Sunday, December 30, 2007

(Don't Start With Joke)

Ever notice nearly EVERY sacrament meeting talk starts with either a lame joke or the person takes a good 2-3 minutes "joking" about how they didn't want to talk but now they're there so "bear with me." Let me tell you something, after hearing an intro like that I am definitely not ready to "bear with you" through 15 more minutes of ramble.

Before I get going on this topic I want to note that there are good speakers out there who prepare, share actual thoughts and feelings, etc. and make sacrament meeting spiritual. End of note.

Seriously, it seems like every talk starts like this and it's getting annoying. I certainly don't expect to hear General Conference level addresses from every speaker, just an honest effort and a willingness to speak. If you said you'd speak, just speak! Don't try to formulate the ultimate-combo "not only did i not want to speak, but i'm going to try to make a joke out of how i didn't want to speak" joke. I look over at Rachel whenever someone starts their talk with either of these options. She always glares back at me for being sinfully judgmental. Needless to say I receive multiple glares each Sunday. I'm sure the sin does indeed fall on me and for that I will have to repent, only problem is I have to feel bad about my anger before I can "repent" and if I have to keep enduring these openings to talks over and over my anger will never cease!

So obviously today at church the speaker started in this manner and I made a "note to self" to write about it. Inserting a cleverly placed joke into the middle of a speech can wake up the crowd and really add to a talk. The key is to not put the crowd to sleep right at the beginning with the lame joke. Now, it's difficult to know how a joke is going to fly in any situation so you can think you have a great joke that drops dead or you might have what isn't even a joke turn into an uproar. All I'm trying to say as far as jokes is PLEASE don't put it at the beginning of the talk, it's pretty much guaranteed that it's not going to fly.

On to not wanting to talk. We all know you didn't want to talk but you didn't want to say no either when the bishop calls. I find this interesting that the whole point of the church is to serve willingly, yet I hear all the time about people rejecting callings, etc. And in the case of speaking, I hear publicly that they didn't want to talk. Weird. Oh well, I know I'm cursing myself to speak soon by writing this post. Look out for my opening joke :)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

BYU Master! (AKA Longest Post Ever)

Today I officially finished my education at BYU. To complete my journey to total, utter, and permanent zoobie-dom I even took Cannon to my final class with me. I must admit I didn’t finish with a bang; in fact, I should be proudly posting my worst grades ever at BYU this final semester (I know what you’re all saying, B’s and B+’s are not bad grades and you are correct). I truly wanted to finish strong, but I already have a job and they certainly aren’t offering me a raise for an A, just the degree please.

Actually, I’m pretty proud that I finished a 5 year program in 5 years. I took a couple summer courses and independent study courses along the way to get it done in time but it was 5 years nonetheless. I feel the average person usually takes 5 years or so just for the Bachelor’s degree; getting the Master’s degree in that time frame meant knowing early what I wanted to do and sticking to it the whole way, no “fun” classes or wasted classes along the way.

It’s a weird feeling that I won’t be going back to school potentially ever again. This is truly a life-changing moment, like finishing high school, coming home from the mission, getting married, etc. Like those other life changing events, I’m sure I’ll grow to appreciate it more and more as time passes. But enough of my sappiness, I’m doing a monster post tonight on my memories and review of my experience at BYU.

Friends Made-I’m counting good friends and not just acquaintances since I have about 100 of those from the Accounting program. Good friends made would total 3: Bo Holmstead, Cody Johnson, and David Ollmann. Bo was my roommate with Gerry and I at King Henry my first semester (more on that later). Cody and Dave were 2 of my group members in the Junior Core of the Accounting Program our first semester in the program. We’ve had multiple classes together over the course of the program and they both still have one semester left. I saw both of them today and wished them luck but I expect to be in contact with them in the foreseeable future.

Funnest Semester-Not even close my first semester Winter 2003. Roomed with Gerry at King Henry, Bo was our other roommate and we had 3 other guys at various stages. Highlights included kicking a kid we called Bones out of our apartment after he soaked a PS2 controller in water! Pretty much this was my one semester of college life before it became all business. Rachel and I were dating but I really only saw her on weekends. Weekdays involved going to school and work, then we would head back up to campus to study at night until about 10 pm and get all of our homework done, after which we head back home for serious Madden or NBA 2K3 on the PS2 until about 3 am every day. Somehow I could hang out like that every night, stay up until about the same hours with Rachel on the weekend nights, and still function with no problems. Why doesn’t that work now five years later when I’m trying to work the graveyard shift this final semester? Beats me.

