booz becuase he was the first big-time player to come to Utah as a free agent, so he gets a pass on any permanent dislike). I've loved Millsap since we drafted him. He is a perfect Jazz system player and I hope he never leaves. I just love Millsap and I basically have a mancrush on him because he's so freaking awesome.
Favorite opponent memory: I had a great run in high school of going to a lot of games in the lower bowl becuase of some opportune friendships with Nate Hull and Kyle Butterfield. They both took me to quite a few games and those were the highlights of my attendance at Jazz games. One game in particular, I was with Butterfield on the 3rd row across from the Jazz bench playing the Mavericks. The Mavs weren't great, but they had Michael Finley who was an all-star. The kid in the row behind us would yell in earnest to Finley, "Shoot it Finley! Shoot it!" every time down the court. Finally one time down, Finley pulls a sick spin move on Hornacek, drains the turn-around jumper, and then turns around, points at the kid behind us, and says, "That was for you kid!" The whole rest of the game every shot he made he would point over to the kid. The kid was beaming all night. I've loved Finley ever since.

Rachel always gets mad at me for getting so worked up about the games. People will say, "It's just a game!" What they don't realize is that it is more than a game, this team represent us! They represent our city, our state, and to some minimal extent our religion (those vicious mormon fans!). Beating the hated Lakers or Spurs is more than just beating them on the court, it's saying "Utah is better than California or Texas!" and seriously, you know you're thinking that and wanting that every time they play!

Anyways, I could go on forever, just wanted to validate Rachel's post that yes, I love the Jazz. Especially tonight after they beat the Lakers in OT. Just don't ask me after they lose a game. Then, it's "Hate the Jazz!"

The Deodorant Classic of '95

2008-04-30T22:35:00.001-07:00

My mom watched Cannon for us today so I took him over to her house early on my way to work. Being my usual non-observant self, I backed out of her driveway without even looking. By the time I was in the road and looked over a car was basically about to t-bone my car; luckily the person saw me in time and had slowed down. I pulled out and saw that it was Brandon Clough, one of my best friends during my middle school years and who lived just two doors down from me growing up.

I called Brandon right then and we chatted for a second, nothing big. Funny how you stay in great touch with some friends and lose touch with others. Anyways (I'm rambling), the whole way to work I was thinking about some of our classic times in the early teen years.

During my middle school years Brandon and I hung out a lot with Shawn Olsen, Gerry, and DJ McCarty. Mostly all I can remember now is that we played basketball during the day and either Risk or Monopoly at night (Gerry usually won at risk, as anybody can tell you he is a conniving sucker when it comes to that game). Anyways, we all slept over at each other's houses frequently since we'd be up late playing the video games or the games mentioned above. One other common theme of us hanging out was somehow Brandon and I would always get into these wrestling/fighting matches, sometimes pretty heated. To be clear, these fights would end and we'd be cool with each other again pretty much immediately. I never remember fighting with him when just the two of hung out (well, ok, once he shot me in the leg point blank with a bb-gun, so I wasn't too happy about that), it was more of a result of Gerry or Shawn somehow getting into our heads that we were aginst each other, and egging it on until we finally went to blows. I remember frequent battles both outside on one of our courts or late at night inside, roughing up somebody's house.

One particular night will never be forgotten. I'm sure if Shawn, Gerry, or DJ read the title of this post they would know immediately what I'm referring to. I'm pretty sure they were all there but I know for sure that they know the title of this epic battle. We were sleeping over at Gerry's house like any other random night and they were egging us on to start fighting as usual. Obviously this was great entertainment for them, but it's quite clear now that it was amusing for the two of us as well as we were always suckered into it. For some reason Brandon had brought his own pillow up to Gerry's to sleep on, and at some point during the evening he moved it and a stick of deodorant fell out of it. I took the bait immediately, jabbing something to the effect of, "What type of fairy brings deodorant to a sleepover?!" We all got a good laugh out of it, except Brandon of course. No more encouragement was needed from the other boys, the fight was on.

I can't remember a more intense fight than this one. You would have to be able to visualize Gerry's family room but we wrestled around and punched each other for quite a while. Somehow we moved over to a corner beneath a little table where the phone was and Brandon started banging my head into the wall. There was also a little office chair in this corner, which he proceeded to bang against my head as well. I scrapped for a minute and flipped over onto my stomach trying to get out of this corner, when suddenly out of nowhere Brandon whips out his deodorant and screams, "YOU WANNA MAKE FUN OF MY DEODORANT!!!!!" and started hammering me in the back with his deodorant! I was laughing so hard I couldn't even feel him hitting me, which only infuriated him more. You can imagine the other boys eating up the high comedy.

Somehow the fight ended and we went to sleep, but it was big news the next day for any friends who weren't there to be eye witnesses. It was soon to be immortalized as the "Deodorant Classic of '95", the most epic of our many battles that year. Good times with the Clough.

Gullible is on the Ceiling!

2008-04-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

I am the worst! Seriously I totally suck I can't even believe what a moron I am. I believe everything, always, never doubting. Maybe I can just say I have incredible faith, right? I'm really embarassed to even write this but I need to so I can remember it in the future.

So I'm going to share two gullible stories, and let me just point out that if I want to believe something, I make the connections in my head all the way down to the bitter end.

Let's begin.

Thursday at work I got an email from my buddy Jared Selman. It was a cnn.com article from Tuesday that somebody else had sent him. The topic of the article? Snoop Dogg converted to mormonism! I clicked the link, read the article, and was in hook, line, and sinker. I totally believed it. It said he met up with Gladys Knight and loved the Book of Mormon. I made all these connections in my head like, "This totally works! Gladys is LDS, Snoop is trying to be a better family man, etc! Never mind that his latest hit is "Sensual Seduction" and that's the edited title." I forwarded the link to my hotmail account and I was literally seconds away from forwarding it to my entire contact list with some type of pumped up message (that is significant because I have never forwarded an email to anyone). Luckily (or unluckily depending on your point of view) I texted Rachel first and told her the awesome news. She didn't even have to go to the cnn website; she immediately texted me back, "You idiot! Tuesday was April Fool's Day!" I literally let out a cry of anguish as I got the text back. I knew that it was true, indeed I was an idiot. I had got SO PUMPED about this too that it just dragged me down for hours. Rachel kept texting me to make fun of me. All I could respond was, "I suck! I know I suck bad!" And three days later. . . I still suck!

The experience reminded me of one of the worst "gullible" moments I've ever had. . .

First, some background: A reminder that I make connections and pretty much convince myself when I want to believe something. This experience happened in the MTC. Key points to know is that Tommy (one of my best friends) was in the MTC with me, roomed around the corner from me, all of the guys in my "district" knew him well and knew that we were friends, and Tommy loves to lie. Another key point is that I know two Stephanies in this world: my sister Stephanie and Stephanie Stevens; also, I only know of one Jodie from my high school, Jodie McIntyre. Last, I received a letter a few days before from Mark Stubler without the post office stamping the postage (that is relevant as well). On to the embarassment:

So in the MTC we checked the mail like 5 times a day. I received a letter one morning from "Jodie". I noticed that the stamp wasn't postmarked but as I noted above I had received a legit letter from Mark only a few days earlier that wasn't postmarked--so no big deal there, right? Anyways, the letter was from Jodie something (I don't remember the last name) and the address was somewhere in West Jordan. She wrote that she was so sad she couldn't make it to my farewell because she was at some cheer camp (me thinking, "hmm, she must be hot if she was a cheerleader; but she must have been a JV cheerleader because I knew all the varsity from the previous year. But it was October and football season so she must have had something!), she had always had a huge crush on me, and that Stephanie had given her my address and she wanted to come see me in the airport when I left for Paraguay.

