I love you, Beth Cooper!

So last week on my vacation I read "I Love You, Beth Cooper" by Larry Doyle, a fitting book to read as my little sister and sister-in-law just graduated from high school. Allow me to say up front that this book is HIGHLY recommended by me to laugh a ton and remember high school (and as everybody knows, I LOVE remembering high school).

Denis Cooverman is the classic nerd-geek-dweeb-valedictorian and during his graduation speech, he announces he wants to ensure he has no regrets, afterwhich he professes his undying love for Head-Cheerleader-Hottie Beth Cooper (trust me, hilarity ensues). How awesome would that type of announcement be from the podium! I remember from my graduation that Annie Smith's speech was funny, but I don't remember what it was about. Other than that, no lay-it-on-the-line announcements at my high school graduation.

Do I have any regrets over the years? I've though about this carefully over the last few days if I had any major life regrets or not. My one huge life regret is not learning to play the piano when my dad wanted me to. My parents started me at 8 and I hated it; after my dad died at 10 I think I lasted 6 more months before I convinced my mom to let me quit. Around comes high school (more remininscing!) and buddy Derek Colvin was awesome at the piano. "How long have you played?" I would ask. "Since I was 8" was of course his reply. What a gut punch.

Any other regrets? Anything I would announce from the podium if given a second chance? Oh how this eats at me! It's interesting because I can think of a lot of things I would say at the time, but now 8 years later I really wouldn't change anything. I've found that most people, even people who have had a lot of bad happen to them in life, say they wouldn't change anything of their past because that is what made them who they are today. I think about if I would say something, then I think, "But wait, would I be married to Rachel? Would I have any kids? Where would I be right now?" and since I don't want any of my present situation to change, I wouldn't want to alter anything of the past either. Crazy how that works.

Back to Beth Cooper. I want to re-read this book and I barely finished it. It reminds me of "Can't Hardly Wait" which is THEE high school/graduation movie for my age group. Basically, (SPOILER ALERT: I'm king of giving away the ending here) the nerd will go on to a successful life and the cheerleader will live the rest of her life remembering the glory of high school. Where do I fit in? I feel like life is definitely successful for me, but I definitely remember the glory of high school as well. I must be an in-between nerd (OK, full blown accountant nerd) with some level of cool (OK, full blown cool as well! You know this!)

I guess I've just been thinking about how old I am since my little sister just graduated a week ago, sending a sore reminder to me that I've been graduated for 8 years! Why do we have to get old? I'm not even old and I've already been saying that for a couple years! What will happen to me when I really get old! It is fun in my current Facebook rampage to see what people are up to and how their lives are shaping out; I can't believe how at one point in life I saw so many people every single day and now I've been years without seeing most of them. I've made new friends too, but none are as close as my friends from the good years of high school. OK, I admit, I'm still in contact with a lot more of my high school friends than the average person, but still. . .

One last story spawned from my reading of "Beth Cooper". The back of the book has a bunch of reader-submissions of embarassing moments from their teen years. I have an abundance of those types of moments, so I'll be happy to share one now.

First-Night '99

I'm downtown with Kyle Butterfield, Mike Lopez (then Mike Orellana), Trevor Kerr, and Nate Hull at First Night. We had bailed on a party at Shelbie Thorn's house to go downtown and "Get Action!" (As previously explained, that meant anything resembling a kiss from a girl) on the New Year. Midnight came and of course none of us had so much as attempted to even talk to a girl (typical night with the boys, eh?). Kyle and Trevor start talking to some girls so we leave to give them some space. They come running up a couple minutes later cheering about how they had just got kissed! This of course makes me super mad and I proclaim that I will get a kiss before the night is over.

We're walking back out of the central area and I spot a hot girl walking down the street with her friends. I promptly walk towards them, then swing around with her and the group of girls and promplty put my arm around her.

"Hey!" I say to her. I'm pretty sure she tought I was going to kidnap her or something.
"So, have YOU have a happy new year?" I ask her, meaning has she been kissed? "Yes, very happy." Was her reply.

For some reason at this point I lose it. I didn't specifically ask if she had been kissed or not, I just assumed she knew what I meant when I said that and I assumed her answer meant she had been kissed, thereby denying my implied request for a kiss. Bad move by me in retrospect.

I start fumbling my words like I do when I'm nervous and my Plan A hasn't worked out like I wanted it to. I finally stagger out, "Where do you go to high school?"
"Tooele" she responds.
"Oh! Do you go to Grantsville High?!" I ask this because 1) we played tennis against Grantsville so I was reaching for any type of connection to start a conversation and 2) I am a complete moron who didn't realize that I had just asked her where she went to high school.
"No, you idiot! I go to Tooele like I just told you!" Her scorn burned me to the third degree. I mumbled something incoherent and walked off. Nate and Mike followed in raucous laughter.

We stop on the sidewalk as all four have a good laugh. Then another girl from our school, Diana Tripodi, comes up and asks what they are all laughing at. They give a quick recap and she laughs, then follows with, "Oh! I would kiss you. . but, No!" then walks away. Scorned again to the delight of my buddies. I didn't even do anything to deserve the second blow but I took it anyways!

What a night. I will daresay that I had quite a few experiences of hitting on girls in my teen years where I was shut-down emphatically. But it's all part of growing up.

"I Love You, Beth Cooper". . . great read.

Oh yeah, I found out a few years later that Kyle and Trevor did NOT kiss those girls that night. Ha, ha, what losers :)