Yesterday on all the websites there were announcements that Randy Pausch had passed away. Randy was a professor of computer science at Carnegie-Mellon University that famously gave a "Last Lecture" last September. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had only a few months to live. I had actually seen the book at Barnes & Noble with intentions to read it after I finished my current book. I was intrigued that his passing received so much attention, so I investigated this "Last Lecture" further. It has been viewed over 4 million times on youtube, so indeed it was clearly an inspirational talk. I took an hour out of my time today to watch it and reflect.
The lecture was centered on three points: 1) achieving your childhood dreams, 2) helping others achieve their dreams, and 3) lessons learned from both. The lecture was definitely inspiring, considering you were watching what a person really would say as their final thoughts because he really was anticipating death. He even admitted at then end that the real purpose of this presentation was to present his thoughts to his kids, not the crowd. However, what I've been dwelling on this past hour since is the first section, achieving your childhood dreams. He spoke about how he either did or didn't accomplish what he dreamed to do as a child. Most dreams he did accomplish, which was inspiring. I've been contemplating my childhood dreams and realizing that I hadn't achieved them all, which is kind of depressing, but you can't win them all. Maybe I can find some inspiration through my own self-analysis. Ladies and gentlemen, the childhood dreams of Brandon Ball. . .
Become the School President- I had this "dream" at every level, elementary, middle, and high school. In elementary school you didn't run for a certain position, they just slotted you according to vote count. McCall Bowen had one of the funniest speeches ever (which I went on to copy when I gave my speech for 8th grade President in a new school and new city) so I didn't win President but I did become the Sectretary. Copying McCall's speech in 8th grade propelled me on to victory (obviously with the help of some influential friends) so I did achieve my dream in 8th grade. In high school, I ran and won VP sophomore year, but when I went for the big score Senior year, I lost. It was a pretty crushing blow and truly a life lesson in humility. I was certain I would win, only to lose, and I can promise you at my tennis match that day after school at Hunter High School, Zach Stringham (my doubles partner) the opponents, and everybody else in attendance knew something had pissed me off that day (but we did come from behind to win the match!). Funny how specific events in life stay with you forever. To that point it felt like one of the biggest failures in my life, even though it was for the most part out of my control. One of the many quotable lines from Randy Pausch's speech was that "Brick walls are there for a reason." This was a serious brick wall that I had to push through and learn from. Interestingly enough, I'm sure it worked out better for me than had I won. I became really super tight with my group of friends during my Senior year and had I been the school president I could've conceivably hung out with a different crowd altogether, thereby ruining the multitude of spectacular memories I have from that year.
Become a Teacher-All growing up I wanted to be a teacher. I have distinct memories even in elementary school of wanting to be a teacher. Each year I would decide that I would like to teach the grade that I was currently in because that was the best grade ever. Obviously, my final teaching dream, which I still have today, is to be a high school teacher. Partly because of Mr. Randall, my favorite teacher at Copper Hills, partly because of the opportunity to coach sports, a la Mr. Price. I still have aspirations to be a teacher someday in a high school setting, but I always knew, even from that early age, that teaching is not as financially rewarding as I would want my career to be; thus, this dream took a backseat, at least for the foreseeable future.
Play Football for BYU - Randy Pausch's dream was to play in the NFL. I never thought about fame and fortune in the NFL, just glory on the field at Cougar Stadium (Now LES). I actually never dreamed about being the star QB or anything, either, just being on the team and being able to run out the tunnel with the crowd cheering. I have had a few opportunities to meet LaVell Edwards during my life, and being able to have him coach me was part of the dream, so I allow that to be somewhat representative of the dream. When you're heading in for your second shoulder surgery at the ripe age of 15, college football on any level is pretty much erased from your mind. Interestingly enough, I don't regret not playing for BYU since I really wasn't that good, but I do regret not playing the rest of my high school years. I wanted to go back and I didn't even care about getting hurt again, but parents reminding you of the cost of medical bills is pretty serious pressure to not play anymore (That's not a knock against my parents; just a reality of life that medical bills are expensive. Let's all agree not to tell my mom that I still dislocate my shoulder on a yearly basis at the turkey bowl on Thanksgiving:)).
Be a Drummer Like My Dad- I actually had this dream and fulfilled this dream as a youth. Our band in high school, Soma, won a a local battle-of-the-bands and we even produed a little 5-song tape. I still listen to our songs all the time on my ipod and play along. One song in particular I recorded much differently than the way I usually play it and it still bugs me every time I listen to it. We played a couple shows in some interesting places, even a couple bars. I never thought we were going to hit it "big" or anything; I just tried to appreciate that I was having a good time and that I was literally "living the dream" for a little while. I still have my original drumset and I'll head downstairs for an hour or so every now and then to play along with whatever song I want (this is the true beauty of the invention of the ipod).
