One of my favorite lines of all time is from Colorado coach Dan Hawkins, "It's Division 1 Football!!!" Love it!
How on earth could #9 (soon to be # "others receiving votes) BYU play such a crappy game tonight against TCU? I can tell you exactly why, "It's Division 1 Football!!!!" Nice article in USA Today this week about the Cougs. Apparently they practice 90 minutes a day, all coaches are home by 6:30, and they are encouraged to make sure football is #5 on their priority list. #5? I'm pretty sure Rachel would argue (and I would have to agree with her) that football is higher than #5 on MY priority list, and I don't play. It's Division 1 Football!!!!! How about you take 3 months and inch that item up a few notches. 90 minutes of practice a day? I get that much exercise throughout the day and I'm 50 pounds overweight, slow, and sit in a chair for 12 hours a day. Could I play Division 1 Football????? Home by 6:30? I haven't been home by 6:30 this year! Note to division 1 college coaches. . . IT'S DIVISION 1 FOOTBALL!!!! Yes! Quadruple exclamation point!
This is why BYU is second to the Jazz. The season comes down to 2 games, the first time they lose and the game against the U. Can anybody provide a single good reason for attending or watching the UNLV game next week? Does anybody care? UNLV? No, nobody cares. BYU shouldn't schedule Northern Iowa or any other cupcake to open the season, they should schedule the absolute top team available (hello Florida State this year!!!!). Win, it kicks off huge momentum for a big season. Lose, I can take 3 months off until we play the U as all other games are rendered meaningless. Might as well get the loss out of the way early.
The Jazz can potentially win a championship every year (don't give me the 1984. I was 3 years old, I don't remember it, and it would take a minimum two-year run, including a BCS WIN the first year of the two year run, to make it to the BCS Title Game, and then have to win. Hmmm, I wonder what this year was supposed to be?) I already know up front that the Jazz won't go undefeated, but they can have a very relevant season. As for BYU I'm now left screaming at the television, "It's Division 1 Football!!! Get ready!!"
Game was over when: Max Hall threw his first "should have been" interception, only the guy dropped it. Clearly this defense could lock in on the fact that he looks right at his target after the snap and stays looking at him (being Austin Collie) until he throws it to him. Easy pick!
Game was truly over when: we run a sweep on 4th and 1. Note: GREAT CALL to go for it on fourth and 1. I truly support going for it on 4th and less than 3 anytime inside the 50 no matter what the situation. TERRIBLE CALL to run a sweep when your fullback and running back are power backs, not speed-to-the-outside backs. Power it up the gut with your full line of "pro level" linemen!
Emotions are running high, maybe I'll feel better in a couple weeks, when the Jazz regular season starts up.
I hate TCU.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
My First Speeding Ticket!
So pissed! So pissed! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSSSSSED!!!! Yes! Quadruple Exclamation Point!!!!
You know how they say there are those who are sorry because they truly feel bad and they want to change and there are those who are sorry because they got caught? The "sorrow of the damned" if you will? Count me among the damned for this one.
Cruising along I-84 in Oregon on my way up to Washington (and when I say "cruising" I mean "doing my best imitation of a jet because I was flying") I get pulled over. On long drives it's hard to sit at the speed limit when all you can think about is making good time. I had to make up time becuase of an hour snow delay way back in Brigham City so you can imagine what I was doing to make "good time". I'm usually pretty vigilant about looking out for radar patrolmen, but on I-84 in Oregon it is pitch black with no highway lights anywhere. Oh yeah, one other thing, the speed limit is 65 all throughout Oregon, even if you're on a 5 mile straightaway in the middle of nowhere with about 2 other cars in sight.
So I'm flying along and I pass a police car. I know I'm done. No way to hide it, no way to put on the breaks and slow down to even remotely close to the speed limit. Flat out, red-handed in-the-cookie-jar caught. I generally go about 5-10 over as most people do, enough that if I was within distance of a police car I could simply let off the gas and be within range; but on this night as I was an hour behind on a 9-hour drive I let the lead foot get the best of me.
The officer was nice about it, marked me at 85 instead of my true, faster, not-to-be-acknowledged speed, so because of his "break" (and I say that meaningfully as he noted to me that without his "break" the ticket would have run upwards of at least an additional $200) the ticket is "only" $255. I had no idea tickets were so expensive. Good thing I had the seat belt on or it would've been another $100.
Yes, no need to ask, my wife was furious. She doesn't like me doing these long drives anyway. I'm officially in the doghouse this week and I'm not even home to do anything.