Words cannot describe how pumped I was to get this mystery love letter from this mystery girl. Jodie? I only know a Jodie McIntyre but I know this isn't her. Stephanie? It must be Stephanie Stevens! I don't know any other Stephanies that went to Copper Hills! I needed to ask Tommy if he knew who this mystery girl was so I could know if she was hot or not!

I spent all day on cloud nine, telling all the other elders about this random additional hot chick that was coming to the airport to see me. Of course they were all jealous of me, right?

I found Tommy in the afternoon and asked if he knew who Jodie was. His reply, "Yeah, she was pretty cute, don't you remember her? " Me, "No, who did she hang out with? " Tommy, "You know Sara Jacobs and Natalie? Their crowd of girls." (Interestingly enough, Tommy is now married to Sara!). The plot was perfect. I knew Sara and Natalie but I didn't really know any of their other friends, so it was easy for me to believe this mystery Jodie girl ran around with them. "Well," I thought, " this is going to work out great for me." You could've told me I had just contracted gonorrhea and the smile wouldn't have been wiped off my face.

But still, I needed to find out more about this Jodie girl. How exciting! I announced that I would write my buddy Jeff Davis (who was still at home at the time) and he would give me the goods on this Jodie girl so I could be prepared for our airport encounter (which, if this were real, would have been a nice handshake so I don't know why I was pumped). I sat down and started writing frantically; this letter had to be mailed out first thing in the morning! I didn't even notice that my entire district and all of Tommy's district had gathered in my small room. Suddenly I feel Elder Keaton put his hands on my shoulders and shamefully announce, "Elder Ball, I wrote that letter."

I will never forget neither the eruption of laughter that bellowed down those halls nor the vomit taste in my mouth as my stomach tried to reject my heart that had just sunk down into it. Immediately I knew I was the fool. I had made 20 different connections that day making this whole story work in my mind. How could I be so stupid! (I'm sitting here 7 1/2 years later embarassed right now!) I relieve the entire shame every time I think of the experience. Damn Snoop Dogg brought it all back again.

So here's how it happened. Elder Keaton wanted to play a joke on somebody and they picked me. They made up the name Jodi, thinkingly used my sister Stephanie's name as a reference (they didn't know that she didn't go to Copper Hills), and made sure they got hold of Tommy before I got to him--and he was definitely in for the ride. Elder Keaton's only hangup was the fact that the letter would arrive without being postmarked. If I noticed that, his jig was up. Incredibly, like I said above, I received a legit letter from Stubler just a few days before that for some reason wasn't postmarked. I haven't seen Elder Kenny Keaton in years (he went to Uruguay not Paraguay), but I'm sure he would confirm that the joke worked out beyond perfection.

I suck. . . bad!

Free Lunch

2008-03-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

So I made a new friend at work the past few weeks, but I think the main reason he might be a friend is because he enjoys taking my money from me so much. (Sidenote: Rachel also enjoys him taking money from me because whenever I make a stupid bet and lose--which is always--she gets to spend an equal amount of money on herself!)

So we were talking golf and we decided we were going to sneak out for a long "lunch" and do a quick nine holes. I must talk a good game because he wanted to play the nine holes straight up for the wager. Knowing that I couldn't touch him straight up, I managed to adjust the wager to the point that if I beat his score on one of the nine holes or tied his score twice, I would win the wager. From the way he talked I figured he was in the Mike Davis-range of golfers (which is pretty good for those who don't know Mike). I dialed Mike up to see if he thought I could possible beat him on one of nine holes. Alas, no answer (when I later did talk to Mike and ask him that question, he had himself quite a laugh). So out I go feeling confident that my lunch would be paid for. It was the first time out this year for both of us. I had to have one lucky hole, right?

Curses! (Seriously, you know what I mean when I say curses!) I lost bad. In fact, I only had one hole where I was close to tying, but he nailed a 25-foot putt to win the hole outright. He told me he knew after my first tee shot (a duff that went about 10 feet to the left into the bushes) that it was in the bag. I pretty much knew the same.

Unfortunately, due to my utter lack of self-doubt (which is to say my extreme level of overconfidence in my worthless abilities), I did not take my loss and move on, I simply moved to another sport. Basketball! Yes, I wagered on a one-on-one game. I showed up at his early morning ball game, played a couple hours, then faced him one-on-one. Since we all know how fat and out of shape I am, let me just say I was begging him to end it (I will add, however, that he was gassed too, as he couldn't hit a wide open layup for his life to end the game). It was a sorry showing, but I was so gassed after the regular ball I had nothing left in the tank for when it counted.

My saving grace is that I pay up. Words can't describe the grin on a man's face as he sees another man pay for his lunch, involuntarily. Logic would say that I've learned my lesson and I'll stop trash talking. The sad reality is that I'm most definitely NOT ready to do that. Tennis anyone?

Work-Life Balance

2008-03-27T21:15:00.001-07:00

So before I even write about this topic can I just say that I've had like 3 DOMINANT posts lately that I've wanted to post but I've been struck down by the powers that be from fear of offending people. So it's not that I haven't written in forever; it's more that I've written "secret posts" that are now stored away in my heart forever. Ah, the internet, where whatever you write is permanently posted somewhere.

So I'm nearing the end of my first "busy season" as we call it in accounting. This week I worked until 3 am on monday night and 1 am wednesday night. My usual night ends with me getting home post-10 pm. I'm pretty sure if I break down this salary thing into an hourly wage I'm making somewhere in the minimum wage range. This accounting profession has it figured out! Take educated people right out of school, work them a ton, and pay "salary" so you don't have to pay any overtime! I will say I haven't really worked any weekends, which are now pretty much "Dad's time to see Cannon awake", so that's been good.

I'm writing a lot of gripes, when in truth I actually enjoy what I'm doing a ton. I'm learning a ton and I like the people I work with (a key for enjoying any job). I'm not saying that I'd prefer to be at work rather than at home all night; what I'm trying to say is that I'm enjoying it despite some long nights. I'm actually excited for some of my future prospects later this year. Things should mellow out for me sometime in the next few weeks and that's when this "life" side of things hopefully will be able to kick into gear.

So I'm about 3 months in to this accounting thing, and I still feel like it's brand new. This is definitely a major tranistional period for Rachel and me. I'm thinking this entire year might be a transitional period because so much has changed for us in the past 8 months or so and we still aren't sure how to react to it all. We always had "just get through school" in our minds as kind of an "ending point" to our early years of marriage. Now that we've started a family and essentially started what the rest of our lives together will be like (for the most part. Rachel won't work forever. I included this side comment specifically for her so she knows that :) ) I think we are both caught off-guard as to how fast this all snuck up on us.

Anyways, I'm rambling. Basically if anybody's up past midnight and needs somebody to talk to, I'm most assuredly awake and most likely at work so feel free to call for a chat! Careful, though, I might lure you into some boring accounting talk. One positive is that if Rachel is having any trouble sleeping at all, she only has to tell me, "Brandon, tell me about your work" and she's out like a light within minutes.

Live With Your Parents!

2008-03-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

Interesting article in the desnews today about the growing number of adults moving back in with their parents. The article cited a 50-year old moving back in with her 80-year old parents. She acknowledged it was quite the humbling experience, but she needed somewhere to get back on her feet.