Serve a Mission- What LDS boy doesn't have this dream? As a little kid, it's like your life consists of growing up and going on a mission. Everybody I talked to while on the mission basically felt the same way. You don't even realize that you have to live the rest of your life after that, you just have to make it to that point and head out the door. Now that I'm approaching six years of being home, it's still an impact point in life, everything basically consists of pre-mission and post-mission. The sad part is, you don't realize you're "living the dream" until it's pretty much over. The one saving grace for me was some advice I received from my cousin Eric a few months before I left. We were at Lake Powell together and he told me to keep a journal every day of my mission and I'd always be happy I did. In two years I only missed one day, and that journal-packed with both my musings and photographs of people I met-is pretty much my personal crown jewel of my missionary experience and for me one of the highlight achievements of my life.
Now, these dreams certainly don't entail the complete volume of my childhood dreams, but some of the major ones that have popped into my head the last few hours as I thought about this lecture. This isn't a last lecture for me by any means, but it is good once in a while to reflect on life. All the news articles said that this guy was an inspiration and I really felt it watching his lecture. On to the book for me, condolences to his family after his passing yesterday.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Pleasantville Experience
OK, I've never intentionally used drugs in my life, but there is one night in my life where I am sure I was high on something. . . the night I went to see Pleasantville. . . in the theaters. . . on a Friday night. . . by myself.
All of my friends know about this famous event and pretty much every time any movie ever gets brought up I get the inevitable, "Maybe I'll go see it by myself like Baller did when he went to see Pleasantville!"
Why do I bring this up? You guessed it, I did it again, but under much different circumstances. I went to see the new Batman today lonestar; however, it was with good reason. 1) Rachel left out of town for the weekend, 2) I got off work unexpectedly at 2 pm, 3) all my friends had either seen it or were still at work, 4) the Dark Night is a man's movie (unlike a certain other movie from the past starring the man who would become Spiderman). So I caught the 3 pm Batman lonestar to kill some of my boring night away and to be able to participate in the conversations I hear daily about Batman. I'm sure I 'll still get ripped but I think I've provided enough evidence in support of my decision today. Well, at least enough to know that I wasn't on drugs.
The Pleasantville experience was a different story. I have no idea what happened or why it happened. My only explanation is that I was high. It was a Friday night, I know because I started out the night at the Copper Hills Football game. For some reason none of my friends were there; either working, coming later, whatever. After the game I knew that there was a party at another friends house, so I had opportunities to do something after the game, but for some reason I was thinking to myself, "I have no friends tonight and nothing to do. What should I do?" During this period of spaced-out thinking, I thought to myself, "I really want to see that movie Pleasantville, but I'm sure nobody else wants to see it. Maybe I should go see it tonight since I have nothing else going on." So I left the game (I'm sure we were losing big), hopped in my car, and went down to the Carmike on 90th and Redwood, which was the "it" theater at the time. Of course for Friday night dates, the place was packed. I bought my ticket, headed in, and ended sitting close to the screen, only a few rows back, dead center with people on both sides of me--giving 1 seat space on each side for the freak, of course!
The movie over, I got back in my car and drove to the party. Everybody, "Where have you been all night?" (This is obviously like 11:30-midnight range now after the game/movie combo). "I went to see Pleasantville." I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. . . people go see movies all the time, right? (Well, yes, just not by themselves). Them, "With who?" Me, "By myself". . . . . the second I responded by myself I knew I had just confessed a sin that would never be forgotten for the rest of my long-lived life. Laughter, mockery, and shame ensued. . . and does to this day.
All of my friends know about this famous event and pretty much every time any movie ever gets brought up I get the inevitable, "Maybe I'll go see it by myself like Baller did when he went to see Pleasantville!"
Why do I bring this up? You guessed it, I did it again, but under much different circumstances. I went to see the new Batman today lonestar; however, it was with good reason. 1) Rachel left out of town for the weekend, 2) I got off work unexpectedly at 2 pm, 3) all my friends had either seen it or were still at work, 4) the Dark Night is a man's movie (unlike a certain other movie from the past starring the man who would become Spiderman). So I caught the 3 pm Batman lonestar to kill some of my boring night away and to be able to participate in the conversations I hear daily about Batman. I'm sure I 'll still get ripped but I think I've provided enough evidence in support of my decision today. Well, at least enough to know that I wasn't on drugs.