But I do have some good news. . . I just saved a buttload of cash on my car insurance! Ha ha ha! Seriously though, I just switched to Progressive 3 days ago and saved like $250! I'm sure all of that savings will swiftly revert back to no savings after my ticket is tacked on the record for my next quote in 6 months, but still, plug for Progressive.
I hate Oregon.
Postscript:
Thanks to my cousin Brad for his comment as he reminded me of the other thing I hate about Oregon. You can't fill your own gas! That is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life! I've filled up once in Oregon, and I will never fill up in Oregon again! I now fill up right on the edge of Idaho and right on the edge of Washington coming back. I pull in right before Washington one night and the lady basically attacks my window! She tells me in Oregon I can't fill my own gas, even though I try to get her to let me five times. What type of morons in the state legislature thought up, "Hmmm, what can we do to make a good news story about creating more jobs but actually add nothing of value to society? I know, make a law that somebody else has to fill up your gas! Thereby creating more jobs!" Stupid.
I hate Oregon.
You know how they say there are those who are sorry because they truly feel bad and they want to change and there are those who are sorry because they got caught? The "sorrow of the damned" if you will? Count me among the damned for this one.
Cruising along I-84 in Oregon on my way up to Washington (and when I say "cruising" I mean "doing my best imitation of a jet because I was flying") I get pulled over. On long drives it's hard to sit at the speed limit when all you can think about is making good time. I had to make up time becuase of an hour snow delay way back in Brigham City so you can imagine what I was doing to make "good time". I'm usually pretty vigilant about looking out for radar patrolmen, but on I-84 in Oregon it is pitch black with no highway lights anywhere. Oh yeah, one other thing, the speed limit is 65 all throughout Oregon, even if you're on a 5 mile straightaway in the middle of nowhere with about 2 other cars in sight.
So I'm flying along and I pass a police car. I know I'm done. No way to hide it, no way to put on the breaks and slow down to even remotely close to the speed limit. Flat out, red-handed in-the-cookie-jar caught. I generally go about 5-10 over as most people do, enough that if I was within distance of a police car I could simply let off the gas and be within range; but on this night as I was an hour behind on a 9-hour drive I let the lead foot get the best of me.
The officer was nice about it, marked me at 85 instead of my true, faster, not-to-be-acknowledged speed, so because of his "break" (and I say that meaningfully as he noted to me that without his "break" the ticket would have run upwards of at least an additional $200) the ticket is "only" $255. I had no idea tickets were so expensive. Good thing I had the seat belt on or it would've been another $100.
Yes, no need to ask, my wife was furious. She doesn't like me doing these long drives anyway. I'm officially in the doghouse this week and I'm not even home to do anything.
But I do have some good news. . . I just saved a buttload of cash on my car insurance! Ha ha ha! Seriously though, I just switched to Progressive 3 days ago and saved like $250! I'm sure all of that savings will swiftly revert back to no savings after my ticket is tacked on the record for my next quote in 6 months, but still, plug for Progressive.
I hate Oregon.
Postscript:
Thanks to my cousin Brad for his comment as he reminded me of the other thing I hate about Oregon. You can't fill your own gas! That is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life! I've filled up once in Oregon, and I will never fill up in Oregon again! I now fill up right on the edge of Idaho and right on the edge of Washington coming back. I pull in right before Washington one night and the lady basically attacks my window! She tells me in Oregon I can't fill my own gas, even though I try to get her to let me five times. What type of morons in the state legislature thought up, "Hmmm, what can we do to make a good news story about creating more jobs but actually add nothing of value to society? I know, make a law that somebody else has to fill up your gas! Thereby creating more jobs!" Stupid.
I hate Oregon.
Monday, October 6, 2008
7 Random Things
My cousin said I was "tagged" and while I won't forward it (I don't forward emails so I won't forward this) I don't mind receiving forward emails. I still owe a few memory explanations as well, most notably to my friend Butter, but those are forthcoming as I continue to gather my thoughts weeks later. 7 random things that, if you know me, you probably already knew:
1-I'm a fitness/health fanatic, yet I'm fat and I eat the worst foods possible. Rachel probably knows this best (obviously she probably knows all of these things best being my wife and best friend!) I know EXACTLY what is needed to be in superb shape. I could tell you the perfect diet to rip you into shape in no time at all. I love reading about health and fitness: magazines, articles, books, etc. I've studied them all and I continue to read about it. So why am I so fat and out of shape? Well, there's one little problem: I love to eat! I love to eat pizza, hamburgers, french fries, donuts, drink soda, cake, ICE CREAM, bread, and everything else fattening and unhealthy. I keep saying "someday" but that day hasn't arrived yet.