(Can I just make a quick note completely off topic? I'm sure everybody has noticed that my spelling has been quite off on most of my recent posts and I blame the keyboard on our new desktop. It's a piece and it doesn't pick up my keystrokes. I've had to fix like 30 words already! Anyways, whatever I can do to shift the blame off of my noticeably bad spelling.)

Back to living with the parents. Somebody posted an interesting comment after the article, noting that our capitalist society is what dictates that everybody live in their own house, even though our houses are huge. I kind of agree with that comment. I know in Latin cultures it is not uncommon for multiple generations to live together in the same home.

I guess I'm writing about this because I know if I was still single I'd probably live at home and I'd want to somehow justify myself for being an at-home adult.

I keep wanting to write that I don't see any problem with somebody living at home after they've fallen on hard times, but I guess the reason for the "hard times" would potentially be a problem. Got laid off from your job in a rough economy? No problem. Don't have a job because you're lazy? Problem. Have a job but you're just stupid with your money? Problem.

Other examples of problems: One idiot comment tried to turn it into a rivalry thing, saying it was stupid Utah fans who live at home. BIG MISTAKE-especially since the spineless loser posted as "anonymous". Even being the BYU homer that I am, it is clearly the kids "down south" who pump out 3 kids on the government dime (which equals my dime) while still in school and then move into the parents house for a couple years of "transitioning" period once schools out. Good call.

I have to say, I started this post with the intention to say it was okay to live with the parents after I felt so bad for the lady in the article who had to move back home for a while after getting laid off; however, I've clearly noted points against living with the parents as well. It's also worth noting that the "problem" points are much stronger than the "no problem" points. Hmmm. . . note to Cannon: You cannot move back in with us when you're 50. Sorry!

Mind of a Teenager

2008-03-09T16:38:00.001-07:00

Rachel and I were cleaning our basement yesterday and I came across a notebook that had a journal I wrote all of my senior year of high school. Wondering what's on the mind of a teenage boy? Pretty much one thing. . . Kissing Girls!!! Yeeeah!!!! Well, then we called it "getting action" so pretty much if any of the boys got so much as even a little peck from a girl they "got action."

Unfortunately, most of my entries talk about my plan to "get action" instead of my experiences "getting action." I'm pretty sure that was the case for most of my friends as well, even though they might tell you differently.

I'm pretty sure I need to throw it away because it has quite the amount of self-incriminating entries. Rachel read it and laughed her head off all night long. She thinks I should post the whole thing on here. I'm tempted, but no. I can't imagine even my kids reading what was going on through my 18-year old mind, let alone anybody else. Luckily after Rachel took me to the dance at the end of my senior year I wrote that it turned out awesome instead of writing something like, "My date with that Rachel girl totally sucked." I probably would've landed in the doghouse for the night with something like that!

Also, it appears that I had quite the amount of really self-incriminating entries because as I thumbed through the notebook I noticed I had lots of pages half torn out. Obviously I went back at some point and tore out entries that I thought were bad or something. Man, if I thought they were bad then, then I'm sure they would be crazy now because I was embarrassed at the entries that I left!

Anyways, Rachel has convinced me to post some entries but I must notify in advance for any who don't know (which is very few people) that my language in high school was very R-rated. If I post any further entries I'll be sure to give a rating up front as a warning. This one is PG-13, with apologies to Mark Stubler (I know Lindsey reads my blog so hopefully she won't be mad either:)). The entry is verbatim with my new thoughts in parenthesis.
12-12-1999
Friday we played Jordan in b-ball. We lost in double overtime (No worries, we won state that year!). After the game I was yelling (in the parking lot) "let's go" to Mark. Some Jordan drill-team chic sarcastically yelled, "Yeah, let's go!" I screamed back, "Hey! You're Ugly!" Her friend yelled "Hey! Show some respect!" Jeff Davis started arguing with them then one said "Why don't you apologize?" I yelled, "Why don't you burn in hell!" She yelled, "Why are you guys such dicks?!" Mark Stubler jumped in right as the Jordan Principle came up behind me and Ms. Garret (Copper Hills VP) pulled up behind him, and yelled, "Why are you girls such sluts!" They yelled back, "Hey! Apologize!" He said, "I'll apologize right after I show you my ass!" Then Ms. Garret jumped in. It was pretty funny, but she was pretty pissed. But we talked to her at the Christmas stomp last night and she said it was funny, too. So it's all right.

I've read this post like 10 times in the past 24 hours and I break out laughing every time. Very uncharacteristic of me to lash out like that at a random girl. Even Rachel commented, "I never have known you to be mean like that." That' s probably why such a menial interchange is so memorable. I'm sure the girl thought she could say something since her team just won. Obviously she had no idea we would bring it so strong! I'm still laughing. I should've been meaner in high school. I would have more funny memories like this.

Oh No! A Church Calling! (Soapbox Post)

2008-02-24T18:54:00.001-08:00

I was called a couple weeks ago to be a Sunday School teacher for the Gospel Doctrine class and today was my first week teaching. I have to say the class met my expectations perfectly. About 50-60 adults sitting in dead silence as I probe for some type of participation other than my lecture from the front. OK, I got 3 people to read and about another 3-4 people to make some comments. So about 50-60 people, 90% of which are sitting in dead silence for an hour and look the other way when I ask for a comment.

I'm actually not writing upset about the lack of participation; it's totally normal and church is not school where you have to participate. Just being at church is enough and whoever wants to sit and listen is welcome. What I am writing about is my frustration with people rejecting callings. Whenever I told somebody my new calling, the inevitable response was, "You're teaching adults! I could never do that!" Well, I'm pretty sure the bishopric were in fact told, "No, I can't do that" multiple times. When they extended the calling (to teach once every three weeks, mind you) they had a look of what can only be described as extreme trepidation. "So do you think you can handle that?" Huh? Can I handle it? Show up once every three weeks and lead a group (LIGHT emphasis on the word "group") discussion? Yeah I think I can handle that. It upsets me that so many people think they can't.

I'm not referring specifically to this calling. It's obviously a huge problem in the church right now. I know last year when Rachel was about to have Cannon we were told, "We're releasing you from primary so you can adjust to your newborn." Well, week after week passed and we were informed by the primary presidency that they had submitted a list of names a mile long and not a single person would accept a calling as a primary teacher. We finished out the year as Sunbeam teachers. In fact, Rachel is still a sunbeam teacher (I was released only becase I was poached to teach Gospel Doctrine) while they continue their search for a new Sunbeam teacher. She has both the kids and Cannon alone during sharing time when I teach and I come in and help during class time.

Is it that bad to accept a calling? I have to say I'll gladly accept any calling extended and I'm even happier when it's not demanding. There are plenty of people who do the heavy lifting, a la Bishoprics, presidencies, young men/women, etc. but it seems like too many reject even simple callings just because they're too worried about having the "option" to not go to church for a week if they're out of town or something.

Anyways, I probably shouldn't even be writing this because it's stupid and I have no idea what's really going on in any one person's life other than mine. I'm basically relying on rumors and that's wrong. OK, now I just made myself feel bad for basically ripping on all my fellow church members. I should repent! And the decision is . . . I'll repent right after I publish this angry post!

14 No More!

2008-02-16T10:30:00.001-08:00

I got a sweet surprise call from my wife Valentine's morning. . . they had an opening for me to come in and get my braces off! I was so pumped I can't even explain. It was only like 2 weeks earlier than when I would've gotten them off anyways but that is of course irrelevant when I could get them off in the next 30 minutes.

So here I am now with spectacularly straight teeth! All thanks to Dr. Spurrier and the Rache-Train.