Easiest Semester-Winter 2005 all classes at the BYU Salt Lake Center. Classes are just easier there to the point that the majority of people who take classes at the SL Center are actually Provo students who make the drive up just to get the easier class. Needless to say I had a lot of athletes in all of my classes. Even at BYU the almighty football player is not exempt from the easy road. I somehow got screwed with an A- in my Old Testament religion class ruining my only chance for a straight A semester at BYU.

Hardest Semester- Fall 2005. First semester of the Junior Core. I know I mentioned this final semester I will post my worst grades but that is truly more for a lack of effort than of degree of difficulty. My first semester of pure accounting all day everyday. I had religion classes at 7 am and then pure accounting from 8-11 every day. I worked all night as well (you’re only supposed to work 10 hours a week during this crucial year, I worked 35). The actual reason for the hardships were life happenings rather than the actual classes. We moved into our home the second weekend of class and spent the next month putting in the yard. To cap the semester Rachel broke her ankle December 8th 2005 right during my finals preparation. We had to board her up at her mom’s house for nearly a month while I was finishing up school.

Best Class- New Testament with Richard Holzapfel. All the religion classes at BYU are actually quite good (If you’re thinking high school seminary class you’re way off base). This class was absolutely stellar, Holzapfel is just a great orator who could explain difficult ideas in simplistic terms. It was a once a week night class and I looked forward to his lectures every week.
Secondary plus for all of my science classes. I HATE science but every time I took any type of science class the teacher was always SO enthusiastic about science you couldn’t help but kind of like it. I’ve never seen any teachers love their subject more than my science class teachers. Especially Geology with Dr. Harris, he would tell you about a rock and how “You’ll never be the same!” from seeing that rock. I still think about him when I look at the mountains and I took that class 3 years ago.

Worst Class-History with Farmer. First day of class he says, “I know you have to take this class and I have to teach this class so let’s just get through this together.” Yes it was s general, required class, but how are students supposed to respond to that type of approach? I’ll tell you my approach, “This teacher, and therefore this class, sucks!” Needless to say I checked out for the entire semester from Day 1 and pulled a B.

Class I Absolutely Waxed! -Calculus! Of all classes that is probably one most people wouldn’t exactly excel. Well, it was a core class to get into the Business School (precursor to the Accounting Program) and it was when virtually everyone I talked to at school would say to me, “What are you going to do when you don’t get into the Accounting major?” My approach was, “Screw every other class this semester! I passed the AP Calculus class in high school I can tax it this time through.” Well, I got 100% on my first test and went on to treat this class like my own red-headed stepchild. Far and away my most deserved A at BYU without any curve help or anything like that. Just straight up domination.

Testing- Reliving my 100% calculus test got me thinking about how I react to tests and learning in general. Let me explain that when I do homework or take a test and get a problem right I literally start screaming inside. I get SO PUMPED when I know I get an answer right I literally want to stand on my desk and scream “HELL YEAH!” In fact, it was a dream of mine to stand in a packed testing center and scream something such as that phrase and see the reaction spread like a wave across the giant room. I only got a couple 100% test scores at BYU I think 2 from Calculus and 2 from religion classes and that’s it. But if I get THAT PUMPED about every single problem imagine how I feel when I come out of the test and see that type of score (you are also free to imagine what goes on inside my head when my score is not so rosy :)) Yes I know I am a total nerd. I make no apologies for it, that’s why I’m an accountant!

**Note: It is my goal to not swear on my blog but I know of no other way to fully describe my emotions in this situation, I really am that pumped! So I apologize for failing to meet my goal. Hey come on, we all knew it would end someday***

#1 Lesson- You need to take risks beyond your comfort zone to truly grow. At the end of each semester professor’s wax poetic about growing both spiritually and secularly. Emphasis on spiritual growth at BYU is a given, but personal and professional growth is more of a surprise lesson. BYU has the deserved stigma of Happy Valley etc. but the truth is all of my professors have extensive national or international experience. None were people that grew up in Zion and stayed there forever; they all lived elsewhere at some point in their lives gaining real world “outside the bubble” experience. I write this as I comfortably sit in my room with my job locked up right here at home sweet home, but the lesson is not lost on me. I don’t think now is the time to leave Utah as I’ve already punished Rachel for five straight years and now she’ll have to get used to long hours and a growing family. However, I do feel a need to take advantage of future opportunities that will materialize to help us grow to our full potential as a family. That will definitely involve leaving our comfort zone and quite possibly involve leaving Utah. That certainly doesn’t mean we’ll never come back, but taking those types of opportunities will lead to a more fulfilled life. I’m writing this primarily for myself to remember this lesson when said opportunities arrive. Will we be pansies and just ride out our nice little life or will we take the leap? Only the future holds. As for now, to BYU, I AM OUT!!! (Yes, triple exclamation point!)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Truth Hurts!