The Pleasantville experience was a different story. I have no idea what happened or why it happened. My only explanation is that I was high. It was a Friday night, I know because I started out the night at the Copper Hills Football game. For some reason none of my friends were there; either working, coming later, whatever. After the game I knew that there was a party at another friends house, so I had opportunities to do something after the game, but for some reason I was thinking to myself, "I have no friends tonight and nothing to do. What should I do?" During this period of spaced-out thinking, I thought to myself, "I really want to see that movie Pleasantville, but I'm sure nobody else wants to see it. Maybe I should go see it tonight since I have nothing else going on." So I left the game (I'm sure we were losing big), hopped in my car, and went down to the Carmike on 90th and Redwood, which was the "it" theater at the time. Of course for Friday night dates, the place was packed. I bought my ticket, headed in, and ended sitting close to the screen, only a few rows back, dead center with people on both sides of me--giving 1 seat space on each side for the freak, of course!
The movie over, I got back in my car and drove to the party. Everybody, "Where have you been all night?" (This is obviously like 11:30-midnight range now after the game/movie combo). "I went to see Pleasantville." I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. . . people go see movies all the time, right? (Well, yes, just not by themselves). Them, "With who?" Me, "By myself". . . . . the second I responded by myself I knew I had just confessed a sin that would never be forgotten for the rest of my long-lived life. Laughter, mockery, and shame ensued. . . and does to this day.
64 oz. Dream
Is there anything more unusual than the simultaneous feeling of joy and disgust when you walk into the Maverik knowing you're going straight for the Torrent? On the one hand, you're thinking, "Ah, yeah! 64 oz of sweet nectar straight to the dome!" On the other hand, "Holy crap, I deserve to fall over dead the second I take a sip!"
Obviously the feeling of guilty pleasure overwhelms as I of course give in and go for it! I'm enjoying it right now, and if I let my feelings of guilt for pounding so much soda at once overcome, then I wouldn't be able to enjoy it! So I put those feelings away and gulp down a few more swallows.
Now, on the justification side, it is diet-Diet Dr. Pepper to be exact, the official Ball Family Drink-but there is no way that much soda can do anything other than give you a buzz for the rest of the night (which is what I need to stay up studying all night so that's why I bought it!).
Soda is such a pure addiction, I often compare it to smokers, except I'm one of the smokers who say, "I don't want to quit! I like it!" That's a problem since I should definitely quit (and smokers should too!).
Don't you just love hypocrites who say, "Quit drinking soda it's bad for you!" as they pound, yes, a 64 oz dream. Guilty as charged.
Obviously the feeling of guilty pleasure overwhelms as I of course give in and go for it! I'm enjoying it right now, and if I let my feelings of guilt for pounding so much soda at once overcome, then I wouldn't be able to enjoy it! So I put those feelings away and gulp down a few more swallows.
Now, on the justification side, it is diet-Diet Dr. Pepper to be exact, the official Ball Family Drink-but there is no way that much soda can do anything other than give you a buzz for the rest of the night (which is what I need to stay up studying all night so that's why I bought it!).
Soda is such a pure addiction, I often compare it to smokers, except I'm one of the smokers who say, "I don't want to quit! I like it!" That's a problem since I should definitely quit (and smokers should too!).
Don't you just love hypocrites who say, "Quit drinking soda it's bad for you!" as they pound, yes, a 64 oz dream. Guilty as charged.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I made $600 billion in 2 hours!
Somebody talk me away from the ledge. I am ADDICTED to these "work from home" websites promising boatloads of cash and endless free time!
I've been addicted for about two weeks. I was watching an infomercial on tv that promised some outrageous amount of money, so I looked it up on the internet; of course it was a huge scam. The unfortunate part for me of course is now I get to thinking, "there has to be 1 legit work-from-home type business out there somewhere, right?" Well, no. "A little investigation" has turned into hours! Every time I'm on the net I look one up that I heard of and then dig to find out if it works or not. I've had to dig pretty deep and use ingenious google searches to find out the goods on some of them, but I haven't found a legit one yet. Of course my searches bring more and more of these "cash from home" type sites out of the woodwork, and I start my search again.
It's actually pretty frustrating to get all hyped up for "this is the one that works!" only to eventually find out that it's not. The lesson of course is that all of these sites are looking for the suckers willing to fork out the $50 or so for their "secret information of success" and usually ask for much more than that once you're into the system. The moral of the story: if you have to pay to get started, it's a scam, and you're a sucker.