I pretty much agreed to get braces just so I could say to our kids that I had them too when they complain about getting them. It was a long, sometimes grueling experience but now that it's over I'm glad I did it (now does that sound like somebody describing their mission or what?)

When I was 15 and had my first (and second) shoulder surgeries, I LOATHED wearing my sling around for the 6 weeks or so after surgery. I felt like everyone was staring and/or laughing at me all the time, which is stupid to think because I know when I see somebody in a sling or cast or whatever, I notice it but I don't care and I don't dwell on it. I felt that same way this entire year of wearing braces. Obviously I noticed when other people wore braces, including teens since that was basically what I was reduced to, but I never dwelled on it. And why would anybody dwell on it? Who cares? I'm making my point to myself because what I'm basically saying to myself is that I'm a moron for being self-concious about wearing braces, even as an adult. Funny thing is, these past few days I still find myself not smiling a full smile because I think I still have my braces on. Funnier still, nobody noticed that I got my braces off. So why am I a loser that thought everybody noticed when I did have braces? (Answer: Because you were a loser that had braces on as an adult so people did notice but now that they're off and you look normal nobody notices you anymore.) :) I can say that because 1) I was an adult with braces so I can make fun of my own. 2) 1 guy at work did notice that my braces were off, only after he made a joke about being a geeky adult wearing braces and then looked over at me for my reaction only to have me smile back with the pearly whites.

Now if I could just get my place back at the cool kids lunch table. . .

"I Got Hooked Up"

2008-01-30T20:16:00.001-08:00

I have an inspiration for this post. Feel free to check out my cousin Brad's blog linked on the upper left. He recently posted a "Psychology of Sales and Suckers Theory" with emphasis on people wanting to feel like he got a good deal. I was writing a comment on his post and I realized that my comment was a mile long so I figured I'd just post my own feelings about "getting a deal."

Let me note that nothing makes me laugh harder than hearing people tell me they "got a good deal" on whatever it is they recently bought. I've heard it from friends, family, acquaintance, strangers, and on and on. Lest I forget to mention my glory years at the Comcastic (Oh, memories!) nothing makes people happier than the feeling of "getting a deal."

In my experience, the king of all "deals" is the wedding ring. Especially down in Provo, everybody seemed to "know a guy" that gave them some type of special discount. It was especially funny if I knew or found out that the "guy" they knew was really the guy they met at the mall when they walked in for the first time. Honestly, even if somebody got so worked over that they paid for "rust proofing" on their diamond ring, they'd never admit it when asked about it.

Rings are certainly not the only "deal" purchase. In fact, any type of big purchase will always qualify as a "deal" buy. Bought a new car? A house? Furniture? I can appreciate wanting to feel like you got a good deal on a bigger purchase. I usually take the viewpoint that whoever it is probably did their research and knew a decent deal when they saw it. But telling me you got a good deal on a pair of shoes? Pants? A shirt! If you really want a $50 pair of shoes, just pay the money and get over it.

Rachel can attest that I get so riled up when people tell me about how they got a sweet deal that I make it a point to NOT say that I got a deal when I talk about a purchase. I usually don't think I did anyways, I just hope I paid a fair price.

In case you're curious, I bought Rachel's wedding ring at the Shane Company (hey, 20 years of radio commercials worked on me). I simply walked in and bought a ring. A couple years later I asked a guy who worked for a different jewelry store (Wilson Diamonds) if I made a good purchase. He told me that I maybe could have found a better deal but I certainly didn't get worked over. Basically he said I paid a fair price. Of course, he informed me that he could have got me a sweet deal (obviously the salesman knows what the people want to hear!). I can live with paying a fair price. Hopefully I've sneaked in a few true "deals" in life to counter the multiple times I've been the sucker.

Convenience Store Hold Up

2008-01-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

So if I ever decide to get into the convenience store business I know exactly which type of gas station I'm opening-an AM/PM. They have got the business down to a science-of screwing people over for a little extra profit.

Let me set the scene for you: I walk in to get a nice fountain drink after a long day at work. . . of course the first tiff is that the fountain drinks here in Washington are about 30 cents more than Utah prices. For a cheap-o like me even that is enought to get me feeling violated. I go up to the register to pay and the woman who can't speak any English (NOTE: this is a key to the robbery) points at the total, about $1.60. As I go to slide my card I notice a little note on the credit card machine that basically says "Notice: We screw you over for an extra $0.45 for each debit card transaction." Obviously I reach for the credit card instead to avoid the $0.45 charge. Magically, the one sentence of English the lady does know is, "No credit, only debit." Curses!

I curse myself as I know I only have $1 in my wallet and not the required $2. So now I'm stuck paying $1.95 for what truly should be a $0.99 soda. In the movie theatre and at the stadium I'm prepared for a $5 Coke, but not at the gas station. They are basically saying, "We're charging you an extra $0.45 just for coming in to our store, and we've strategically placed a non-English speaking person at our register so you really can't argue with it."

I finally gave in, but decided I would get $20 cash back and think of it as only a $0.45 ATM fee instead of the usual $2+ (boy I sure get desparate about rationalizing these things, don't I?). Too bad she couldn't figure out how to adjust the transaction so she kept having me rerun my card. For all I know I left there charging like 50 $1.95 drinks plus $20 cash back to my card. Good times.

So that's it folks. You want to make money? Open an AM/PM and charge all the customers an extra $0.45 just for coming in. It all adds up in the end!

Luxury Ride

2008-01-21T21:04:00.001-08:00

I want to ask a question and beg for anybody to reply with some level of relevant answer. How is KIA still in business? I picked up a sweet Kia Rio as my rental for the next two weeks while I'm in Seattle and let me tell you the second I started the car I realized that my Civic is a luxury car in comparison. Actually the first thought through my head was, "Should've accepted the offer to upgrade."

As I sat at the rental counter listening to the guy offer all the upgrades I thought, "I'm driving a 5 minute commute to work and back for two weeks; all I need is something to get me around." Well, I was WRONG! (Rachel will love reading that!) This car has all the standard features. . . from 1985. No power windows, locks, etc. In fact, I'm pretty sure Avis installed an aftermarket CD player just to get it up to 1990's level technology. Just kidding, it's Kia's very own CD player, but I can't help but thinking, "Dude, just give me the tape deck to complete the package!" I don't know why I even care about the radio since I can't hear it over the rice grinding in the engine.

When I reserved the car the website said I would get something similar to a Hyundai Accent. Well I never thought I'd utter this phrase in my life, but as I got into the car and started to drive, I couldn't help but chuckle, "Well, she ain't no Hyundai!"

I shouldn't be so harsh, the trunk is surprisingly big for the size of the car, and. . . and. . . and. . . well I don't need the trunk for any reason and that's pretty much the only positive I can think of. So I'm pumped for two weeks in Seattle with my sweet ride!

Sidenote-I can't believe I was in Florida a week ago, the SLC for the final half of the week, and now Seattle. I've arguable traveled the least of anybody I know and suddenly I've literally crossed the country in the span of a week. Too bad it would've been cool when I was 18 or something instead of away from my wife and child for so long :(

Hotel Pool

2008-01-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

Is there anything better than warm weather? I say this knowing that my poor wife is at home with a sick child in 20 degree weather with daily snowfall :). To be honest, I usually claim to like winter better than summer because when you're cold you can easily add a coat, etc. to get warm; but when you're hot, there's only so much you can take off. . . :) .