Only 3 more actual days of working for the Comcastic. Coming soon, I'll do a long "lessons learned" piece as a sendoff so gear up for that!

On to tonight's "lesson". I've concluded that people don't want to hear the truth, they want to hear what they want to hear!--Funny, now that I write that sentence, all types of memories from the mission pop into my head.-- I've frequently encountered customers that misunderstand a promotional offer, and then become upset at me when I explain what the real deal is. Why are you getting so upset at hearing the truth? You don't necessarily have to accept it, but as Rachel loves to say right now, "It is what it is."

I can understand being disappointed when something turns out to be different than you originally thought, but wouldn't you rather have somebody be up front to you about it instead of finding out the truth later when you get your bill? My policy is to be honest up front and take the short-term pain for the long-term gain. Interestingly enough, one of the key points I've learned through all of my accounting studies is that honesty is the best policy! Sure you might take a hit up front for delivering bad news, but the long term payoff is better than letting people find out the bad news some other way.

Which circles me back to the Comcastic. Would you rather I pretend your misunderstood interpretation is correct to get the sale and let somebody else deal with you when you call in screaming mad about a different bill amount than you originally thought, or would you rather I just get the facts out on the table up front? Let me tell you from the customer service end I LOATHE reps who lie to close the sale and then I end up dealing with the screaming customer later whose bill is not what they were promised up front. So even though it's frustrating to deal with people who get upset with me for telling them the truth, it's actually much less frustrating than dealing with people who have been lied to. Either way you have to deal with the pain sometime, you might as well deal with it up front.

Now, how can I communicate to people in a gentle way up front that "It is what it is"? A lady tonight suggested that I was trying to drive her away from signing up for service because I was telling her the true details of the ever important "deal." Hmm, it is my JOB to try to get you to sign up for service; however, I certainly don't want to lie to you about it. Maybe on my next call I'll let them know about the incredible new "We'll pay you to take our services!" offer and let some other rep deal with the consequences when they receive a bill instead of a check. I'll be long gone by then anyways, right?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Can I Have My Money Back?

Only a few more weeks working for the Comcastic so I better get in my frustrating caller blogs while I can.
So twice in the past 10 days or so I've had people call in and tell me "I just rented a pay-per-view movie but after watching some of it I decided I didn't like it so I want it refunded." I am BLOWN AWAY that people have the audacity to even call. When I deny their request, they obviously ask for a supervisor, who obviously grants the credit.
2 takeaways from these interactions. 1) why do people think they don't have to pay for something they used? Both times I explained repeatedly that if they rented a movie from Blockbuster or went to a theater and after 20 minutes or so decided they didn't like the movie, they would not be granted refunds (and I suspect they wouldn't ask for them in these cases either). For some reason that "doesn't apply" in these situations. How does it not apply? It's the EXACT same thing!!! (Yes, triple exclamation point!) We provide info on the movie and even a preview, more than what you get reading the back of the dvd at Blockbuster. It's like me ordering a huge salad at a restaurant, eating a few bites, and then realizing "Hey, I don't like salad. What am I doing?" and asking for a refund. Absolutely ridiculous.
2) Businesses today (I am positive Comcast isn't the only company that has to deal with this) have to bend over backwards to customers for every little thing. I certainly am aware of the power of the customer and the importance of satisfying customers in any business, but I feel in America it has reached the breaking point. Customers have way too much power. I've written before that when customers call in to sign up for service I get the feeling they expect me to tell them, "As a matter of fact if you sign up today we'll PAY YOU to take our service!" I guess all I can take from these experiences is that I am looking to pay a FAIR price for whatever it is I want. I certainly don't want to get screwed on the deal, but I don't think a company should have to bow down for every little thing. Or maybe just next time I order ice cream I should lick it all over and take it back for a refund.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Mitt Romney: Faith In America

Great speech by Mitt Romney yesterday about the role religion should play in America, both in politics and the public in general. Key points included "no candidate should be a spokesman for his religion" and "God should be incorporated into public life". I think members of the church know fully well that Romney wouldn't be on the phone with President Hinckley every day taking counsel on political affairs, but obviously that message had to be reinforced to the voting public. I'm surprised the 12th article of faith hasn't come into play at all in the religious side of his campaign. Even as President of the United States he would still be subject to the Constitution, which he of course is as a memer of the church. We are all subject to the government of the country in which we live; i feel that is a great part of our religious beliefs. Romney didn't bring up the 12th article of faith but I think his speech reflected its concept.