One little problem, I'm DYING to be a SUCKER! I seriously cannot stop looking these different sites up and daydreaming about my gobs of money. As I said above I certainly do my diligence and find out the truth (which means I find out it's actually $50 down the toilet) but I'm still hopeful that I can drop my $50 somewhere! It's burning a hole in my pocket! Get paid to do surveys? YES! Work part-time and still make $10,000/month residual? Boom! Leave your true, legit career behind forever? I'm in!
Brandon Ball= Sucker (Well, not yet, but coming soon)
I've been addicted for about two weeks. I was watching an infomercial on tv that promised some outrageous amount of money, so I looked it up on the internet; of course it was a huge scam. The unfortunate part for me of course is now I get to thinking, "there has to be 1 legit work-from-home type business out there somewhere, right?" Well, no. "A little investigation" has turned into hours! Every time I'm on the net I look one up that I heard of and then dig to find out if it works or not. I've had to dig pretty deep and use ingenious google searches to find out the goods on some of them, but I haven't found a legit one yet. Of course my searches bring more and more of these "cash from home" type sites out of the woodwork, and I start my search again.
It's actually pretty frustrating to get all hyped up for "this is the one that works!" only to eventually find out that it's not. The lesson of course is that all of these sites are looking for the suckers willing to fork out the $50 or so for their "secret information of success" and usually ask for much more than that once you're into the system. The moral of the story: if you have to pay to get started, it's a scam, and you're a sucker.
One little problem, I'm DYING to be a SUCKER! I seriously cannot stop looking these different sites up and daydreaming about my gobs of money. As I said above I certainly do my diligence and find out the truth (which means I find out it's actually $50 down the toilet) but I'm still hopeful that I can drop my $50 somewhere! It's burning a hole in my pocket! Get paid to do surveys? YES! Work part-time and still make $10,000/month residual? Boom! Leave your true, legit career behind forever? I'm in!
Brandon Ball= Sucker (Well, not yet, but coming soon)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Death of an Email
My wife changed her email this week to a new email address. I'm out of town so I don't know the exact reasons why; maybe she thought after five years of marriage she should update her last name on her email. Whatever the reason, I received a new email from her this week from her new address, r.ball@live.com.
It's funny how in this day and age, even an email address can bring memories. Rachel's old address was rachepercy@excite.com. Right after I got home from my mission and we were first dating, we would email each other throughout the day as our little way of "flirting" if you will. She worked at the credit union as a teller and I worked at the now defunct Neighborhood Grant Network (with all the time we all spent on the internet there, no wonder it went under! Just kidding to any old bosses who read this!). All of the emails were usually only a few lines back and forth, but it was fun to sneak in little lines to each other during a long workday. I wish I would have kept some of her messages, but that was back in the day when storage on the free hotmail account was at a premium, so I had to erase frequently as her messages would constantly put my inbox at the maximum storage limit.
I remember one specific day when she didn't email me all day. I got home and called her and she said, "You'll never guess what happened to me at work today!" I say, "You got robbed!" Her answer, "How did you know?!" I didn't of course but she did in fact get robbed so she didn't email me because she was dealing with that the whole day. Being the pro that she was she inserted the little ink-explosion tablet thing and the guy got caught outside not too far away. Crazy how all these little memories start popping up just from something menial like a change of email address!
Anyways, those were good times when I would get a daily (or hourly) note from rachepercy@excite.com. Maybe she'll start emailing me again!
It's funny how in this day and age, even an email address can bring memories. Rachel's old address was rachepercy@excite.com. Right after I got home from my mission and we were first dating, we would email each other throughout the day as our little way of "flirting" if you will. She worked at the credit union as a teller and I worked at the now defunct Neighborhood Grant Network (with all the time we all spent on the internet there, no wonder it went under! Just kidding to any old bosses who read this!). All of the emails were usually only a few lines back and forth, but it was fun to sneak in little lines to each other during a long workday. I wish I would have kept some of her messages, but that was back in the day when storage on the free hotmail account was at a premium, so I had to erase frequently as her messages would constantly put my inbox at the maximum storage limit.
I remember one specific day when she didn't email me all day. I got home and called her and she said, "You'll never guess what happened to me at work today!" I say, "You got robbed!" Her answer, "How did you know?!" I didn't of course but she did in fact get robbed so she didn't email me because she was dealing with that the whole day. Being the pro that she was she inserted the little ink-explosion tablet thing and the guy got caught outside not too far away. Crazy how all these little memories start popping up just from something menial like a change of email address!