Anyways, tonight I hit up the hotel pool. About 8 o'clock at night and still 75 degrees outside. I had just finished exercising so I was pretty hot; the pool was the perfect option to cool down and feel refreshed. I picked an advantageous night since the rest of this training conference is out drinking the night away (even though we have class tomorrow morning early!). I can't remember the last time I felt such pure relaxation: enjoying the refreshing water, watching the night sky, and just letting my mind unwind.

I have to admit that I've been rather anti-social this week but I recognized when I got down here that I really have an opportunity for some alone time. I miss Rachel and Cannon terribly don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that for the past 5 years I've either been at school or work (school + work= people) pretty much at all times with any extra time obviously devoted to my wonderful wife (and now son). There's something to be said for having some alone time to do what you want to do all by yourself. At the expense of being somewhat of a reject down here (which I would be anyways when I politely decline invites to the club) I feel like I've used this time wisely and truly relaxed.

Coffee Addiction!

2008-01-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

Rachel and I have a New Year's resolution to not drink soda at all at least two days a week. I'm pretty sure we do that anyways but we want to drink less sugar (and caffeine) to be at least slightly healthier. I thought we were pretty bad at our little addiction, but I now realize that I was dead wrong. We weren't addicted at all; we merely enjoy soda on occasion.

I write this during the middle of my 10-day new hire training for my accounting job. I'm in Orlando, FL for 5 more days. If you can't tell already I'm suffering from quite a culture shock. The thing I'm surprised about is that it is the coffee drinking (as opposed to alcohol drinking) that is the monster culture shock! There are about 300 people here but I spend most of my day in a room of about 35 people. 5 of the 6 LDS people at this training are in that room with me, so that leaves 30 potential coffee drinkers in the room each day. These 30 people (and I assume the other 269 in the conference) have a fresh coffee or tea with them at ALL times from morning until lunch. About 1/2 that number continue that trend into the afternoon. From what I can see it is absolutely a necessity of life. I had no idea how huge (and important!) coffee was to pretty much everybody. Anyone who hasn't had a cup in the morning (basically in the elevator ride down to breakfast) complains about needing it until they get it. No wonder the owner of Starbucks is rich enough to own his own country.

Seeing what to me is this phenomenon of non-stop coffee drinking has me re-assessing my soda consumption. Problem is, I can look at it in two different ways: 1) I don't want soda to become my coffee in either caffeine consumption or daily "need", or 2) I don't even sniff drinking that much soda so I should relax on my 2 days a week rule! I of course naturally want to select my second point of view in order to take better advantage of the free soda I have down here (I understand that the coffee drinkers could also be over-consuming just because it's there and free). But I for now will continue on my relatively light goal of 2 soda-free days a week. If not for lowering my caffeine intake, I at least need to take small steps in hopes of someday reducing (notice I recognize that I will NEVER actually eliminate) my "soda gut".

Sushi!

2008-01-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

So I started my gloriuos career at KPMG this week. I've worked 3 days so far and pretty much all I've done is stared at a computer screen watching training videos. I've only had a few jobs since returning from the mission and I already feel like I've seen the Discrimination, Sexual Harrassment, etc. type trainings too many times in their various forms. I'm sure in a couple weeks when I'm putting in 12 hour days I'll rue the day I ever thought trainig videos were boring :) But for right now I'm really excited to actually get into my normal course of work.

On to being new at a job. A few guys took me and the other new guy out to lunch on our first day. They wanted to go get sushi at Mikado restaurant! Needless to say I was freaked out because I am an extremely picky eater when I'm eating normal foods, much less when I'm trying things for the first time (which I usually don't do since I'm so picky). So we went in and they told me what to order. The manager also ordered some type of shrimp/tuna sushi thing for everyone. My main meal consisted of your normal stuff: rice, chicken, cooked shrimp; as well as some other stuff that I put into my mouth without even knowing what it was. That is an interesting feeling. The only other time in my life I've just shoved something down my mouth without even knowing what it was was on the mission. Some of the stuff was actually pretty good, and some of it was downright nasty. I must say the "california roll" (a rice cake with crab and avocado wrapped in seaweed in the middle) was NOT good. Still, I'm the new guy so you take what you get, right?

So I did try the raw shrimp/tuna sushi deal. It was actually pretty good! Who knew, eh? I ended up having 2 of those. Overall a pretty good experience. Rachel was so proud when I told her :). It was an interesting day: new job, new food, new people. I'm pretty sure I'll get comfortable with the new job and people pretty quickly. I'm sure more new food lies in my future is well so I better get ready. You never know when raw fish is going to turn out tasty.

(Don't Start With Joke)

2007-12-30T21:41:00.001-08:00

Ever notice nearly EVERY sacrament meeting talk starts with either a lame joke or the person takes a good 2-3 minutes "joking" about how they didn't want to talk but now they're there so "bear with me." Let me tell you something, after hearing an intro like that I am definitely not ready to "bear with you" through 15 more minutes of ramble.

Before I get going on this topic I want to note that there are good speakers out there who prepare, share actual thoughts and feelings, etc. and make sacrament meeting spiritual. End of note.

Seriously, it seems like every talk starts like this and it's getting annoying. I certainly don't expect to hear General Conference level addresses from every speaker, just an honest effort and a willingness to speak. If you said you'd speak, just speak! Don't try to formulate the ultimate-combo "not only did i not want to speak, but i'm going to try to make a joke out of how i didn't want to speak" joke. I look over at Rachel whenever someone starts their talk with either of these options. She always glares back at me for being sinfully judgmental. Needless to say I receive multiple glares each Sunday. I'm sure the sin does indeed fall on me and for that I will have to repent, only problem is I have to feel bad about my anger before I can "repent" and if I have to keep enduring these openings to talks over and over my anger will never cease!

So obviously today at church the speaker started in this manner and I made a "note to self" to write about it. Inserting a cleverly placed joke into the middle of a speech can wake up the crowd and really add to a talk. The key is to not put the crowd to sleep right at the beginning with the lame joke. Now, it's difficult to know how a joke is going to fly in any situation so you can think you have a great joke that drops dead or you might have what isn't even a joke turn into an uproar. All I'm trying to say as far as jokes is PLEASE don't put it at the beginning of the talk, it's pretty much guaranteed that it's not going to fly.

On to not wanting to talk. We all know you didn't want to talk but you didn't want to say no either when the bishop calls. I find this interesting that the whole point of the church is to serve willingly, yet I hear all the time about people rejecting callings, etc. And in the case of speaking, I hear publicly that they didn't want to talk. Weird. Oh well, I know I'm cursing myself to speak soon by writing this post. Look out for my opening joke :)

BYU Master! (AKA Longest Post Ever)

2007-12-20T00:33:00.000-08:00

Today I officially finished my education at BYU. To complete my journey to total, utter, and permanent zoobie-dom I even took Cannon to my final class with me. I must admit I didn’t finish with a bang; in fact, I should be proudly posting my worst grades ever at BYU this final semester (I know what you’re all saying, B’s and B+’s are not bad grades and you are correct). I truly wanted to finish strong, but I already have a job and they certainly aren’t offering me a raise for an A, just the degree please.

Actually, I’m pretty proud that I finished a 5 year program in 5 years. I took a couple summer courses and independent study courses along the way to get it done in time but it was 5 years nonetheless. I feel the average person usually takes 5 years or so just for the Bachelor’s degree; getting the Master’s degree in that time frame meant knowing early what I wanted to do and sticking to it the whole way, no “fun” classes or wasted classes along the way.

