Why Men Need a Wife. . .

I just spent the absolutely laziest weekend of my life! I need serious help because my laziness cannot be stopped.

So I got back from my 2 weeks in Florida Friday night; Rachel had already left with her mom and Cannon out of town for the weekend so I was staring at a weekend by myself. “Ok, I’ll get tons of things done! Especially studying!” I thought to myself. Wrong answer. Get ready for a blow by blow of the most pathetic weekend ever.

Friday night, my mom picks me up from the airport around 8:30 pm. I tell her I have nothing to go home to so she can just take me to her house and we can watch a movie together. I go home to her house and watch 3:10 to Yuma with her and my sister. (Movie #1-great movie! I love Christian Bale and Russell Crowe).

Saturday, I wake up around 10 AM (I’m always good to get up by 10 on Saturday mornings because that’s when the 2-hour VH1 top 20 video countdown starts which I watch every Saturday) and do nothing because I’m going to a movie at 2 pm with my mom, sister, and brother. Yes, that was 4 hours away but my day was centered on it. We go to Ironman (movie #2-which was awesome by the way) and don’t get done until after 4. I stop by Lowe’s to get some fertilizer, fertilize and trim my lawn and mow the lawn of the vacant house across the street (my productivity for the weekend). I head inside for a nice night of sitting in front of the tv.
So it’s around 5:30 and I know I need to prepare my lesson for Gospel Doctrine the next day. Nah, I’ll procrastinate! I need to exercise anyway. I decide I’ll burn a few movies off my dvr list while I’m exercising. I watch About A Boy (Movie # 3-good show. I like nearly all of Hugh Grant’s movies) while exercising, so somewhat productive right? I finish exercising, finish the movie, shower, and think, “I should really prepare my lesson right now.” Nah, I’ll put on another movie! I watch Déjà Vu off the DVR (Movie #4-pretty good, Denzel Washington is always quality) and fold laundry. After it’s over it’s about 11 pm and I get down and dirty with preparing the lesson.

Sunday- the lesson went good as always. I go home teaching after church and help one of our families move some furniture (more productivity!). I come home and tell myself, “You haven’t studied a lick all weekend, get some studying done!” Nah, I hit up what was apparently Ryan Reynolds weekend on Comedy Central and watch Van Wilder (Movie #5-crude and not very funny but for some reason I sat through it anyways), Buying the Cow (Movie #6-I actually fell asleep for most of it so I don’t know if it was good or not—I assume not), and Just Friends (Movie # 7-I actually like this show and think it’s funny). Pretty intense marathon, eh? By then it’s about 9 pm or so and I should probably call it a night. But I check the DVR for any other recorded movies that I’ve been putting off (I mean-why not at this point right?) and decide to pound out The Perfect Storm (Movie # 8-George Clooney, Mark Whalberg, man crushes on both of them, what’s not to like?) to finish out the weekend of ineptitude.

I wish I could say that I was just dead tired after traveling for 2 weeks straight and I needed some type of major recuperation, but really I was just at home alone with nothing to do and no wife to get me to actually accomplish something. Good thing I’m not single, because I can certainly envision myself spending every weekend like that if I was.

Rachel got back Tuesday evening; she wasn’t even home 20 minutes before, “Ok, let’s go to Costco and get stuff for Cannon.” Back to normal, busy life. Feels good.