Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Yesterday on all the websites there were announcements that Randy Pausch had passed away. Randy was a professor of computer science at Carnegie-Mellon University that famously gave a "Last Lecture" last September. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had only a few months to live. I had actually seen the book at Barnes & Noble with intentions to read it after I finished my current book. I was intrigued that his passing received so much attention, so I investigated this "Last Lecture" further. It has been viewed over 4 million times on youtube, so indeed it was clearly an inspirational talk. I took an hour out of my time today to watch it and reflect.

The lecture was centered on three points: 1) achieving your childhood dreams, 2) helping others achieve their dreams, and 3) lessons learned from both. The lecture was definitely inspiring, considering you were watching what a person really would say as their final thoughts because he really was anticipating death. He even admitted at then end that the real purpose of this presentation was to present his thoughts to his kids, not the crowd. However, what I've been dwelling on this past hour since is the first section, achieving your childhood dreams. He spoke about how he either did or didn't accomplish what he dreamed to do as a child. Most dreams he did accomplish, which was inspiring. I've been contemplating my childhood dreams and realizing that I hadn't achieved them all, which is kind of depressing, but you can't win them all. Maybe I can find some inspiration through my own self-analysis. Ladies and gentlemen, the childhood dreams of Brandon Ball. . .

Become the School President- I had this "dream" at every level, elementary, middle, and high school. In elementary school you didn't run for a certain position, they just slotted you according to vote count. McCall Bowen had one of the funniest speeches ever (which I went on to copy when I gave my speech for 8th grade President in a new school and new city) so I didn't win President but I did become the Sectretary. Copying McCall's speech in 8th grade propelled me on to victory (obviously with the help of some influential friends) so I did achieve my dream in 8th grade. In high school, I ran and won VP sophomore year, but when I went for the big score Senior year, I lost. It was a pretty crushing blow and truly a life lesson in humility. I was certain I would win, only to lose, and I can promise you at my tennis match that day after school at Hunter High School, Zach Stringham (my doubles partner) the opponents, and everybody else in attendance knew something had pissed me off that day (but we did come from behind to win the match!). Funny how specific events in life stay with you forever. To that point it felt like one of the biggest failures in my life, even though it was for the most part out of my control. One of the many quotable lines from Randy Pausch's speech was that "Brick walls are there for a reason." This was a serious brick wall that I had to push through and learn from. Interestingly enough, I'm sure it worked out better for me than had I won. I became really super tight with my group of friends during my Senior year and had I been the school president I could've conceivably hung out with a different crowd altogether, thereby ruining the multitude of spectacular memories I have from that year.

Become a Teacher-All growing up I wanted to be a teacher. I have distinct memories even in elementary school of wanting to be a teacher. Each year I would decide that I would like to teach the grade that I was currently in because that was the best grade ever. Obviously, my final teaching dream, which I still have today, is to be a high school teacher. Partly because of Mr. Randall, my favorite teacher at Copper Hills, partly because of the opportunity to coach sports, a la Mr. Price. I still have aspirations to be a teacher someday in a high school setting, but I always knew, even from that early age, that teaching is not as financially rewarding as I would want my career to be; thus, this dream took a backseat, at least for the foreseeable future.

Play Football for BYU - Randy Pausch's dream was to play in the NFL. I never thought about fame and fortune in the NFL, just glory on the field at Cougar Stadium (Now LES). I actually never dreamed about being the star QB or anything, either, just being on the team and being able to run out the tunnel with the crowd cheering. I have had a few opportunities to meet LaVell Edwards during my life, and being able to have him coach me was part of the dream, so I allow that to be somewhat representative of the dream. When you're heading in for your second shoulder surgery at the ripe age of 15, college football on any level is pretty much erased from your mind. Interestingly enough, I don't regret not playing for BYU since I really wasn't that good, but I do regret not playing the rest of my high school years. I wanted to go back and I didn't even care about getting hurt again, but parents reminding you of the cost of medical bills is pretty serious pressure to not play anymore (That's not a knock against my parents; just a reality of life that medical bills are expensive. Let's all agree not to tell my mom that I still dislocate my shoulder on a yearly basis at the turkey bowl on Thanksgiving:)).

Be a Drummer Like My Dad- I actually had this dream and fulfilled this dream as a youth. Our band in high school, Soma, won a a local battle-of-the-bands and we even produed a little 5-song tape. I still listen to our songs all the time on my ipod and play along. One song in particular I recorded much differently than the way I usually play it and it still bugs me every time I listen to it. We played a couple shows in some interesting places, even a couple bars. I never thought we were going to hit it "big" or anything; I just tried to appreciate that I was having a good time and that I was literally "living the dream" for a little while. I still have my original drumset and I'll head downstairs for an hour or so every now and then to play along with whatever song I want (this is the true beauty of the invention of the ipod).

Serve a Mission- What LDS boy doesn't have this dream? As a little kid, it's like your life consists of growing up and going on a mission. Everybody I talked to while on the mission basically felt the same way. You don't even realize that you have to live the rest of your life after that, you just have to make it to that point and head out the door. Now that I'm approaching six years of being home, it's still an impact point in life, everything basically consists of pre-mission and post-mission. The sad part is, you don't realize you're "living the dream" until it's pretty much over. The one saving grace for me was some advice I received from my cousin Eric a few months before I left. We were at Lake Powell together and he told me to keep a journal every day of my mission and I'd always be happy I did. In two years I only missed one day, and that journal-packed with both my musings and photographs of people I met-is pretty much my personal crown jewel of my missionary experience and for me one of the highlight achievements of my life.

Now, these dreams certainly don't entail the complete volume of my childhood dreams, but some of the major ones that have popped into my head the last few hours as I thought about this lecture. This isn't a last lecture for me by any means, but it is good once in a while to reflect on life. All the news articles said that this guy was an inspiration and I really felt it watching his lecture. On to the book for me, condolences to his family after his passing yesterday.