It’s a weird feeling that I won’t be going back to school potentially ever again. This is truly a life-changing moment, like finishing high school, coming home from the mission, getting married, etc. Like those other life changing events, I’m sure I’ll grow to appreciate it more and more as time passes. But enough of my sappiness, I’m doing a monster post tonight on my memories and review of my experience at BYU.

Friends Made-I’m counting good friends and not just acquaintances since I have about 100 of those from the Accounting program. Good friends made would total 3: Bo Holmstead, Cody Johnson, and David Ollmann. Bo was my roommate with Gerry and I at King Henry my first semester (more on that later). Cody and Dave were 2 of my group members in the Junior Core of the Accounting Program our first semester in the program. We’ve had multiple classes together over the course of the program and they both still have one semester left. I saw both of them today and wished them luck but I expect to be in contact with them in the foreseeable future.

Funnest Semester-Not even close my first semester Winter 2003. Roomed with Gerry at King Henry, Bo was our other roommate and we had 3 other guys at various stages. Highlights included kicking a kid we called Bones out of our apartment after he soaked a PS2 controller in water! Pretty much this was my one semester of college life before it became all business. Rachel and I were dating but I really only saw her on weekends. Weekdays involved going to school and work, then we would head back up to campus to study at night until about 10 pm and get all of our homework done, after which we head back home for serious Madden or NBA 2K3 on the PS2 until about 3 am every day. Somehow I could hang out like that every night, stay up until about the same hours with Rachel on the weekend nights, and still function with no problems. Why doesn’t that work now five years later when I’m trying to work the graveyard shift this final semester? Beats me.

Easiest Semester-Winter 2005 all classes at the BYU Salt Lake Center. Classes are just easier there to the point that the majority of people who take classes at the SL Center are actually Provo students who make the drive up just to get the easier class. Needless to say I had a lot of athletes in all of my classes. Even at BYU the almighty football player is not exempt from the easy road. I somehow got screwed with an A- in my Old Testament religion class ruining my only chance for a straight A semester at BYU.

Hardest Semester- Fall 2005. First semester of the Junior Core. I know I mentioned this final semester I will post my worst grades but that is truly more for a lack of effort than of degree of difficulty. My first semester of pure accounting all day everyday. I had religion classes at 7 am and then pure accounting from 8-11 every day. I worked all night as well (you’re only supposed to work 10 hours a week during this crucial year, I worked 35). The actual reason for the hardships were life happenings rather than the actual classes. We moved into our home the second weekend of class and spent the next month putting in the yard. To cap the semester Rachel broke her ankle December 8th 2005 right during my finals preparation. We had to board her up at her mom’s house for nearly a month while I was finishing up school.

Best Class- New Testament with Richard Holzapfel. All the religion classes at BYU are actually quite good (If you’re thinking high school seminary class you’re way off base). This class was absolutely stellar, Holzapfel is just a great orator who could explain difficult ideas in simplistic terms. It was a once a week night class and I looked forward to his lectures every week.
Secondary plus for all of my science classes. I HATE science but every time I took any type of science class the teacher was always SO enthusiastic about science you couldn’t help but kind of like it. I’ve never seen any teachers love their subject more than my science class teachers. Especially Geology with Dr. Harris, he would tell you about a rock and how “You’ll never be the same!” from seeing that rock. I still think about him when I look at the mountains and I took that class 3 years ago.

Worst Class-History with Farmer. First day of class he says, “I know you have to take this class and I have to teach this class so let’s just get through this together.” Yes it was s general, required class, but how are students supposed to respond to that type of approach? I’ll tell you my approach, “This teacher, and therefore this class, sucks!” Needless to say I checked out for the entire semester from Day 1 and pulled a B.

Class I Absolutely Waxed! -Calculus! Of all classes that is probably one most people wouldn’t exactly excel. Well, it was a core class to get into the Business School (precursor to the Accounting Program) and it was when virtually everyone I talked to at school would say to me, “What are you going to do when you don’t get into the Accounting major?” My approach was, “Screw every other class this semester! I passed the AP Calculus class in high school I can tax it this time through.” Well, I got 100% on my first test and went on to treat this class like my own red-headed stepchild. Far and away my most deserved A at BYU without any curve help or anything like that. Just straight up domination.

Testing- Reliving my 100% calculus test got me thinking about how I react to tests and learning in general. Let me explain that when I do homework or take a test and get a problem right I literally start screaming inside. I get SO PUMPED when I know I get an answer right I literally want to stand on my desk and scream “HELL YEAH!” In fact, it was a dream of mine to stand in a packed testing center and scream something such as that phrase and see the reaction spread like a wave across the giant room. I only got a couple 100% test scores at BYU I think 2 from Calculus and 2 from religion classes and that’s it. But if I get THAT PUMPED about every single problem imagine how I feel when I come out of the test and see that type of score (you are also free to imagine what goes on inside my head when my score is not so rosy :)) Yes I know I am a total nerd. I make no apologies for it, that’s why I’m an accountant!

**Note: It is my goal to not swear on my blog but I know of no other way to fully describe my emotions in this situation, I really am that pumped! So I apologize for failing to meet my goal. Hey come on, we all knew it would end someday***

#1 Lesson- You need to take risks beyond your comfort zone to truly grow. At the end of each semester professor’s wax poetic about growing both spiritually and secularly. Emphasis on spiritual growth at BYU is a given, but personal and professional growth is more of a surprise lesson. BYU has the deserved stigma of Happy Valley etc. but the truth is all of my professors have extensive national or international experience. None were people that grew up in Zion and stayed there forever; they all lived elsewhere at some point in their lives gaining real world “outside the bubble” experience. I write this as I comfortably sit in my room with my job locked up right here at home sweet home, but the lesson is not lost on me. I don’t think now is the time to leave Utah as I’ve already punished Rachel for five straight years and now she’ll have to get used to long hours and a growing family. However, I do feel a need to take advantage of future opportunities that will materialize to help us grow to our full potential as a family. That will definitely involve leaving our comfort zone and quite possibly involve leaving Utah. That certainly doesn’t mean we’ll never come back, but taking those types of opportunities will lead to a more fulfilled life. I’m writing this primarily for myself to remember this lesson when said opportunities arrive. Will we be pansies and just ride out our nice little life or will we take the leap? Only the future holds. As for now, to BYU, I AM OUT!!! (Yes, triple exclamation point!)

The Truth Hurts!

2007-12-18T22:43:00.000-08:00

Only 3 more actual days of working for the Comcastic. Coming soon, I'll do a long "lessons learned" piece as a sendoff so gear up for that!

On to tonight's "lesson". I've concluded that people don't want to hear the truth, they want to hear what they want to hear!--Funny, now that I write that sentence, all types of memories from the mission pop into my head.-- I've frequently encountered customers that misunderstand a promotional offer, and then become upset at me when I explain what the real deal is. Why are you getting so upset at hearing the truth? You don't necessarily have to accept it, but as Rachel loves to say right now, "It is what it is."

I can understand being disappointed when something turns out to be different than you originally thought, but wouldn't you rather have somebody be up front to you about it instead of finding out the truth later when you get your bill? My policy is to be honest up front and take the short-term pain for the long-term gain. Interestingly enough, one of the key points I've learned through all of my accounting studies is that honesty is the best policy! Sure you might take a hit up front for delivering bad news, but the long term payoff is better than letting people find out the bad news some other way.