Anyways, those were good times when I would get a daily (or hourly) note from rachepercy@excite.com. Maybe she'll start emailing me again!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Die-Hard Fence Sitter
So I spoke to a guy the other day who told me he used to be a die-hard BYU fan, but now he's a die-hard Utah fan. I'm sorry, you used to be a die-hard BYU fan? Then why aren't you dead?
I hear this phrase all the time now and I don't understand what it's supposed to mean, especially if you change to a different team when the weather seems good. I'm pretty sure this guy was "die-hard" BYU in the glory days, pulled the switcharoo sometime circa 2004 (BYU's low point, the U's peak) and now can't switch back, realizing that fence-sitting is not an option for a true sports fan.
How could it be any different? There are few exceptions for changing your team. First, you pretty much have to pick your team, especially college teams, by the time you're roughly 14 or 15, so switching in your mid-twenties is unacceptable. You can keep your home teams if you moved from some other city to where you live now, and you can adopt a team if it comes to your home town. For example, if Salt Lake City ever gets an NFL or MLB team, I'll adopt them as my favorite team for that sport.
What are the classifications for a "die-hard" anyway? I don't consider myself a "die-hard" for BYU or the Jazz and I've never wavered in my support for either. Does it mean you still like them even when they lose? You have to follow them year-round, endlessly speculating on recruits, free agents, and other moves for the upcoming season? Do you have to buy a lot of their apparel? Are you going to be buried in their gear?
My take (and I don't know how this guy announced his change in loyalty) is that you have at maximum one opportunity in life to make a major "die-hard" fandom change, so you better be sure it's what you want to do because there is no going back. And if you make such change it better be very public for all friends and family to know.
I can think of one change that impressed me (even though it was a change to the wrong side). My uncle Dave is true blue BYU, in truth the reason that I'm such a BYU fan as I never knew of my own father's love for the hated U. Ironically, his sons are both U fans. I don't know which year it was, but Dave took his son Brad to the BYU-Utah game in Provo. Brad chilled in the stands until the 4th quarter when it looked solid that the U was goind to win, and pulled off his outer shirt to reveal a red Utah shirt underneath, thereby announcing his loyalty change loud and proud. Uncle Dave's words for him, "I will never buy you a ticket to a football game again!" Again, terrible decision to switch to the U, but at least it was cut and dry for all to see.
I won't be so nice to my son. If he ever pulls a stunt like that on me, I'll have his name legally changed to Benedict.
I hear this phrase all the time now and I don't understand what it's supposed to mean, especially if you change to a different team when the weather seems good. I'm pretty sure this guy was "die-hard" BYU in the glory days, pulled the switcharoo sometime circa 2004 (BYU's low point, the U's peak) and now can't switch back, realizing that fence-sitting is not an option for a true sports fan.
How could it be any different? There are few exceptions for changing your team. First, you pretty much have to pick your team, especially college teams, by the time you're roughly 14 or 15, so switching in your mid-twenties is unacceptable. You can keep your home teams if you moved from some other city to where you live now, and you can adopt a team if it comes to your home town. For example, if Salt Lake City ever gets an NFL or MLB team, I'll adopt them as my favorite team for that sport.
What are the classifications for a "die-hard" anyway? I don't consider myself a "die-hard" for BYU or the Jazz and I've never wavered in my support for either. Does it mean you still like them even when they lose? You have to follow them year-round, endlessly speculating on recruits, free agents, and other moves for the upcoming season? Do you have to buy a lot of their apparel? Are you going to be buried in their gear?
My take (and I don't know how this guy announced his change in loyalty) is that you have at maximum one opportunity in life to make a major "die-hard" fandom change, so you better be sure it's what you want to do because there is no going back. And if you make such change it better be very public for all friends and family to know.
I can think of one change that impressed me (even though it was a change to the wrong side). My uncle Dave is true blue BYU, in truth the reason that I'm such a BYU fan as I never knew of my own father's love for the hated U. Ironically, his sons are both U fans. I don't know which year it was, but Dave took his son Brad to the BYU-Utah game in Provo. Brad chilled in the stands until the 4th quarter when it looked solid that the U was goind to win, and pulled off his outer shirt to reveal a red Utah shirt underneath, thereby announcing his loyalty change loud and proud. Uncle Dave's words for him, "I will never buy you a ticket to a football game again!" Again, terrible decision to switch to the U, but at least it was cut and dry for all to see.
I won't be so nice to my son. If he ever pulls a stunt like that on me, I'll have his name legally changed to Benedict.
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