I particularly liked his strong stance on God's place in our country. As we all know it's usually the minority that screams loudest so we hear about these poeple who want the 10 commandments out of public parks and "In God We Trust" off of the dollar. In reality the vast majorit of Americans either support or have no problem with public religious displays. I think his strong stance in support of public religious displays will help his cause.

This was finally, for me at least, a good strong showing that he will not back down from religious beliefs, unlike what I felt were sidesteps in previous interviews (see previous posts on Mitt). He didn't need to answer any specific questions about our religion, just show that he is solidified in his faith. He even mentioned something to the effect of if his faith led to the downfall of hs candidacy, so be it. Bold statement that could indeed come to pass, but obviously he'll be the better for it. I think it was good enough to re-energize his small lead over Huckabee, et all in the first Iowa election.

Interestingly enough, I noted from a few newspaper articles that many of the religious leaders from other faiths who endorse Romney still note strongly that they feel Mormon's aren't Christians. Weird. I'm not sure that really matters to me personally since I know we believe in Christ and that's all that is important, but these leaders seem to agree that Romney is seeking to build on the common beliefs of all faiths, but then reject that believing in Christ is a not a common belief. How does that make sense? Whatever.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Don't Tase Me Bro!

So the huge youtube sensation right now is the Utah UHP officer tasing a guy after he refused to sign a traffic ticket. My take? Tase him again! The officer probably overreacted a tad early but I certainly would have tased this guy by the end of the interaction. Right from the beginning you can hear the guy refusing to give up his license and registration and talking back to the officer repeatedly. Even after he's tased he's yelling at the officer repeatedly. I love the classic response of someone after they are tased/arrested, "What did I do? I don't understand!" etc. etc. etc. trying to make themselves out as a victim. The kid who screamed "Don't tase me bro!" in Florida who was tased during a forum with John Kerry said the same things right after he was tased. These people act like they were sitting queitly singing a hymn and some random thug came up and tased them! When you're dealing with a cop you might want to recognize that the cop has some authority so you should probably listen to what he says! If you think you're going to win the argument, especially by yelling at him, they'll just look for ways to screw you worse. Dealing with these types of jerks is the exact reason cops get a bad reputation. I'm sure from reading my posts anybody can tell that I get frustrated with people, so how do you think a cop reacts to dealing with these types of people daily? The times I've been pulled over I've been as respectful as possible and the cop has always been formal and respectful as well. I would fully expect a cop to tase me if I yelled at him and walked away from him when he was asking me to do something.

Anyways, there have been tons of articles about this issue in the papers the past few days so I finally checked out the video for myself. My only suggestion would be for him to pop the tase at the woman as well; you NEVER get out of the car unless directed to do so by the officer. Clearly the officer was looking to issue a simple speeding ticket but the "victim" decided it was worth his time and the pain of a tase to argue the issue with him. Next time you'd think he'll pay the ticket because I would dare say nearly all of us are indeed speeding; it's just a bummer getting caught.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Turkey Bowl

The Turkey Bowl turned out great this year even though a few guys dogged out at the last minute. We ended up having 12 people which made for a good game where everyone could spread the ball around and the teams were pretty even. Couple of fun things from turkey bowl.

I exerted my will as pleased as always! Actually, I guarded Brooks the whole time and he was already faster than me before and now that he's dropped 30+ pounds (and I've probably gained 10 or so) I was that much further behind so I had to either jam him hard at the line or get burned. On the offensive end though I did get in a couple of TDs of my own so not a terrible performance.

Marshall was the MVP for our team in the first game, ending it on a qb rush after the blitz in which he first shed a tackle, then lost his shoe in another tackle attempt, and then rumbled down the sideline for the winning TD. Crazy play. The second game ended with Curtis making a nice grab at the back of the endzone for the other team's victoy. It sucks ending 1-1 but we were out of time, oh well. Catch of the day goes to Gehrke who caught a deep ball one handed while Curtis was holding down his other arm. Run of the day goes to Stubler of all people who avoided Jacob's blitz and somehow toed the sideline to go the length of the field for the TD.

Love how many of the guys pined for flag football so Harrison and I bought 2 sets of real flags so that we weren't playing with socks only to end up playing tackle the whole time. You know, you just gotta play tackle on Thanksgiving. I'm not upset about the flags becuase I actually think they will facilitate playing football more frequently, but there's just something about playing tackle once a year and getting so super-sore that you can hardly move the next day. Nobody got hurt but I might as well count how sore my hips are as an injury because I'll be basically incapacitated tomorrow (and tonight as I write this!). I'm about as far from a pro athlete as they come but I don't see how pro football players can deal with the soreness week after week during the season. Good times at the turkey bowl.