Which circles me back to the Comcastic. Would you rather I pretend your misunderstood interpretation is correct to get the sale and let somebody else deal with you when you call in screaming mad about a different bill amount than you originally thought, or would you rather I just get the facts out on the table up front? Let me tell you from the customer service end I LOATHE reps who lie to close the sale and then I end up dealing with the screaming customer later whose bill is not what they were promised up front. So even though it's frustrating to deal with people who get upset with me for telling them the truth, it's actually much less frustrating than dealing with people who have been lied to. Either way you have to deal with the pain sometime, you might as well deal with it up front.

Now, how can I communicate to people in a gentle way up front that "It is what it is"? A lady tonight suggested that I was trying to drive her away from signing up for service because I was telling her the true details of the ever important "deal." Hmm, it is my JOB to try to get you to sign up for service; however, I certainly don't want to lie to you about it. Maybe on my next call I'll let them know about the incredible new "We'll pay you to take our services!" offer and let some other rep deal with the consequences when they receive a bill instead of a check. I'll be long gone by then anyways, right?

Can I Have My Money Back?

2007-12-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

Only a few more weeks working for the Comcastic so I better get in my frustrating caller blogs while I can.
So twice in the past 10 days or so I've had people call in and tell me "I just rented a pay-per-view movie but after watching some of it I decided I didn't like it so I want it refunded." I am BLOWN AWAY that people have the audacity to even call. When I deny their request, they obviously ask for a supervisor, who obviously grants the credit.
2 takeaways from these interactions. 1) why do people think they don't have to pay for something they used? Both times I explained repeatedly that if they rented a movie from Blockbuster or went to a theater and after 20 minutes or so decided they didn't like the movie, they would not be granted refunds (and I suspect they wouldn't ask for them in these cases either). For some reason that "doesn't apply" in these situations. How does it not apply? It's the EXACT same thing!!! (Yes, triple exclamation point!) We provide info on the movie and even a preview, more than what you get reading the back of the dvd at Blockbuster. It's like me ordering a huge salad at a restaurant, eating a few bites, and then realizing "Hey, I don't like salad. What am I doing?" and asking for a refund. Absolutely ridiculous.
2) Businesses today (I am positive Comcast isn't the only company that has to deal with this) have to bend over backwards to customers for every little thing. I certainly am aware of the power of the customer and the importance of satisfying customers in any business, but I feel in America it has reached the breaking point. Customers have way too much power. I've written before that when customers call in to sign up for service I get the feeling they expect me to tell them, "As a matter of fact if you sign up today we'll PAY YOU to take our service!" I guess all I can take from these experiences is that I am looking to pay a FAIR price for whatever it is I want. I certainly don't want to get screwed on the deal, but I don't think a company should have to bow down for every little thing. Or maybe just next time I order ice cream I should lick it all over and take it back for a refund.

Mitt Romney: Faith In America

2007-12-07T01:27:00.000-08:00

Great speech by Mitt Romney yesterday about the role religion should play in America, both in politics and the public in general. Key points included "no candidate should be a spokesman for his religion" and "God should be incorporated into public life". I think members of the church know fully well that Romney wouldn't be on the phone with President Hinckley every day taking counsel on political affairs, but obviously that message had to be reinforced to the voting public. I'm surprised the 12th article of faith hasn't come into play at all in the religious side of his campaign. Even as President of the United States he would still be subject to the Constitution, which he of course is as a memer of the church. We are all subject to the government of the country in which we live; i feel that is a great part of our religious beliefs. Romney didn't bring up the 12th article of faith but I think his speech reflected its concept.

I particularly liked his strong stance on God's place in our country. As we all know it's usually the minority that screams loudest so we hear about these poeple who want the 10 commandments out of public parks and "In God We Trust" off of the dollar. In reality the vast majorit of Americans either support or have no problem with public religious displays. I think his strong stance in support of public religious displays will help his cause.

This was finally, for me at least, a good strong showing that he will not back down from religious beliefs, unlike what I felt were sidesteps in previous interviews (see previous posts on Mitt). He didn't need to answer any specific questions about our religion, just show that he is solidified in his faith. He even mentioned something to the effect of if his faith led to the downfall of hs candidacy, so be it. Bold statement that could indeed come to pass, but obviously he'll be the better for it. I think it was good enough to re-energize his small lead over Huckabee, et all in the first Iowa election.

Interestingly enough, I noted from a few newspaper articles that many of the religious leaders from other faiths who endorse Romney still note strongly that they feel Mormon's aren't Christians. Weird. I'm not sure that really matters to me personally since I know we believe in Christ and that's all that is important, but these leaders seem to agree that Romney is seeking to build on the common beliefs of all faiths, but then reject that believing in Christ is a not a common belief. How does that make sense? Whatever.

Don't Tase Me Bro!

2007-11-28T01:06:00.001-08:00

So the huge youtube sensation right now is the Utah UHP officer tasing a guy after he refused to sign a traffic ticket. My take? Tase him again! The officer probably overreacted a tad early but I certainly would have tased this guy by the end of the interaction. Right from the beginning you can hear the guy refusing to give up his license and registration and talking back to the officer repeatedly. Even after he's tased he's yelling at the officer repeatedly. I love the classic response of someone after they are tased/arrested, "What did I do? I don't understand!" etc. etc. etc. trying to make themselves out as a victim. The kid who screamed "Don't tase me bro!" in Florida who was tased during a forum with John Kerry said the same things right after he was tased. These people act like they were sitting queitly singing a hymn and some random thug came up and tased them! When you're dealing with a cop you might want to recognize that the cop has some authority so you should probably listen to what he says! If you think you're going to win the argument, especially by yelling at him, they'll just look for ways to screw you worse. Dealing with these types of jerks is the exact reason cops get a bad reputation. I'm sure from reading my posts anybody can tell that I get frustrated with people, so how do you think a cop reacts to dealing with these types of people daily? The times I've been pulled over I've been as respectful as possible and the cop has always been formal and respectful as well. I would fully expect a cop to tase me if I yelled at him and walked away from him when he was asking me to do something.

Anyways, there have been tons of articles about this issue in the papers the past few days so I finally checked out the video for myself. My only suggestion would be for him to pop the tase at the woman as well; you NEVER get out of the car unless directed to do so by the officer. Clearly the officer was looking to issue a simple speeding ticket but the "victim" decided it was worth his time and the pain of a tase to argue the issue with him. Next time you'd think he'll pay the ticket because I would dare say nearly all of us are indeed speeding; it's just a bummer getting caught.

Turkey Bowl

2007-11-22T21:33:00.000-08:00

The Turkey Bowl turned out great this year even though a few guys dogged out at the last minute. We ended up having 12 people which made for a good game where everyone could spread the ball around and the teams were pretty even. Couple of fun things from turkey bowl.

I exerted my will as pleased as always! Actually, I guarded Brooks the whole time and he was already faster than me before and now that he's dropped 30+ pounds (and I've probably gained 10 or so) I was that much further behind so I had to either jam him hard at the line or get burned. On the offensive end though I did get in a couple of TDs of my own so not a terrible performance.

Marshall was the MVP for our team in the first game, ending it on a qb rush after the blitz in which he first shed a tackle, then lost his shoe in another tackle attempt, and then rumbled down the sideline for the winning TD. Crazy play. The second game ended with Curtis making a nice grab at the back of the endzone for the other team's victoy. It sucks ending 1-1 but we were out of time, oh well. Catch of the day goes to Gehrke who caught a deep ball one handed while Curtis was holding down his other arm. Run of the day goes to Stubler of all people who avoided Jacob's blitz and somehow toed the sideline to go the length of the field for the TD.