2- I'm a huge reader. Speaking of reading fitness articles, I read pretty much everything. I love reading the news, books, magazines, etc. I could read the internet all day every day finding different articles about various random stuff (obviously after an exhaustive list of sports articles). When I worked for Comcast and really DID read the internet all day I pretty much had espn, sports illustrated, cbs sportsline, foxsports, desnews, sltrib, cougarblue, cougarboard, jazzfanz, realgm, and a few other .com sports websites memorized (seriously, I could've given you the inside scoop on hockey, which I don't even remotely care about).
3-I can't grow a good beard. My facial hair sucks (Rachel hates it anyway). I can't grow a full beard, it just grows long and ugly, not thick, so I pretty much can't grow a beard or a goatee, but I can grow a sweet mustache! I also have red facial hair which I think is weird.
4-I love music videos. I've written this before but I LOVE music videos. When I was little early morning Saturday had "Saturday Morning Videos" on one of the channels. Then in my teen years we had "The Box" which I would watch all night while working the graveyard shift at Pepperwood. (I never had MTV/VH1 growing up). Now I pretty much religiously watch the VH1 top 20 countdown on saturdays unless my cougs are playing. Even if I don't like the song that much, I think videos are cool. I always have ideas of what I would want to do for a music video.
5- I still daydream about playing in the NBA, the NFL, the Majors, etc. Hey, it could happen, right? 27 year-old fatty's make the leap all the time! Just kidding! Well, just kidding about me making some miraculous leap to a pro sports team, not kidding about me daydreaming. I know, I'm a loser!
6-Self esteem booster! I've been told multiple times by different people that I am the smartest person they know. (Totally conceited to write that I know, but hey, I just admitted that I daydream about playing in the NBA too). This is seriuosly the biggest compliment I've ever received in my life, I totally hope I can compliment people and make them feel as happy as I did when I was told that. I'm not really that smart, I attribute it to my mass amounts of trivial knowledge gained by endless reading of articles as mentioned above.
7-I love Bacon! Seriuosly, if you know me. . . Bacon, enough said.
1-I'm a fitness/health fanatic, yet I'm fat and I eat the worst foods possible. Rachel probably knows this best (obviously she probably knows all of these things best being my wife and best friend!) I know EXACTLY what is needed to be in superb shape. I could tell you the perfect diet to rip you into shape in no time at all. I love reading about health and fitness: magazines, articles, books, etc. I've studied them all and I continue to read about it. So why am I so fat and out of shape? Well, there's one little problem: I love to eat! I love to eat pizza, hamburgers, french fries, donuts, drink soda, cake, ICE CREAM, bread, and everything else fattening and unhealthy. I keep saying "someday" but that day hasn't arrived yet.
2- I'm a huge reader. Speaking of reading fitness articles, I read pretty much everything. I love reading the news, books, magazines, etc. I could read the internet all day every day finding different articles about various random stuff (obviously after an exhaustive list of sports articles). When I worked for Comcast and really DID read the internet all day I pretty much had espn, sports illustrated, cbs sportsline, foxsports, desnews, sltrib, cougarblue, cougarboard, jazzfanz, realgm, and a few other .com sports websites memorized (seriously, I could've given you the inside scoop on hockey, which I don't even remotely care about).
3-I can't grow a good beard. My facial hair sucks (Rachel hates it anyway). I can't grow a full beard, it just grows long and ugly, not thick, so I pretty much can't grow a beard or a goatee, but I can grow a sweet mustache! I also have red facial hair which I think is weird.
4-I love music videos. I've written this before but I LOVE music videos. When I was little early morning Saturday had "Saturday Morning Videos" on one of the channels. Then in my teen years we had "The Box" which I would watch all night while working the graveyard shift at Pepperwood. (I never had MTV/VH1 growing up). Now I pretty much religiously watch the VH1 top 20 countdown on saturdays unless my cougs are playing. Even if I don't like the song that much, I think videos are cool. I always have ideas of what I would want to do for a music video.
5- I still daydream about playing in the NBA, the NFL, the Majors, etc. Hey, it could happen, right? 27 year-old fatty's make the leap all the time! Just kidding! Well, just kidding about me making some miraculous leap to a pro sports team, not kidding about me daydreaming. I know, I'm a loser!
6-Self esteem booster! I've been told multiple times by different people that I am the smartest person they know. (Totally conceited to write that I know, but hey, I just admitted that I daydream about playing in the NBA too). This is seriuosly the biggest compliment I've ever received in my life, I totally hope I can compliment people and make them feel as happy as I did when I was told that. I'm not really that smart, I attribute it to my mass amounts of trivial knowledge gained by endless reading of articles as mentioned above.
7-I love Bacon! Seriuosly, if you know me. . . Bacon, enough said.
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