Love how many of the guys pined for flag football so Harrison and I bought 2 sets of real flags so that we weren't playing with socks only to end up playing tackle the whole time. You know, you just gotta play tackle on Thanksgiving. I'm not upset about the flags becuase I actually think they will facilitate playing football more frequently, but there's just something about playing tackle once a year and getting so super-sore that you can hardly move the next day. Nobody got hurt but I might as well count how sore my hips are as an injury because I'll be basically incapacitated tomorrow (and tonight as I write this!). I'm about as far from a pro athlete as they come but I don't see how pro football players can deal with the soreness week after week during the season. Good times at the turkey bowl.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T04:57:00.000-08:00

So what am I grateful for this Thanksgiving? First and foremost, every year my utmost gratitude goes to God for living in this incredible country. Just like everybody else I get greedy and complain about all the things I want that I don't have, but I try my best to keep what I call my "Paraguay Perspective" meaning I don't need anything, and for that I should be grateful. Serving a mission helped put America in perspective more than anything else could possible have. For example, the things I have worry about on this day are balancing my meals since we're eating at a couple of places, deciding which movie I want to see this evening, and hoping I get a solid nap in some time today. These worries are obviously far from needs that are so common all over the world. The fact that I love in a sweet house with heat, air conditioning, carpet, electricity, and every other amenity I could dream of is pretty incredible. Life is good and living in this country is one of the principle reasons for it.

On to other things; obviously I'm pretty happy about having my wife and son in my life so shout out to Rachel and Cannon on being my favorite people and I get to see them everyday. I'm also happy about my health. I'm about to go play (read: dominate!) in the Turkey bowl with all the boys and other than my annual dislocating of my shoulder my health is pretty good. Before I left on the mission I had knee surgery and the doctor told me I had less than 5 years before my knee gave out and I would need a major reconstruction. Well that was 7 years ago and my knee still feels generally really good so I'm grateful for that too (knock on wood!).

I remember being a senior in high school thinking, "There is nothing I could even want right now. I have everything I want and life is going good." Well, I feel the exact same way right now. I'm finishing school, I have a great job lined up, I have a great wife and a stud baby and pretty much everything is going great. How can I not be grateful for all of that? I'll make sure to say an extra long prayer tonight full of thanks; however, being greedy as I am I will have to ask for one little thing to top off my perfect life-as-it-is-right-now. . . a victory this weekend for BYU baby!

BYU-Utah Preview

2007-11-18T21:10:00.001-08:00

I want to get in my early BYU-Utah prediction after yesterday's games. I saw BYU entered the rankings this week (generally #23) after 6 straight wins. Interestingly enough I don't necessarily think we should be ranked even after all these wins. Is my BYU fandom slipping? Like I said in my earlier post I just don't have the enthusiasm for this year that I've had every other year of my life. My expectations going into the season were actually very low; the fact that we will win the conference (come on we are going to beat San Diego State regardless of the U outcome) is definitely a surprise and promising for the future considering our entire offense will be back next year. I figured this to be a building year but obviously we've had success anyways. Max Hall is a developing quarterback and luckily we've had a decent defense and a good running game with Unga to bail him out of his growing pains.

Here's my point: BYU has at most 1 quality win this entire year which I count as TCU. TCU isn't even very good this year but I feel they are better than their record reflects. We should've beat UCLA (I blame the entire loss on Bronco choosing to receive after winning the flip instead of kicking) and I blame Tulsa purely on hangover from the UCLA loss. Otherwise we've played arguably weak competition and they've played good enough to win but not dominate anyone. It's especially hard to deal with the losses this year considering if we had beat those two teams we'd probably be going to a BCS bowl considering the amount of upsets and shakeups in the rankings this year.

On to Utah: Utah in my mind has 1 quality loss this year which I count as Air Force. They were playing excellent against Oregon State before Asiata and Brian Johnson went down and I personally think if moron Whittingham had started Johnson at the beginning of the UNLV game instead of bringing him in at the half they would've taken care of that game as well. Air Force simply outplayed them in the loss and no excuses on the QB issue since Johnson wasn't available and the worthless Tommy Grady knew he was the man all week (if he can beat UCLA why can't he beat Air Force?).

BYU-Utah: So after reviewing the seasons I pretty much think BYU has by far the better coach (excepting his one mistake at UCLA) but actually less talent this year. Our talent is young and will become much better to the point I think we can make a BCS run in the next couple years with Hall, Unga, Pitta, Collie, et al; however, the U's talent this year especially Brian Johnson is better and they have been putting people away unlike BYU. BYU has "home" field advantage which is pretty much worthless in this game for either team since so many of both fans are at the game. I'm calling this game purely on who gets the ball first because I see it playing out like UCLA. If the U gets the ball first, BYU stops them and we get the ball with good field position and the ball at the half which equals a win for us. If we get the ball first and get stuffed 3 and out it's the U's game. Either way I predict the classic 34-31 victory. Let's pray the U loses the toss and BYU defers.

Post note: I know I questioned my BYU fandom above but any missionaries out there looking to convert me to the U (read: Brad Ball) can count the number of "we" references in this post and know that it just won't happen. :)

Book of Mormon Word Change

2007-11-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

I read in every paper and saw on all newscasts over this past weekend stories on the "uproar" over a change in wording in the introduction page to the Book of Mormon. Instead of calling the Lamanites the principal ancestors of the American Indians it now reads that the Lamanites are among the ancestors of the American Indians. Supposedly this is a huge deal that proves the Book of Mormon is not true! One story said researchers have proved American Indians do not have a history of Hebrew blood which proves they are not descendants of Lehi. My reaction to all of this? A big So What?! We are talking about the introduction to the Book of Mormon written by Bruce R McConkie not anything in the actual scripture itself. In fact, even if it was in the actual scripture itself (correct me if I'm wrong somebody but I believe wording in the Book of Mormon itself has even been changed before) I don' t care. Two reasons 1) the whole purpose of the BoM is built on testimony of Jesus Christ and the veracity that he visited the American continent 2) I'm pretty sure that anybody who studies the Book of Mormon or reads Mormon Authors such as Hugh Nibley feel that the Lamanites/Nephites etc resided principally in Central and South America not the United States. I personally THINK (i emphasize think because it's just an opinion and has no bearing on anybody's salvation so it's really not that important) that the final stages of the battles between Mormon/Moroni's army and the Lamanites gradually reached a migration up to the New York area and the Hill Cumorah but I don't feel that was where they had lived their whole lives.

I was surprised at the attention this trivial story received over the weekend so I wanted to comment on it. Those who want it to be false will always have ammunition and those who know it to be true will remain unaffected by a 1 word change in a part that isn't even part of the actual scripture.

Adventures In Parenting

2007-11-06T01:06:00.000-08:00

I was down at a buddy's house this afternoon playing video games and I had Cannon with me. About 10 minutes after I had fed him, I was holding him up on my lap while I was talking with my friend. I went to give Cannon a kiss on the cheek and right as I went in Cannon turned towards me and puked right in my mouth and all down my shirt. My friend saw the whole thing. NOT tasty to say the least. It was officially my first really nasty baby experience. Cannon pukes on my shirt nearly daily so that was no big deal I just wipe up what I can and change my shirt when I get home, but I sure hadn't had a taste of regurgitated baby formula. After my friend could see I wasn't upset he was half-disgusted, half-cracking up at me. Oh well, I actually think I'll take that over the stories I've heard of stuff coming out the other end all over you. I thought I'd log it here so that I can laugh about it sometime in the future. Hopefully I haven't jinxed myself for other undesireable tastes in the future.